To dump DP for this?

[Thousandthingstosay]

Been with DP a year. Been good and he's nice and kind and we have a lot in common.

But

If you ask him a question on anything he will give an answer as fact regardless of whether he knows the answer or not. He cannot seem to say "I don't know".

For example, I'll ask if you need a visa to go to a certain country and he'll say no when he doesn't know. Or has a friend accepted an invite for dinner or anything really. He says the answer he wants it to be.

We've had conversations about it and how I feel I can't trust anything he says anymore as I'm always thinking 'but is that true'.

He can't explain why he does it.

It happened again today over something trivial and I just think 'fuck this'. Cannot be arsed.

AIBU?

What is? Firing general knowledge questions at people? Not where I come from. We tend to either discuss what we're up to/friends are up to/or stuff they might actually know eg I might ask a medic friend a medicine question, a car mechanic friend a question about cars, a person who's just been on holiday somewhere a question about the visa. I don't expect my lovers to be some weird font of all knowledge and throw random questions at them. Why would I? How would they know?? It's a 'he's a man so must know' 1950s attitude imo.

general ignorance about things

I love this.

Who in their right mind would do that?

You can’t change him, but you can change your own behaviour - maybe don’t ask him so many questions expecting him to know the answers?

There's those low standards! Don't you dare leave a man, no matter how annoying. Just change yourself and put up and shut up.

It sounds like he irritates you.
not a good sign.

When my ex Husband began to irritate me over trivia like this, it was the beginning of the end for the relationship.

He’d do it on purpose to wind me up.
Call a Blackbird a Sparrow, or something else that was daft, and he did it as it annoyed me.

In retrospect, we were both young and silly.
Such petty squabbles are never a good sign :(

Is he like that with your friends and family too, OP?

Sounds like someone your friends wouldn't want to spend too much time socialising with, which would be a shame if you're an outgoing type of person.

‘I thought he’d change’ why?

If you ever find yourself thinking that about any future boyfriend, know it’s a sign to just dump him now. That phrase is the reason why so many women end up throwing years of their lives down the shitter for some bloke, for a reason they made up in their heads. ‘Despite him repeatedly showing/telling me who he is, I thought-he’ll change’ 😂

@Thousandthingstosay look up diaphobia...

Ask him the distance between your town and Sydney, Australia. See what he says.

I mean in this case he's right, most boyracers are just loud because they want it to be loud, it's nothing to do with the engine it's just the exhaust. So it's a bit difficult to say if he's still continuing to make things up or not

However you can leave him for whatever reason you want, and it sounds like you find him irritating, and at only a year in that's not a good sign

I know it's not the point, but the fake dual exhaust thing is true. Boy racers buy adapters that go in the exhausts and increase the sound/popping noise

sounds exhausting

My ex did this... I can't fathom why he did it, but it was a contributing factor in our break up as I couldn't trust anything he said. Some of it was general BS e.g. pretending to know stuff he didn't, but some of it was personal BS. Even his friends used to joke about it. It was exhausting and became more and more unattractive over time.

It isn’t just men. I have a friend who does this. In fact she has said, on a number of occasions, that as long as you say something loudly enough and firmly enough, people will believe it. The next time she said something with no proof I told her I didn’t believe her. She was mortally offended, but I repeated her saying back to her and told her she had told me she would lie/ make things up.

YANBU there's nothing more demoralising than floundering to figure out which way is up in a relationship. It's a type of passive aggressive behaviour IMO.

It's not supposed to be this hard. Communication isn't that difficult and like you say, it's not the end of the world to say I'm not sure, let me check or whatever.

My exH was like this, turned out he was just a straight up liar and this behaviour was an extension of that and the wider PA behaviours that he displayed.

Do you want to live a life with someone you can't take at their word?

One of my embarrassments was that before I figured out that my exH would do this, I'd often pass on what he'd told me to others therefore perpetuating the utter rubbish he waffled with no actual knowledge of but talked a confident talk about.

I'm like your DH. My DH is prone to asking me questions to which I'm unlikely to know the answer and I tend to respond with, "I don't know, what do YOU think?" or, "I'd be guessing, ask Google." This thread has given me the idea of seeing whether I can get away with giving him an authoritative answer that's total bullshit.

Could it be 'biggish' ego combined with low self-esteem...? Or maybe just low self-esteem?

Mine does this but also sometimes hedges his bets saying it could this but it might not be??!!! It's got so ridiculous even my dcs have realised and we just look at eachother and laugh!
If I'd have realised at the beginning, I wouldn't have bothered with him and he seems to have got worse as he's got older! I'm sure its to do with low self esteem and looking knowledgeable infront of the dcs BUT it has the opposite effect and none of us trust the info. It's bloody frustrating and yes you lose general trust in that person. Luckily its usually insignificant things but I can see where in some situations it could be quite dangerous.
If you don't know, say that, I have much more respect for people who do that. I certainly wouldn't go into another relationship with someone like that again. Bullshitters.

Yes like @Strawberriesaregreat a side effect of exH doing this was the loss of respect and trust in him over time.

Sounds like you have ‘the ick’ OP. No going back once you get the ick!

I tested this the other day with my forever knowing everything DP.
I told him how I'm attending a conference in Münich on data privacy in October and that the state minister for data privacy will be giving an address.

Oh yea, he said, poor you. That dude is a waste of space and he has no clue about data privacy.

He is a woman.

Fucks sake

Yes I'd dump for this. It's just so unattractive, isn't it? Pretending he knows things in order to massage his own ego. Ugh. As for the posters saying you should stop asking him questions . It's normal conversation - it's not as if the OP is putting him in the Mastermind chair and quizzing him. Man lies in order to make himself sound clever, woman should shut up and lower her expectations. Righto...

Wow. Didn't expect so many responses.

I think I'm very close to the ick now. Going to have a chat and draw a line under this as it's not going to improve.

You’re forgetting, it’s always a woman’s responsibility to fix the faults and failures of a man.