MIL... Need I say more haha

[Mamabear1992]

I'm 20 weeks pregnant and my MIL just sent me a mobility trainer (like a small basic crosstrainer) so I can quote "tone up after the baby's here". I already have a mother I don't have a good relationship with her for various reasons

Aibu to be really offended that she would send this to me??? My husband doesn't understand my issue..

Sweet!! Are you joking i cannot imagine a scenario where i would buy unasked for exercise equipment for another person ....i think its very rude and nearer agressive than passive aggressive!
Dont let it in the house, either return to sender or drop it off at hers if shes so keen ...

I am puzzled about why anyone would think this was ok....

Unless you have a shared interest in fitness, this is unbelievably rude.

I’m a proper healthy eating person but this would make me want to eBay it and buy chocolate.

Why is OP offended?

Because she is at the very beginning of her new life as a mum and us already being told she needs to get 'back in trim' once the baby has been born.

Lose the baby weight before she is even really showing! Such a poisonous message.

FFS!

The fact I have 3 sons terrifies me sometimes.

Why? Are you planning on making your son's partners feel like unecessary appendages to your life?

Because most MILs don't get a thread, because most are normal, nice people. It's only the batshit ones that get a thread, because here is safely anonymous!

This ^

Sell it or return it for a voucher - use it for something else.

I'd return it. These things can be bulky, plus what form of exercise, if any, YOU choose to do post birth is not her business in the slightest.

It's cheeky and you do not have to keep it, and the fact that your DH doesn't see the issue is even more of a worry!

Get it gone!!

Is she always this pushy?

Like other posters I cannot see what is kind and thoughtful about this. It's plain rude as the assumption is that the OP will need (in MILs view) to get fit (read thinner) following giving birth.

Many women do not need to 'get back into shape' they naturally do, esp if breast feeding.

If OP had expressed concern about weight gain/ getting back in shape then, yes, with discussion it's nice and supportive. In this context it smacks of already thinking the OP is looking weighty and sending the message that the OP needs to get fit/on a diet assp after giving birth. It is thoughtless.

This 🤣🤣🤣

I would love this. If it's a gift, it's yours so I would sell it. If she ever mentioned it I would tell her that I gave it away as I didn't need it and it was taking up space.

Haha I would love to see the look on her face.

Can you call the courier and ask them to come and collect it?

Either that or take it to her house and tell her to shove it up her cheeky arse return it.

If you don't stand up for yourself now, you watc what's coming once her GC is here!!

Sell it and use the cash to buy something nice for yourself - a day at a sauna maybe

We need the backstory and to know the dynamic between you and MiL to know whether she WBU

If she knows you love exercise but are worried you wont have time after the baby, if she is normally kind and generous then YABU

If she is always making little digs about your appearance and is generally passive aggressive then YANBU

I’m sorry but anyone who thinks this is kind honestly baffles me! What a weird and insensitive thing to send your DIL when she’s pregnant. I’ve just had a baby and if someone sent me exercise equipment and said it’s to tone up because I’ve just had a baby I’d probably cry for days. Baby is priority, not getting your waist back. YANBU OP.

I am 6 weeks PP and would love that! I don't have time to go to the gym with feeding all the time... I think it's a lovely present to be honest

She's racist and homophobic so I'd say I definitely have more to get irritated and upset by than this "gift". One close family member is Italian and during old Nigel Farage's last go at becoming PM she decorated her house in the ukip flags, got her husband to wear a ukip tie etc.. She is a pro brexit (each to their own but don't shove down people's throats) racist 70-something out-of-touch with the generation of today type person. She doesn't believe in BLM. Doesn't believe in mental health. Doesn't believe words can hurt people alongside actions. You name it, she's done it better than you have!
She's exhausting.

She's made comments on my weight before pre-baby. She once told me I wasn't as big as when I was last at her house..... How lovely. I'm a healthy weight and size and I live well. She has diabetes and is frail beyond her years. Yet I don't comment on her (until this post LOL) as my life is incredible and hers isn't.

This is just a step too far. I wonder what she's said to my DH, as he's acting like I should be grateful?? Grrrr

I actually think its quite thoughtful and would've loved to get that as a gift.

Congratuations on finally giving birth to your dripfeed OP, it's a healthy, bouncing 9 pounder.

😁

I think things like this are an insensitive gift to buy for anyone. It implies a personal comment on their appearance, so not a good gift whoever bought it.

If I wanted excercise equipment I would choose and buy it for myself but I wouldn't want it from anyone else. It is a very personal item.

Can’t believe the responses you’re getting
sell it, buy something nice
or regift it to her for her bday

you’re not going to change her at this point, just minimise things as much as you can
my MIL is the same, she’s just showing she cares and she worries about me, by telling me I’m fat and commenting about any and all food she sees me eat. It’s draining.

i also have all boys, I don’t worry about being the MIL because I won’t be a bitch whilst feigning innocence.

Is if you’d have time for that! I certainly didn’t, I had a baby that didn’t sleep and if someone thought I had time to pop in the cross trainer, they’d have been very mistaken.

This. ^

This is genius. Say it with a big smile as if she cannot possibly want anything else.