To ask for brilliant excuses to get off the phone with over-talkative relatives..

[Fuckoffeverything]

I need some really great plausable excuses to get off the phone. Someone at the door/ I've got an appointment don't really cut it with this relative.. They just talk on and on and on. Any ideas gratefully received.

“I’ve got to go now, bye”.

I really don’t appreciate people calling me up to tell me their personal monologues for hours on end. I have a relative who, when I tell her I have guests and can’t talk, she’ll then call my guests to ask them ‘can you pass the phone to DogsAndGin’, to ambush me that way! So rude!

Hand the phone over to the closest small child 😂😁

turn your phone's flight mode on, it will look to them like provider cut the connection not that you did it

Or just don’t answer the phone to them

You are going out to buy a yacht?

You are having an affair and the hotel room is only booked for an hour?

After years of making such excuses, I realised you don;t need one. You just say cheerfully, 'It's been so lovely chatting to you. I have to go now. Lots of love to you and the family. Bye for now.' Then hang up.

Remember, they don't care whether they are inconveniencing you so you don't need to worry about setting boundaries you can cope with.

I simply used caller display and didn't answer the phone to that person very often.

Eventually older relative was the only one who rang my landline phone rather than my mobile, so when I lost the charging connection died I just left it to voicemail and I contacted when I wanted.

Older relative just thought I was very busy apparently...

It is no help to you because it is not plausible at all, but my favourite ever get-off-the-phone excuse was when I heard my son, aged about 17, say, "Sorry, gotta go -- the giraffe is on fire" and hang up.

Just knock on your door and say someone has just arrived.

Hand phone to small child while saying tell auntie all about what you did at school /nursery /with your friends yesterday and telling auntie that child want to talk to them

Say you are desperate for the loo

Start coughing and coughing and say you have to go and get a drink and will call back later

oh gosh is that the time, I am going to be late for my appointment, let talk again soon

oh no dc needs me, they have had an accident

pretend the phone connection is bad..hello, hello. Are you there, can you hear me, hello.. and then hang up and then turn it off

oh my god where is that water coming from…oh no, sorry I have to go NOW

YANBU! I have the same problems, my voicemail message "please don't leave a message, I won't respond. Send me a text or email me at xxxx.com" My phone still shows that I have voice messages

I ring our front door bell whilst on the phone, so the caller can hear.

I give one soft attempt at ending it mutually:

'Right, it's been lovely to speak to you! I'd better get off/let you go. Take care!'

and if they just refuse to end the call politely or keep talking over me, I say it again and then put the phone down.

Don't worry about offending them. Either they'll be used to it if they do it to everyone, or they'll get a shock and realise that they weren't really listening or taking part in an actual conversation at all.

I used to volunteer on a helpline and I learned very quickly that all of the usual polite social niceties about ending a call don't work with some people and you cannot let them keep you on the phone forever, it's not helpful to anyone. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

I agree with setting the kitchen timer to go off when the phone starts to ring, so you "need to rescue the cooking".
I also have an alarm on my smartphone to make sure that I take meds at a set time.
It's not supercritical timing really, but it can be if you need a polite excuse!
My poor innocent cat has occasionally been accused of doing something awful which must be stopped forthwith, such as "bringing in a live frog".
If it's a landline, and you don't have caller display, wait for the ringing to stop; then try 1471. It might be somebody else calling, in which case, you can call back immediately.