To ask for brilliant excuses to get off the phone with over-talkative relatives..

[Fuckoffeverything]

I need some really great plausable excuses to get off the phone. Someone at the door/ I've got an appointment don't really cut it with this relative.. They just talk on and on and on. Any ideas gratefully received.

Also, I don't want to hurt their feelings..

Someone at the door? You need the toilet?

Hang up and text them 5 minutes later saying your battery died must catch up next week

Do you not have a house phone or if they ring on that, a mobile? If so get another member of your household to ring it and say got to go the house phone/my mobile is ringing

Have a baby and then say all the time Oh i have to go, babies nap time etc etc 😂 have not been doing this constantly recently

battery has died!
Answer the phone saying your battery is just on the blink (this can apply even if you have a landline which we haven’t had for over 10 years now but the receiver was constantly left off the base!) and after a few minutes you can say arghhh it’s beeping at me and then just cut them off.

Depending on the time of day, you could always say you left something on the cooker/ in the oven and you need to go and take it off/out.

“How lovely to hear from you! It’s perfect timing as we have to go out at 4, but that gives us a good 10 minutes to catch up before we have to leave”

You could:

A. Cut the call off in the middle of what you are saying to them. Then put your phone on silent/mute them for a while as "your battery's run down ". Warn other members if your household that if the chatty person comes back that mum/wife, etc has had to go out...

B. Tell them (interrupt if necessary) you have to go but you'll call them soon. Then put your phone in silent, etc as before...

C. When you pick up initially, before they start, tell them you're just in the way out, or about to go into a work conference call, etc and you literally only have one minute. Once you've had your minute, interrupt, day you need to go, "speak soon" and hang up. or

D. Or send everything to voicemail... 🌹

Set the timer on the cooker then tell them dinner is ready you have to go.

Use the test function on the smoke detector to create an emergency.

Accidentally lose signal when you're ready.

Just tell them you have to go, no excuses and if they witter on hang up. Two or three times of this and they should learn boundaries.

If you're on a mobile try this

'All you have to do is turn on airplane mode during the call. By switching to airplane mode, the call will drop but rather than seeing "call ended," the person you were talking with will see "call failed," so they will think the network dropped the call and not that they were dropped by you'

Set the scene when they call.
'Awk hi Mary, how are you? Yeah I'm good, just put dinner on there.'
Gives you a great excuse to end the call 10-20 minutes in.

I actually ring the doorbell.

Don't bother with excuses.

Decide when you answer how long to give them. At five mins to go, say ' lovely to catch up, going to have to go in a minute or two'.

Then 'sorry, got to go'.

It's not easy, but it really is very simple. Good luck.

My personal favourite is the wonderful saying 'I'll let you get on' AKA OFF YOU FUCK

Amazing!!!

Just put the phone down on the side and let them whitter on to themselves whilst you go and have a coffee or do the dishes. Pop back every now and again to say "uh huh" or something.

Play the sound of something smashing loudly in the background. "Oh shit. Xx dropped a glass. I'll have to go clean it up before she cuts herself... HANG ON DARLING IM COMING! NO, DON'T TOUCH IT!..... I'll have to talk to you later auntie Ethel. Bye now."

yes, speakerphone was invented for this!

I've posted this before on here but:

I say 'oh I'm just phoning quickly while DH nips out to pick up a takeaway' (sometimes this is even true).
Then after 20 minutes I say 'oh that's DH back with the food, gotta go.'

But this of course backfired when I saw the person face to face and was complaining about putting on weight in lockdown, she said 'well right enough, you do have an awful lot of takeaways...'

"I'm so sorry I've got to go I'm desperate for a poo..."

Set the kitchen timer to go off. Need to get dinner/cake out the oven.

This! So much this. I do this with my MIL, it works so well.

"Right, I better let you get on, chat soon, bye now, bye, byyyee"

I have a relative like this, i start the conversation with "oh hi, I'm just getting ready to take x to y, but can talk for a minute"