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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to expect him to be apologetic for not noticing the puddle

67 replies

patchwirk · 05/06/2022 08:34

I was up early to help DH and DS2 (age 15) get packed for a day out. Just as they were leaving I noticed a puddle round the base of the downstairs loo. DS2 said he hadn't been in there this morning. DH said he had used the loo but didn't make the puddle, and hadn't noticed it. I expressed frustration at this, but he said, in an unsympathetic tone, that he wasn't going to apologise for not noticing something. I was annoyed he said this, especially in front of DS2, who often claims, in the same dismissive tone, not to notice the mess he leaves in his bedroom, the kitchen, the bathroom etc. Aibu to expect them to notice? I don't expect a profuse apology, just a "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice - I would have cleared it up if I had."

OP posts:
Kokapetl · 05/06/2022 09:37

This is why we have the house rule that everyone sits down to use the toilet.

niceaspies · 05/06/2022 09:39

I mean perhaps teach your kids not to piss on the floor
but I wouldn’t get annoyed at someone for not noticing… what if you hadn’t noticed until they’d gone? Who would you get mad at then

NiqueNique · 05/06/2022 09:39

Porcupineintherough · 05/06/2022 09:26

Don't do their packing and tell them to clean up the piss (tell them to sort out who between themselves). Scrub the word "doormat" off your forehead and go live your life.

This!

Why are your sons still peeing on the floor?

Why are you up early to pack for your adult husband and your 15 year old son?

SoupDragon · 05/06/2022 09:39

DS1 is the most likely suspect, but he was still in bed when the puddle was noticed

He is the one you need to be angry at then, not the person who didn't clear up something they didn't see.

WooNoodle · 05/06/2022 09:40

Iamthewombat · 05/06/2022 09:34

I’m with the OP. Her husband notices the puddle of wee but decides that it’s women’s work to clean it up and that the OP can do it, not him? So just leaves it there for her to notice and deal with? I’d be annoyed too. It is possible to be annoyed with both the creator of the puddle and the other person who is supposed to be doing the adulting in the house.

No he didn't notice it though.

LemonPalmTree · 05/06/2022 09:40

Iamthewombat · 05/06/2022 09:34

I’m with the OP. Her husband notices the puddle of wee but decides that it’s women’s work to clean it up and that the OP can do it, not him? So just leaves it there for her to notice and deal with? I’d be annoyed too. It is possible to be annoyed with both the creator of the puddle and the other person who is supposed to be doing the adulting in the house.

He said he hadn’t noticed it. Rather than making silly statements about womens work and adulting, it’s ok to accept he hadn’t seen it and so did nothing about it

Bollindger · 05/06/2022 09:41

My friend solved this one.
It was so funny.
She would wipe it up disinfecting the area, then replace it with water.
If it was still there, next time, she cleaned it just in case and made it a big bigger.
Someone stepped in it in socks, OMG the blame game about stepping in puss and whom it belonged to. She shrugged and said not me , I sit on the loo.
Took 3 tries, before it stopped for good.

imisscashmere · 05/06/2022 09:41

I’d be livid if my husband left a puddle of piss on the bathroom floor, let alone anything else.

ElenaSt · 05/06/2022 09:41

Why are you up early go help them back?

One is an adult and one isn't far short of being one, so why are they incapable of packing their own stuff?

Is your husband a jellyfish?

Iamthewombat · 05/06/2022 09:41

He SAID he didn’t notice it. He did. He decided that the OP could sort it out and said nothing. Then when the OP brings it up he gets defensive. That’s how I’m reading it. Who doesn’t notice a puddle of wee?

ElenaSt · 05/06/2022 09:42

^ why are you up early to help them pack?

ElenaSt · 05/06/2022 09:43

Other than a small child or a man with a six foot willy why is there pee on the floor anyway?

Isaidnoalready · 05/06/2022 09:44

My sen son regularly pisses on the floor its noticeable very fucking noticeable

Thatswhyimacat · 05/06/2022 09:49

I think YABU seeing as you got arsey with your DH about it when you strongly suspect DS1 is the culprit. To be honest, DS1 should be clearing it up whether DH noticed it or not, noone should have to clean up someone else's piss.

Whitehorsegirl · 05/06/2022 09:51

Unbelievable how so many people are making this about this OP and her ''tone'' and what she should or should not do...

Somebody leaved piss on the floor, which is obviously disgusting, and then makes no attempt to clean it up because he conveniently ''did not notice''. The only answer to that is ''clean it up you lazy sod and next time be more careful''.

Just sounds like he expects the OP to just clean up after everyone and be quiet about it. She should not put up with that type of lazy, disrespectful attitude.

Those who seem happy to clean up puddles of piss from grown-up, able males I suggest you take a good look at yourself...

BattenburgDonkey · 05/06/2022 09:52

Iamthewombat · 05/06/2022 09:41

He SAID he didn’t notice it. He did. He decided that the OP could sort it out and said nothing. Then when the OP brings it up he gets defensive. That’s how I’m reading it. Who doesn’t notice a puddle of wee?

How do you no he noticed it but lied? What she said is she expressed frustration to him (for not noticing) and he said he couldn’t apologise for something he didn’t notice. Both are daft and should be annoyed at themselves for allowing their son to piss on the floor, and for not getting him out of bed to clean it up.

Onwards22 · 05/06/2022 09:55

Not sure why he needs to apologise for not noticing?

If you didn’t notice it, how can you apologise for not seeing it?

I agree.

It could have been anyone (including you) and it happened during the night/early morning when people are half asleep and they genuinely didn’t notice.

If someone knew they done it and didn’t bother cleaning it up then be annoyed but it doesn’t sound like this is the issue in this case.

WooNoodle · 05/06/2022 09:56

Iamthewombat · 05/06/2022 09:41

He SAID he didn’t notice it. He did. He decided that the OP could sort it out and said nothing. Then when the OP brings it up he gets defensive. That’s how I’m reading it. Who doesn’t notice a puddle of wee?

How do you know he did notice it?

Midlifemusings · 05/06/2022 09:56

I think you are unreasonable.

If I went out to get something from the car and came back in. Then DH goes out and comes back in and asks did I not notice the puddle of fluid under the car and asks me in an accusatory tone, expecting an apology and gets annoyed I didn't use the words he wanted me to use when I said I didn't notice it - I would find him to be controlling.

Pyewhacket · 05/06/2022 10:00

He used an unsympathetic tone. Did you use a sympathetic tone when you 'expressed frustration' 🤔

SoupDragon · 05/06/2022 10:02

Who doesn’t notice a puddle of wee?

someone who isn't looking at that bit of floor? It's not rocket science.

SoupDragon · 05/06/2022 10:03

Somebody leaved piss on the floor, which is obviously disgusting, and then makes no attempt to clean it up because he conveniently ''did not notice''. The only answer to that is ''clean it up you lazy sod and next time be more careful''.

except it wasn't him that did it. Even the OP says the one with form for this is DS1.

Mellowyellow222 · 05/06/2022 10:14

So it definitely wasn’t you. It was one of the men in house.

so dad should have said that’s not on - boys are too old to be pissing on the floor. One of them has to clean it up.

why is to automatically your job?

Lalliella · 05/06/2022 10:15

Hiwi · 05/06/2022 08:38

YABU

Maybe it wasn’t there when he used the toilet. Strange to be annoyed by this.

What on earth? You wouldn’t mind a puddle of piss on your floor? How low are your standards?

SoupDragon · 05/06/2022 10:19

Lalliella · 05/06/2022 10:15

What on earth? You wouldn’t mind a puddle of piss on your floor? How low are your standards?

Show quote history

the annoyance being talked about is that her DH didn't notice. Not at the puddle specifically.