Uniform makes her uncomfortable

[fUNNYfACE36]

Dd3 is at a state secondary school which allows girls to wear a school summer dress r as an option in the summer term.Dd since the age of 12 has had a large bust , now is now 1 5and has stopped growing and is a petite 5 ft nothing size 4 trousers with 34 E chest which doesn't sound big , but looks very big on her and attracts unwanted attention. The school have brought in a new rule that school jumpers can no longer be worn with the summer dress - blazers only..zthid is problematic because dd always wears a jumper to cover her bust whether in winter or summer uniform, also the buttons on the summer dress gape. At least the winter uniform has a tie to cover gaping.
Before the rule was brought in I spent £120 on 3 new dresses and I am annoyed she can't wear them now. Other girls feel the same but no-one feels able to bring it up with the staff.The next size up completely drowns her btw
Aibu to say something to the school .she has another 3 years to go.The same uniform is worn through the 6ht form too

Are you in the U.K.? Button through dress into the 6th form in a U.K. state school is very unusual. If you’re somewhere where it’s more common (I’m casting my mind back to teen years watching Home & Away 🤣) it might be worth seeing what other schools / school suppliers do. I can’t imagine this is a frequent issue for U.K. schools.

why on earth do parents not feel able to bring it up with the school?

Just as an aside: size 4 bottom but 34 top sounds a very unusual combination

It's almost like it isn't true.

The solution should not be for your daughter to wear extra layers that possibly make her too warm. Summer uniform exists for a reason.

buying up a size and tailoring only works to an extent. The problem is the shoulders and sleeves. If those are giant, you basically have to recut and remake the shirt. It’s not a matter of some strategic darts.

this really comes down to an issue of discrimination. I know it might seem trivial, but it’s not. It plays into a larger issue of schools not considering diverse body types when making uniform rules. Your daughter feels a bit embarrassed, but this might be a good lesson in standing up for her own rights and the rights of others.

I’m not sure why you can’t raise it with the school. If girls feel self conscious about their bodies in a uniform they are required to wear, it’s their parents jobs to help them sort this, if they-quite understandably-don’t feel able to do so themselves.

If she want to wear the dress, do her a favour and buy one that fits, if the buttons gape, it’s too small.

I'd agree that her bra size is likely to be wrong. She's more likely to be a 26 or 28 back and a G/H cup. It really does make a huge difference to have a properly fitting bra, which might help with the dress issue. Fit example, I went for a fitting yesterday, and I was 1 band size too big and 3 cup sizes too small. It feels and looks so much better to be in the right size.

if you’re in the UK get her to a bravissimo shop to get fitted. I agree the sizing sounds off, and I find that a properly fitting bra makes my boobs look more in-proportion.

Have they been worn with yet?

I’d ask if I can return them and either get the bigger size (it doesn’t matter if they’re baggy on her) or just get her to wear her normal blouse or whatever the other option is.

I have big boobs too and find many clothes difficult to wear. I usually buy a size or two bigger than I actually am as many tops are based on average boobs. Sometimes this means the tops don’t look as good as they’re not as fitted but when it’s a uniform there’s not a lot you can do.

it's a summer dress - designed to be cooler, so needs to be loose fitting rather than bursting at the seams and buttons.
if the buttons are functional, ie essential to getting dress on and off, sewing them up isn't a great solution.
IF the dress does fit and it's more self consciousness rather than permanent gaping, look at a camisole type bra - M&S do an excellent post surgery one that's v comfortable but good support that goes up to an H cup.
www.marksandspencer.com/2-pair-pack-post-surgery-padded-full-cup-bras-a-dd/p/clp22387625?color=WHITE

Sew up front on the dress leaving top couple buttons so she can take it off over her head. My mum used to often alter uniforms for me and minimising bras can be very confident boosting.

Total tangent, but if she is a size 4 and 5ft nothing she almost certainly has a smaller back-size (and thus larger cup-size) than a 34. I am an overweight, middle-aged size 16, 5'2 woman and my back size is between a 32 and a 34.

Good chance she's more like a 30G. Worth checking out A bra that fits.

On to the point of your post. YANBU. I would raise this issue directly with the school. It's a ridiculous decision by the school. I hated the attention I would get as a teen (mostly from creepy older men) because our school insisted on a blazer and a blouse in the summer (no jumper). You'd hope things had changed over the years!

I am pretty much the same size as her. Either she wears a top underneath her dress so if it gapes it doesn't matter or she wears the normal school uniform of a shirt and trousers/skirt. Unfortunately she is an awkward size like me and you just have to adapt as clothes are poorly designed. Even at work nowadays my shirts gape and I have to have the top couple of buttons open with a vest top underneath.

Don't complain to the school, honestly this isn't an issue that needs escalating just one of those life problems that you have to put up with.

I think this is really bad advice.

5 foot tall, size 4 trousers, but her TORSO measures 34 inches at the top of her ribs?

Doesn't stack up OP. Pun intended.

Back at school, my friend had this issue, so her mom stitched an extra button onto her blazer so it would button higher and keep her covered

Thank you for your replies.To answer some points

The dress is a particular style and a particular fabric pattern not a generic gingham.VIrtually all the girls wear it and it des look nice.i don't think she would want to be the only one in winter uniform

The gaping is one issue, but the other is the desire to hide her bust to avoid unwelcome attention.

I

I also think the sizing is off and a better fitting bra would be the best start as she’ll feel supported and secure.

At my slimmest in recent memory - a size 18 ish - I’m a 34G - no way a girl who is a Size 4 has a 34 back measurement and if she’s wearing that she’ll be feeling awful.

I don't understand the people saying it can't be true, I've got a small waist, size 6 but a large rib cage, I'm a 34/36 bra. Very difficult as it means fitted dresses don't work as I need a 14 round my ribs and a 6-8 across my stomach. Lots of people are very top heavy, it's not that odd.

Take the dresses to a seamstress and have them properly fitted. They shouldn't gape.

How will your dd cope on very hot days? She needs for the dresses to be tidy, comfortable and reliable without anything over them.

I’ve had this issue with button up dresses and shirts even when there was plenty of fabric in the chest ( ie it was not tight). It’s to do with the placement of the buttons which generally sit above and below the bust line not in the centre . It’s shit to have to wear an extra layer like a vest top when it’s hot because clothing manufactures can’t be arsed to solve the problem. M&S used to sell “no peep” shirts with extra buttons hidden on the inside of the placket but seemed to have stopped them. I’ve solved the problem with press studs at the point of the gape but Velcro might do it as well. Obviously the bigger dress with some proper tailoring would be better going forward. In fact a really great dressmaker can do all sorts of wizardry to balance out the proportions of the body.

Other girls feel the same but no-one feels able to bring it up with the staff.

This is what parents are for. You need to talk to the school, asap.

Yes it is a UK school.i suppose it is quite unusual

It's very unusual for a state school in the UK.
I've not come across one that has a uniform of any kind in yr12 and yr13, it's always own clothes. They need to recruit students!
What do the boys wear post 16?

@Maireas DS’s state school has uniform in sixth form - it’s a variation on younger uniform - different coloured ties and blazers. It’s a boys school with girls in sixth form and many of the girls transfer from a school with no uniform in sixth form and I always wonder if one factor is not having to “compete” re clothing.

That's interesting, Ali - I'm intrigued that some schools still do this.
With the girls in our 6th form wearing leggings and jeans, I can't imagine them coming in school dresses!