MIL... Need I say more haha

[Mamabear1992]

I'm 20 weeks pregnant and my MIL just sent me a mobility trainer (like a small basic crosstrainer) so I can quote "tone up after the baby's here". I already have a mother I don't have a good relationship with her for various reasons

Aibu to be really offended that she would send this to me??? My husband doesn't understand my issue..

From years of experience of receiving rubbish gifts from family by marriage, just say thanks and get rid of it. You gain nothing by confrontation, especially as DH isn't on the same page.

Well they do say, you can’t pick your family!!
just let it go, most of her generation will be of the same thought, I know my mum is!
I really don’t think they mean it, they just don’t know any better/ different. You can’t teach your grandma to suck eggs and all that!
to keep the peace, use it as a clothes horse as most of the rest of us do.

Can't believe how many people are saying this is a sweet/thoughtful/kind gift.

Unless they have expressed a specific interest, I would say gifting a pregnant woman an exercise machine so they can get into shape post partum is incredibly tactless and offensive.

I'd be too busy laughing about MiL with my DH to bother with being offended.
OP dislikes her MiL - so why would she care what someone she doesn't like thinks o fher, or tries to convey with an awkward gift?

I too would see the funny side (although for context I have a great relationship with my MIL... And she wouldn't have dreamed of buying me a cross trainer or any sort of exercise equipment whilst I was pregnant or post partum to help me back into shape).

My comment was more in response to PP who have said this was a kind/thoughtful gift. If 'MIL' was replaced with 'DH' I imagine it would have elicited a different response...

Hmmm... could be seen either way tbh. If you don't get on, might be PA. If you do- might be an awkward attempt to get something for you not for the "baby" or you as "mummy".

Even if it's meant nicely I live in a flat with not much storage space, so I really dislike having big items dumped on gifted to me with no discussion etc prior. Prior discussion is usually me rejecting such items as a nuisance & thief of floor space. So that as a gift would piss me right off. I don't think presents like that are ever perceived as nicely intended either!

If you're very brave/nothing to lose ask her where is she thinking you'll keep it? Stress that your interpretation and hers on this may differ as your idea of where it would best be stored would involve her not being able to sit down and the sun never coming out ever again.

My mil bought me a size 8 waist slip for my birthday.
I was 34 weeks pregnant!

I think its a perfect excuse to buy her something equally thoughtful for her birthday 😈

Sell it on, OP, and use the money for something useful or something you'd like. Do that with any gift you consider inappropriate. 🌹

@Mamabear1992
MIL... Need I say more haha
Casual sexist clickbait title directed at elderly women. imagine inserting another stereo typed group based on race or sexual orientation into the title in place of 'MIL'.
I thought this kind of casual sexist comment went out with Les Dawson.
Lazy and sexist

I do wonder about the posters on here sometimes. What kind of person thinks it’s a good idea to buy (unrequested) exercise equipment for a pregnant woman and makes a comment about it being for them to tone up after they give birth? I don’t care if it came from a MIL, a mother, a sister or a DP. It’s thoughtless at best and the opposite of kind.

The title didn't sit well with me either.

Posters saying this was a kind gift are staggeringly naïve, especially in light of the OP's subsequent post about her MIL's general attitudes. Though it was obvious before that tbh.

My MIL said to me in a loud voice 3 weeks post partum, why don't you go over there and stand next to that woman and then you will look thin in comparison?

I think the other poor woman heard her while I was dying of fury.

Yep, same here

Your MIL sounds scarily familiar. They buy you gifts but with an underlying meaning. A gift seemingly useful to a casual observer, but you know what the real motivation is behind it. She's probably old-fashioned and thinks it's every woman's duty to look as perfect as possible for her man.

😂

Misguided but kind is my Mam buying nice face cream once I hit 30 (she'd have loved this sort thing, she knew I was broke, and felt like I deserved a treat). I still don't use this sort of thing 20 years later.

This is actually mean spirited and calculated to give your self-esteem a good kick.