AIBU to think parents should stop being put off a name because it's popular?

[GreatStuff67]

I feel like I've read a lot of posts recently where parents are trying to decide on a name for their baby but the name they like best is popular and so they're unsure about using it. When I was at school we had multiple kids with the same name (myself included) and no one seemed to care if they shared their name with anyone else. When did popular start being a bad thing for a name? Am I being a grumpy git or are other people thinking 'Who cares if it's a popular name. If you like it, use it!'?

Before I got pregnant we wanted to call our child Emily or Jack but when I got pregnant I didn’t want them to have a very popular name. I didn’t want them to Emily S/Jack S. We didn’t know what surname they’d have (I didn’t take DH’s name) but both our surnames start with the same letter but it’s a common letter for a surname so there could be another Emily S/Jack S in their class. My surname is super common, DH’s surname is awful and we were debating hyphenating (which we did) so we didn’t want them being full named because there was another Emily S/Jack S.

DD doesn’t have a unique name. Not popular doesn’t have to be unique. Her name is a traditional name that people will have come across and be familiar with but I don’t think it’s ever been so popular that there have been 5 in a class. There’s no predicting the future and it could rise in popularity out of nowhere but it’s not similar to the names currently fashionable.

There are pros and cons. I have a normal first name, but it isn’t very popular, same with my surname (although my surname is probably more uncommon). I love being able to have my own email address without it being ‘frenchyfrog21344’, but equally, I am easily googleable. In the age of internet and social media, i somethings think the ‘John smiths’ might have it better!

My sister had one of the most popular girls names in the year she was born - there were 5 girls with the name in her class at school, she has always worked with at least one other person with the same name and she hates it! It's a lovely name so I can see why so many people chose it, but her experience made me make sure I picked names that weren't in the top 20 for my children.

I don't think YABU, some people may not mind (DH also has a very popular for it's time name and it's never bothered him) but others do - but I agree deliberately 'yooneeq' names or spellings aren't great either, no one wants to be explaining or spelling their name all the time!

I think it's a bit surname dependent. If you have a common surname you probably wany to make sure child won't be one of two with the exact same name. For example, there were 3 boys called Richard Lewis in my (Welsh) form in secondary school. I gave DD1 a common name but she still has to go by first name Br because there are two first name Bs in her reception class, so DD2 has a less common name

For me it's because I was Toast X in every single social situation until I joined work. For a period of time, I wasn't even the only Toast X! There was always someone with my name in every school year, club, at university and I think it would have been nice to have less popular name so that I didn't have to constantly share my name. That's why I've scratched Alice from my list, even though I like the name. I still think it's a lovely name, but there are other lovely names outside of the top 200 as well.

Also, whilst you’re at school with5 other people of the same name, it’s just a short time in the grand scheme of things. When you start uni, work , etc, you will meet people of all generations and nationalities, so a common name won’t be as common for the longest period of your life

Or you go to work and find that popular names are still popular. I've been in meetings of 10-15 people with four Daves before. I know an Alex who never shared their name at school, but went to work and joined a team of three Alexes.

And it's short time, but a formative one and one that you have no experience outside of while you are there. I don't work with anyone with my name, but until then I was always with at least one other person with my name and I didn't enjoy that. That it was a relatively short period of my life doesn't change that/

My youngest was the only one of his ( fairly common) name in a school of 450 children. We then moved and he joined a small village school with just three other boys in his year, two of them had the same name as him! It's just the luck of the draw whether you share a name with class mates or not!

I understand why some parents don't want popular names for their child or children. In my secondary school class (not even year group) we had 3 boys called James and 3 boys called Ryan. Across the rest of the year group we had at least 2 other James' too that I can remember off of the top of my head and multiple Michaels. They were each known as "James M" or "Michael G" throughout the 5 years we were at school together.

I also come from a family where everyone seems to names their kids after someone in the immediate family so everyone ends up as "Peter Junior" or "little William" for example. Having a name that you didn't share with an uncle, cousin, parent or grandparent was a rare commodity! Some people wouldn't mind this, but I would and i'm grateful that although I don't have a unique or unusual name, I wont forever be known as "little Whopbamboom" within the family.

Not wanting a popular name doesn't mean you're automatically going to choose something ridiculous instead. There is a middle ground. Trends and fashions change and unpopular names can suddenly surge in popularity but you can only work with the information you have at the time.

I think there's a happy medium between Evie and Deyzi.

There are loads of names that are well known but you don't run the risk of everyone else having the same name.

It definitely depends on how common your surname is. My maiden name was quite unusual; my married name is one of the most common in the UK. When my husband went to uni, he shared a first name and surname with two others at his bank branch. One of them has the same date of birth. If he'd had a lesson common first name that probably wouldn't have happened.

DD has an unusual name to avoid being one of many Olivia Jones/Amelia Smith/Emily Brown.

Unwittingly we gave our eldest child a name that ended up being ridiculously popular in his birth year so he spent his school life being 'First Name Surname Initial'. He has a Sam-Joe-Tom type first name (but not Sam or Joe or Tom) and we have a fairly common surname too.

I still don't regret his name and I don't think it bothers him either.

I can understand parents wanting to avoid top 10 baby names BUT I genuinely think the worst thing a parent can do is inflict a 'younique' name or spelling on a child. And the sad reality is that many 'unique' names are often an indication of a parent who is poorly educated/of low intelligence/struggles to cope with life generally....and even though they shouldn't, people will judge.

It's probably better be a Tom S or a Lily J than a Riely or a Klowee-Rows. Sadly, the Toms and Lilys will probably have better life chances overall.

my sibling and I had very popular names at the time. We hated it as we was always known as our name followed by surname initial. My sibling had 7 other kids in their class with the same name at secondary school!

I always said I didn’t want any children I may have being known as their name followed by surname initial where possible so would keep away from popular names. I have a son and picked a name I loved that is just a normal name - not made up or where people think what was the parents thinking! In 12 years we have only ever heard another child with the same name 4 times. I have noticed it’s starting to climb the charts and is mentioned a lot now on name boards but still happy with my choice.

Another who has lived nearly 6 decades without ever being the only one with my name anywhere I go.
I definitely chose "names that were less popular" for my dc.

My name is known but has never been popular, people struggle to spell it, but I love it. I get so many compliments on my name, I can see why people are looking for something that stands out rather than their child being 'another (boring x name)'.

As someone with the most common name for women my age and the 5 years either side, I have always studied and worked with others, including same first and surname combo. It's a nice name but I didn't like being one of many and having to be full name the time.

I gave DD a well known but not well used name with a normal spelling. There is a happy medium

Agree to an extent but then when someone introduces their baby to me as "Ella Rose" or "Sophia Grace" I think really?! Out of ALL the names in the World, they are just so generic sounding.

I wonder how many Claire's are on this thread. There were so many Claire's at school and three in my team at work.

I'm one of the 'I hate popular names' people. I just don't want there to be multiple of the same name in their class that's all. Saying that I don't want completely obscure either! Naming kids is hard.

We all have different tastes, it’s not that I wouldn’t pick a top 10 name but they are just all very mehh to me, so I can’t really answer why people that love them don’t use them as I don’t love them at all, a bit like the poster above, I just feel the generic names fall a bit flat to me, but I understand that’s personal choice

My DS1 has a very popular name yet he was the only one with it at nursery and now at his school with 90 in his year group.

DS2 way less popular name and there’s 3 in his nursery!!!!!!

YANBU I don't get it either.

Dd's name wasn't in the top 150. DS's name was 2nd. We picked them 'cos we liked them and that was it. We've not actually come across many with the same name as DS yet, of his age anyway.

My name was unusual (aka old fashioned) when I was at school and I hated it. I still hate it now. Was always dying to be a Sarah or a Claire!

DDs only complaint is that there's never anything at the seaside with her name on 😂

I work with 3 Grahams, 4 Daves, 2 James, 2 Garrys, 4 Phils (yes completely male dominated). Do you think in 10yrs time they will be all Arlos, Islas, Ellies, Jacks, Hugos? Probably! I just think names are popular for a time (Peter was very popular, loads in my era, not known any at nursery). There are some names that are popular but classic (as in up and down in the years but well known), and those which are definitely of a time (unusual but popular for that decade).

I love names. I am baffled by people who don't really seem to put much thought into naming a child. Why would you want your child to have the same name as everyone else? But then I think a lot of the parents I see are the same with clothes, cars and house decoration.

Yabu. Almost all my dds friends are named a variant of Eve so confusing. There are so many lovely names why do people gravitate to the same 10 names?