To hand in my notice while on sick leave due to my mental health?

[nononononononoooo]

I'm on sick leave due to anxiety. So far I've had 5 weeks off and am still feeling awful. I'm on medication but, if anything, I feel worse.

A lot of my anxiety was and is triggered by my job. It's an office-based job with lots of meetings, deadlines and incredibly fast-paced and stressful. I find it very demanding on me socially and have really struggled. It's not the type of job you can put your head down and work hard with, you have to be able to network with clients and know how to talk the talk and it's just not for me.

I need to hand in my notice and leave. Thinking long-term, I know that this job isn't for me and have known since my first week there but I pressed through it all thinking I needed time to settle, but it's now been 9 months and has just gotten worse. In the short-term, I feel like my mental health will never recover whilst I'm still worrying about work. Every time my phone lights up or makes a noise I panic thinking it's HR or my manager ringing, phoning or emailing me to tell me I'm fired. I've been living in a constant state of count down of my sick notes ending and worrying the GP won't issue a new one.

My current sick note ends next week. My notice period for my job is 2 months. I need to hand in my notice, but it would mean still working there for 6+ weeks and having to deal with telling my colleagues and having leaving drinks, etc. I just wish I could disappear. I toss and turn all night worrying about what to do.

Do I had in my notice ASAP, acknowledging that my notice period is 2 months and then hope my GP can extend my sick note? Or return to work and try and just push through those last 2 months?

Don't panic. Don't feel guilty.

They will have seen it all before x

Still trying to get the courage to open my work laptop and send the message. I’m not sure how to bring up my notice period and I’m worried that my manager will request a call or meeting

You can decline a meeting once the notice is in.

Would it help you to draft an email declining a meeting, then you know that if they do ask you can say no?

Would it also help to have an appointment with your GP booked for the end of your sick note? That way you can request it to be extended to cover your notice period. Tbh, if by some crazy left field thinking they decide to hold you to the notice, you can just go sick for the whole time.

Oh boy you are in a dark place.

It’s going to be ok, no one will be angry, it’s just an arrangement that needs to be changed.

Your proposed email sounded fine though I wouldn’t say I would like to hand in my notice I would just say Please accept my resignation. I am not well enough to work the notice period and ask that you please consider waiving it.

You’ve got this. They’re just people with jobs trying to figure out life too.

This is just a job and leaving it does not define you. Take a rest period then to look for something where you’ll feel comfortable.

I did this. One day I picked up my laptop and walked out. Had 5 weeks off sick, then handed my notice in and my GP gave me a sick note to cover the 4 week notice period. My husband couriered my office keys and laptop back to them (for tracking) and that was it. Was a massive weight off my shoulder, I spend a year getting better and then went back to a slightly different type of role in the same industry. I could have had 6 months off on full pay, but the company appreciated that I didn't take it, as after those 5 weeks I knew I wouldn't be going back. I'm still on good terms with my ex boss (very small industry) and in fact now put work his way as he was excellent at his job, just not a good manager.

The email from my manager and HR was sent to my personal email rather than my work email, should I reply to that email to say I'm handing in my notice or log onto my work laptop and send it from my work email? Should I send a Teams message to my manager first to give him the heads up or just send the email?

I'm really overthinking everything and I know I'll look back on these posts wondering why I worried so much about it all but right now whilst I'm in the midst of it I don't trust my judgements to do things in the best way.

Don't resign. Get signed off for a month - you're clearly not well enough to go back yet and you might not be in a month but it will remove the stress of the expiry until you're better.

Please do access the support that is being offered - see a doctor, get some counselling.

What you're hearing in your head is your illness talking, not your right mind.

Get yourself feeling better, then you can start to think about what is right for you.

I had my emails all typed out but just couldn't bring myself to send them, I kept crying. I know the job isn't right me for me, but I still feel really sad about leaving. My manager and colleagues are really supportive, and my company has lots of support available to me. I just know deep down it's not a good fit for me, but it still doesn't make it any easier. I really empathise with my manager, he's trying his best and outlining all of the support available and I know it won't be nice to get the email from me saying I resign before I've even really explored the available support. I didn't want to drop all of this on him on a Friday afternoon just before the weekend - I know that's me overthinking things again though.

It's great that they are trying to give you support but if you still decide after this weekend there is nothing there for you (are there any other roles going you'd be more suited to) then just send your email - from either address is fine but I would suggest copy your other email address in. Be good to let them you know are grateful for their efforts as they will be worried they haven't done enough to support you.

Op, are you still being paid whilst on sick leave or have you used it all up? If you are still being paid, I would resign and give your two months notice and say that you are seeing the GP as you are still not well enough to come back to work. I would then imagine your GP will sign you off as you are not better but have taken steps to try and get better by resigning. This will give you two months extra money which is extra time to get well. Legally you are perfectly entitled to use all the company’s sick pay or statutory if that is all that is offered. However I don’t think that will necessarily help you.
Work will have contacted you as part of their sickness management. They will be looking to either support you back to work or ultimately to manage you out of the business if you aren’t well enough to work. They may offer you a settlement agreement in the meeting but that’s unlikely if it is your first meeting about absence. Your manager will not take any of this personally. It also doesn’t matter which email you use. All that worry is the stress affecting your thoughts.

As it is easier to have a plan, on Monday morning I would:

1. Email GP for an appointment
2. Email work and say you are resigning and are seeing GP to get sick note for next two months as you aren’t well enough to work your notice period. This will give you certainty but will hopefully also put you in a better position financially.

I would do this as well. No point being unpaid for two months if you could be paid. Gives you time to sort your CV etc out as well.

Thank you so much, I will follow that advice. I'm on statutory sick pay now as I've used up my sick pay, but it's better than nothing.

I would agree with this post. You can still plan to resign...

Don't under estimate the impact of having no employment and needing to find something else on your MH

You’re very hard on yourself. All you need to do is what’s right for you. The company will be fine. Try to focus on getting well, that’s what everyone wants for you.

I understand this but I have had over 6 weeks off from work and have started medication but I don't feel any better because my GP will only sign me off for 2 weeks at a time, so I spend most of that time worrying about whether my GP will extend my sick note, and worrying about going back. I have enough savings to last me several months and I have a plan for moving into a different career. I'll likely have a year of working a lower paid and lower stress job and volunteering to get experience and then retraining for a different career route.

I don't feel any better because my GP will only sign me off for 2 weeks at a time, so I spend most of that time worrying about whether my GP will extend my sick note, and worrying about going back.

If this is a big reason for wanting to resign now, then I wouldn't do right away based solely on this. Has your GP ever given you a logical reason to think they won't extend your sick note? I think most GPs aren't mental health experts but are sympathetic to how difficult it is to access mental health support, so don't have a problem with extending the sick note. I get that it's an awful feeling when trapped in the cycle of being 'reassessed' every fortnight when you feel so unwell though.

If you're on Stat sick pay I'd be inclined to try to wait it out a bit longer. I think you get 28 weeks of SSP, so you don't need to make a decision right away. Is there no option to eventually go back part time in a less stressful role with the same company even if it's just for a short period?

I don't think there's any other suitable roles in my company to be honest. It's quite a stressful, fast-paced industry. My job is an entry-level position and I've struggled; I think I'm just not suited for the industry and need to have a bit of a career change.

I'm also finding the contact from work quite stressful. My manager contacts me out of the blue which means I'm anxious every time my phone goes off that it's going to be a text, email or missed call from my manager or HR.

I was all set to email my resignation yesterday but I've ended up having a sickness bug so I haven't emailed yet. Now I'm worried as my manager emailed me on Thursday and I still haven't replied.

I'm scared to email the resignation as I think my manager will call me, and I would rather just talk over emails.

@nononononononoooo

Sorry to hear you’ve been physically unwell on top of everything else you are going through.

Here is what to do.

Preface the email with

Dear hr
First of all, my apologies for this slow response. Unfortunately I have been physically unwell for the past X days.

Then the previously prepared email.

Ending with, Thank you for your understanding. Thank you also for using email as I am finding this more manageable than phone calls .
Regards,

Email your resignation and speak to your GP, ask them to extend your sick note for 2 months (or however much notice you need to give)
I know a colleague who did this and it was fine. They had depression/anxiety (NHS)
They didn't go back to work after resigning. Incidentally they work in a completely different field now and are much happier.
You will feel a weight lifted once you've done it. I hope you feel better soon 🌷

Thank you both. Do you think it’s better to send the resignation email at the end of the working day, in the evening or in the morning? I keep putting it off

Anytime is fine. Really.

This situation is so horrible. I know it's because I'm in the thick of anxiety and depression, but it just feels so hopeless. I go from panicking about what my boss and colleagues will think and how they respond, to panicking about being unemployed with a looming recession with an employment gap and a reference that shows I had a significant amount of time off sick.

This job was supposed to be the start of my career, it was the kind of role I dreamed about as a student. It's all ended up so horribly, I feel like I've ruined my life.

OP, this is your anxiety speaking now. If you can, try to get some sleep and return to thinking about this in the morning. You will find it harder to torture yourself if the light of day!

Honestly: if your boss and your colleagues are as nice as you say they are they will feel sympathy and a little sadness, and then will promptly move on and you’ll become a fleeting memory. They will wish the best for you but they aren’t going to spend much time thinking about you if work is as busy and full on as you say. It sounds harsh but I hope that this is a comfort to you! They aren’t going to be turning the situation over in their mind and forming judgements about you: they have their own lives and problems to be thinking about.

There are LOADS of people with MH difficulties who have had time off. When the time comes to apply for other jobs (and fortunately there are tonnes of jobs right now so I’m sure an intelligent woman like you won’t struggle to find something when you are ready) it will be all about the narrative: You were ill, you recognised it, you did something about it, you learnt about yourself and what you need, and you turned it into a positive. If you want to work with people or as a manager, it will have brought you valuable insight and empathy with how it feels to be in a vulnerable situation. See it as an overcoming adversity, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger scenario.

Please be self-compassionate now and get the rest you need. It WILL all be okay in the end - truly.

Thank you, that was really reassuring and helpful