How the f do you meet likeminded people?

[Namechangefeelingdown]

I'm a lone parent. I have a few 'mum friends' who like to go out and have coffees and play dates etc, but really struggling to meet anyone who likes what I like, aka a really bloody good night out dancing all night. I work from home so colleagues live all over the country. I have tried meetup groups (there's only one near me) and that was an epic fail as it was all just really awkward. Bar just going out on my own and hoping I meet someone who will have a dance with me like a massive loser, how do I go about meeting people? It's so hard. I moved cities just before covid hit and now I'm feeling lonely and friendless...

Could you get involved in local stuff, activities and volunteering etc, and join local groups

Also are you sure none of the other mum's like a good night out?

I've messaged on the group chat and inquired but none seem particularly interested. Doesn't even need to be a mum. Happy to dance with dad's too 😂

Do you mind saying what age you are? There is a big drop-off in dancing all night as people get into their 30s, especially once they have children.

I'm 31. I hope to never stop dancing all night 😅

I think your people are rare. I used to LOVE a night out, but the kids have crippled me and I need to be in bed by 9 to function now.

Of all my friends I can only think of 1 or 2 who like a night out now....I guess it picks back up a but when the dc are older, but if they are young everyone is knackered.

I've got no advice I'm sorry, but I really hope you find some people 😘

Ah yes, 31 is still young!

In the short term, if you have childcare, you could tempt your old dancing friends from where you lived before to go to a festival with you? Especially if they are child free. And aim to make a few child free friends where you work too, if the mums are not keen.

People pick up again once their kids get near secondary age or so I found

I completely get this and I think it's list in my blood to want to go out and dance and not get tired. My friends always tell me I'm a 'machine' but I'm just super energetic. I'm not even looking to meet mum friends, or people with kids, I just want to meet people who want to sit in a pub all eve, or dance into the night, etc. I wish I was content with just playdates and soft play.

I have 3 festivals booked but not until July. Cannot bloody wait. Going to one on my own with my son.

Maybe find some more mum friends, ive had some great nights out with mums I've met through the kids

I feel you.
I moved before Covid and just now moved again to a bigger place so I can go out dancing by myself and not be detected as some sort of lone saddo for doing so.

How old is your child? I remember hitting a point where I really wanted to reclaim my social life and when I checked in with what my friends were doing socially (I'd kept seeing them all, just not for the party occasions) a few said something along the lines of "Ah DS must be 3" (and he was), they said that they had been in baby/ toddler bubbles until their kids were about three. Anecdotally my most outgoing friend now is a friend of about 20 years who for the first 6 years of our friendship never wanted to go out drinking because she always had a little one. Your friends will probably come back to you in that way again if you're patient.

Yes he's nearly 4 haha!

I'm in my early 30s and have recently connected with a few people of a similar age who love going out dancing. Before that, I was similar to you, wanting to go out but no one to go out with. I'll happily be going out til I'm in my 80s because why not?

Sorry, I meant to add:
There's hope! I met people on specific music groups. Rock and metal groups on social media. You could do the same for your preferred music. There's also a women's Facebook group in my city and there are always people asking if anyone fancies a night out dancing or cocktails or brunch or whatever. It's worth a try.

Have you thought about a different type of dance, e.g Salsa, Jive? There are lots of clubs with lessons followed by dance nights and you don’t need a partner as the instructors swap you round regularly when you are in the learning phase, and then everyone is there to dance so you will get asked by lots of different people.

We're really not. I'm part of a meetup group and there are regularly 50+ people on big nights out. Most of us don't have kids, but some do. Age range mid 20s - mid 50s.

Trouble is I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than go out dancing all night and I think A LOT of people feel the same once they get into their 30s.

I think the pool is small! I love a night out at the pub, love live music and don't mind a bit of a wiggle if there's a live band but the idea of clubbing now is scary'! I'm 35, I don't own any 'clubbing' clothes anymore and the thought of being in a nightclub with blokes leering all night turns my stomach. Not to mention the hangover in the morning....

This. If people like dancing, they like dancing. You'll meet people then you can see if they want to go dancing somewhere else as well.

TheYearOfSmallThings yes but when kids older and you can get out you def dance all night again.🙂💙

I've been wondering if any of these apps that help people find friends, are any good, or are they just taken over by people wanting a shag? E.g. Bumble, Yubo etc

What about the gym or a gym class?

Very easily:

Meetups
Local Facebook groups about whatever it is you're interested in
Walking groups
Book groups
Volunteer at church or community centre
Get a part-time job