Do you think that £60 maintenance per week is adequate

[nelittled]

To pay RP. Spends eow with MRP and some evenings per week and a few weeks holidays per year.
Not in UK and child has mild SN.
RP In receipt of approx £280 per month for sn support, a grant of £1600 per year, approx £190 per week as carers payment , free medical card and contributions to electric/ fuel. Free tv licence, housed by council, free breakfast club, book rental and wraparound care and free transport.

Child is mostly independent and attends mainstream school full time .
No private therapies to pay for as none needed.

How is the RP getting £190 a week carer's money?

I have a seriously disabled child and get the standard £69.

Where are you getting the £190 a week for mild SN from?

OP says clearly in the first post Not in UK.

@SofiaSoFar Aah! Thanks for that, half asleep!

What country is so generous to carer's? I might move!

So you want to spend 80% of your income on yourself and 20% on your child? And you can’t see an issue with that.

Depends which country. 60 quid goes a lot further in Kenya or Thailand than it does in Sweden or Japan. I’m guessing with the EOW arrangement then the child is not a long distance away. So we are talking about a European country and the child flies back and forth to the UK? Or are you both located in the non-UK country?

I spend 80% on my private rent, bills, car loan, food and clothes for myself and my other kids.
I pay half presents and big expenses for my child also.

So you want to pay the minimum possible to support your child? Great parenting!

Yes

@DreamingofTimbuktu where did you get that impression from?

Are you trying to tell us that you are finding it hard to pay????

So you think 60 a week is adequate? How much have you spent on yourself today?

RP's income and working status is irrelevant. They do more childcare than you so probably have to work around that, so the snidey comment about working part time as a "lifestyle choice" is unnecessary. How about you do 50% of childcare so RP can work full time?

I do think yay £60 is adequate but ex doesn't

Is this a reverse?

So your take home is £1300 a month, of which you pay £260 a month maintenance.
Leaves £1040pm.

RP gets carers £190 a week -> £9880 pa
Grant £1600pa
SN £280 pm -> £3360pa
Maintenance £60pw -> £3120pa
Gives £17960pa -> £1496pm.

So does your SN child reasonably cost no more than £416 a month in total? That includes a bedroom, childcare, food, transport stuff for her SN? (I have a mildly SN dd - her SN costs me in time and expenses every day that my non SN younger ds does not).

Clearly you are on a low wage - but your child's RP presumably has no wage and is relying on benefits to support their life and your child. At some point your child will presumably be independant at which point your child's other parent is 8/12/18+ years behind you in career. Without knowing your country - what support will there be available to them then or in retirement?

I think based on your income you are paying a reasonable amount. But the support system in your country could alter my view.

It sounds like your wage is low. You can only pay what you can afford to pay I suppose.

If £60 per week is 20% of your salary then you are either working part time or are being paid under the national minimum wage.

Why are you earning so little?

On the information you have given it’s impossible to say whether this is an adequate amount.

the information you have given makes it clear that you resent paying, and think that the state should pay. That’s the real issue here. Why do you think you shouldn’t contribute fairly to your child. Why do you think they should have the bare minimum in life rather than a full and happy life

Take home pay for a 40 hour week on minimum wage is about £320 so around £60 is correct.

You don't know what the NMW is, or if it even exists!

Oh yeah, OP isn't in the UK, missed that bit. So who knows if there is a minumum wage.

Do you cover 50% of child care costs, including on days off school, sick days, and school holidays so that the child’s parent can work full time? In my country that is a legal requirement and then you pay maintenance on top of that.

20% of your wage would be classed as enough in the UK.

Nobody here can comment because you've not named the country so we can't make guesses about the cost of living of where your son lives.

You seem focused on the child's SEN being very 'mild', yet they still seem to quality for a decent amount of state support?

I dont know where the child lives and what living costs are like, but 20% of your salary seems not too low to me.

I get £35pw child maintenance for two children with additional needs, and we manage, so £60pw would be 'enough' in my circumstances.