To think you should sit at an appropriately sized table

[PerryClees]

AIBU to think that if you're a group of 2 you should sit at a table for 2 and leave the tables for 4 for larger groups?

We're at a cafe and 3 adults plus 2 kids crammed on to a table for 2 whilst there's a couple of guys taking up a table for 4. I wouldn't say anything to then obviously but it's a bit annoying. To answer the obvious questions: no, the table for 2 would not have been occupied when they got here, it only just opened and the seats were still on the table when we arrived. Also the seats are not better for the table of 4. The only advantage is more table space.

No actually, it’s not.

Dont make this into a man vs woman issue when it really isn’t one. I actually see more women than men taking up four seaters.

Same goes for train seats - so many times you see a single person in a seat for 4, meaning groups can’t sit together. I could kind of understand it if the 4 seat had a table they wanted to use, but the trains I’m generally on don’t and it just seems selfish

Don't agree about the train seats at all.
I sit at a group of 4 for safety reasons. I've had a couple of very unpleasant experiences in a two seat where I've been bothered by men and felt trapped and unable to get away.
In the group of 4 you are more open - there are 3 other people at the table and usually just across the aisle there is another table of 4, so 7 people can see what is going on. Possibility of harrassment is much reduced.

Or equally enjoyable is a near empty parking lot and you pick a space with empty spaces on both sides and some idiots needs to not only park in one of these empty spaces, despite the parking lot being nowhere near full, but parks so close you can barely get your door open. I notice this is often done by men too.
It's like they can't help themselves but encroach on women's personal space bubbles and make them feel awkward and inconvenienced.

How would they even know the first car was parked by a woman though?

This story makes no sense at all. The cafe had just opened and most tables hadn't been used, but these men had the only four-seater in the whole place?

What a weird thing to make up.

They couldn't always know for sure unless they saw a woman get out. But there are ways to tell a the car belongs to a woman. Certain models are more often driven by women, a carseat more likely means a female driver and so on.

If with DH we do try to sit at a table for two whenever possible but agree these tables are often ridiculously small and cramped for two.

Or equally enjoyable is a near empty parking lot and you pick a space with empty spaces on both sides and some idiots needs to not only park in one of these empty spaces, despite the parking lot being nowhere near full, but parks so close you can barely get your door open. I notice this is often done by men too.
It's like they can't help themselves but encroach on women's personal space bubbles and make them feel awkward and inconvenienced.
Jesus that's a bit of a reach isn't it.

I think for a lot of men feel entitled to take up space, but I think it's more of an unconscious behaviour that comes from cultural conditioning than someone intentionally targeting 'women's cars' in a car park, whatever they might be.

I always book a seat at a table which is one of four on the train. The alternative is to be far to close to a complete strange ( who is often too big for their seat) if you book one of the standard two seaters. If you are part of a larger group then you should book the whole 4 table seats.

dont Agree.
iMO both women and men like to be comfortable.

i don’t know anyone who enters a situation and immediately thinks “some person who isn’t here might possibly need this more than me”

would you say that about the last box of eggs on the shelf?

I think for a lot of men feel entitled to take up space, but I think it's more of an unconscious behaviour that comes from cultural conditioning than someone intentionally targeting 'women's cars' in a car park, whatever they might be.

I always thought it was a subconcious herding instinct, but a lot of MNers say they can't park unless they have a car right next to them to line up with. Embarrassing but apparently true.

In my previous job, I worked with a lot of clients who we couldn't visit at home, either because they were homeless or because of risk issues.

We often met clients in cafes, and always got the biggest, most out of the way table possible to give them maximum privacy, and because we needed a decent sized table to be able to use laptops, fill in forms etc. I never felt bad about using a big table when larger groups were crammed onto a small one. They had the option to go elsewhere, which is what I did if I met a client and found there was nowhere suitable to sit.

We used to use libraries where possible, but the constant cuts in opening hours made that less and less feasible.

"who is often too big for their seat"

So only small people are allowed in standard class now, and all us fatsos should cough up and go first?

What is fascinating is how much narrower seats are on virgin compared to say great western, the old 125 carriages feel enormous compared to virgin who use same carriage stock as tilting trains hence much narrower seats.

@Notadogowner - I can't believe you moved mid meal! Different but equally awkward moving if you have tea/cakes but a meal.

I certainly would not have moved.

I would have said no! But my friend was much too polite and immediately said yes so we had to move. I think it was extremely rude of them to ask as we were eating, and they didn’t even end up staying for long!

Loads of women have argued against the train suggestion and said they'll sit where they please.

If I'm with a friend and there's an empty 4 seat table I'll sit there as generally a table for 2 is too small to put your food on comfortably.

Aren't you and I kind of saying the same thing?

If I am working on my laptop, I want a decent table to rest it on and have room for my coffee/ water as well. The tables on the airline seats are too small and you can't get a decent angle on the laptop lid.

If you want to sit together, book seats in advance.

I went in a cafe recently that had only just opened. Just me getting a takeaway coffee, and two men. They were going to sit at a 4 until the staff asked them nicely if they would take a 2, as the place was going to get busy (it always does; it's small, and popular).
So it's not that unbelievable a scenario.

My sister and I went to a pub garden recently which was completely full and we grabbed a table for 4 when other people left as it was the only one available.

A couple of hours later a group of 4 came over and asked us to move to an available table for 2 but it was the other side of the pub garden and in the shade whereas we were still in the sun and would be until sunset, so we said no (politely).

They walked off chuntering about people being selfish 🙄

I don't think you understood what I was saying @DameHelena. Were they about to take the only four-seater table in the entire cafe?

I'd sit where I felt like sitting. Wouldn't even cross my mind to be perfectly honest. I try to be considerate and would offer to move if I saw a group struggling, but I don't live my life anticipating the potential future needs of theoretical family groups that may or may not need something i have. The comfort of customers is down to the establishment so in your position I'd make a suggestion they allocated tables.

Not impossible - I'm thinking right now of one I used to go to where the majority of seating was small tables with one large one in the bay window with bench seating... probably more common in areas with shops converted from terraced housing

Very unlikely though!

Maybe when they arrived the four seater was the only free table. (Based on your comment that you arrived after).

The argument about personal security and also that some people are larger than others seems to me that sometimes it is reasonable for two to occupy a table for four.