School concerns over not eating hot meal, WWYD?

[FoodConcernsFromThem]

DC is 7, Year 2. They would also qualify for FSM if not on Universal FSM due to their age so school rules are they are not offered the packed lunch option with the meals.

But DC is flat out refusing to eat a hot meal, even at home. They’ve said it takes them too long at school to eat.

School have relented and offered the sandwich but it’s literally 2 rounds of bread with filling and a piece of fruit and some water nothing else is offered.

At home DC is also refusing hot food saying they’re full up and don’t want it.
School is now saying they’re concerned because DC has always been on the small side and borderline underweight (we know their weight as they have regular checks for a condition they have)

I’m not as DC has always gone through phases of eating very little, I also think the hot weather we’ve been having has played a big part in their appetite.

WWYD or not do to help ease schools concern? They’re asking DC what they ate last night and DC will not lie so me lying to them won’t help.

When ds was that age he ate very little, was never interested and school were supportive and encouraged him but did not force him. We were under the paediatric team and at home we had to feed him high calorie food as much as possible. So although we did offer fruit etc he also had cream, full fat milk. He continued to be very thin until about 11 when he suddenly rediscovered his love of food. I was concerned but tried not to worry, offered food and hoped he would eat some.

Why would you lie? The school is trying to help you. Presumably they want to rule out things like autism, sensory issues etc

Can we stop being flippant about the weather, though? In fairness, in Scotland t's melting.
OP, I don't not having a hot dinner at school OR home is not a big deal, but not both.

Bloody hell. Try that again. I don't think not having a hot meal at school OR home is a big deal, but not both.

I know the OP has replied saying she does, but did you miss the bit in the OP saying that the child would be entitled to FSM? Your post is quite insensitive.

Apologies if it came across that way. I found the op's derision at the "only a sandwich and a piece of fruit offered" in place of the hot meal quite strange.

The condition you aren't disclosing might be very relevant here. It could signpost towards a possibly related condition that would account for reluctance to eat/feeling full.

I think the school have been very accommodating offering an alternative lunch to be honest, it sounds perfectly adequate and I'm gobsmacked you think they should be going even further - what would you like them to be offering?! You state they do sometimes eat sandwiches and go through phases, so you really can't expect them to cater for each time they have a 'phase'.

Previous PP are right - the school obviously do have a concern. If they're going as far as asking what they've had for dinner, I'd say they have a significant concern. Therefore it's in your best interests not to lie to them and work WITH them instead.

I’m a primary school governor in a school with high levels of FSM entitlement. A sandwich and a piece of fruit wouldn’t be considered an adequate school lunch at my school and, in fact, when that’s all that was provided during Covid our Head complained to the provider until more food was given. So YWNBU to complain about that.

But it's not all that's provided. It was given as an alternative to someone who wouldn't eat the actual meal provided.

All through 7 years of primary school all I ate was salad! I didn't like anything else , in secondary it was a plate of chips usually with cheese until they banned that 😆

My dd ate almost nothing at this age and was considered underweight, she is still picky and slim now. We were not flagged by the school though, when this happens it usually means they have significant concerns.

I would book a GP and ask for advice. Unfortunately we know of many younger children with eating disorders, and no one imagines that is what it can be until it is far too late.

My son was like this,nanda also very thin, we saw dieticians and peaditricians and both said not to worry at this age and in time their appetite and variety will improve, and it did. Trust your own instincts here.