house too big, your best tips

[sunshineapples]

Will preface this message with I appreciate lots of people will criticise me for complaining. We used to live in a two bed flat which was super easy to clean and maintain. Have now moved to a four bed house and honestly it just feels unmanageable. I feel like am constantly trying to clean it and things always keep going wrong. Both of us have full time jobs and a toddler. In theory, the house is great - we can work from home and have room. But it feels like we're never on top of any of it. It now feels like am permanently either working, looking after DC or sorting out the house and none of it feels good enough.

How much time does everyone else spend on sorting it all out - if it's not a broken toilet, it's the dishwasher, or the garden or the dusting. There is always something to do and it all seems to cost so much money.

DH does lots of it as well so we do share the load and am not sure why we are struggling. I don't even enjoy the space because all I see is yet more chores. Does anyone have any tips for keeping a big house tidy or at least presentable? I just feel totally overwhelmed and tired and wishing we were back in our small flat

Re dust, I hate to say it but you could try keeping your windows closed more. We're in the city suburbs and there is a layer of dust on everything after just 2 or 3 days with the windows open most of the day (which I prefer, for freshness). But god, the grime....I always imagine the countryside air to contain less dust but maybe there are still particles in the air only it's more pollen or soil blown in the wind etc.

oh the dust is terrible. we live near a major road and it just gets everywhere all of the time. same with hoovering. also how do people make sure there isnt toothpaste everywhere all of the time. DH and DC just dont notice. I end up cleaning the bathroom what seems like every other day

We moved from a small 2-bed terrace to a 4-bed detached house. I love the space and, most importantly, the lack of shared party walls. But it is a full time job on top of my full time job keeping on top of it (and DH does his 50% of chores).
We're always cleaning, replacing something, fixing something, repainting chipped woodwork, weeding the garden, trimming trees, driving to the tip.
I've been ruthlessly decluttering for 4 years and have got rid of at least half of everything that we used to own, which makes it easier - everything has its place. We've also made our garden as low maintenance as possible (evergreen plants and perennials that don't need dead heading etc).
My only advice is to keep on top of it every day by doing small chores. I've found I get on better if, rather than cleaning one room in its entirety at a time, I instead do chores in a production-line style. So for instance, in the morning I walk around every room with a feather duster and remove cobwebs. Then in the afternoon I walk around every room and polish all wooden surfaces. The next day it's cleaning all mirrors and pictures with glass cleaner etc etc.

@sunshineapples - if the dishwasher is broken, is it fixable rather than replaceable? It slightly depends on the make, but it’s less to spend, less hassle, and one less thing going to landfill.

Id also suggest a ruthless declutter and some serious storage, especially for toys. Those IKEA storage cube thingys are great for kids. Start the DC off young in tidying up in a way they can do.

Someone mentioned how difficult townhouses are to live in. I agree. It doesn’t help living on so many levels.

Not sure if it’s been mentioned already, but try The Organised Mum method. There is an app and Facebook page, and it breaks things down into daily jobs. It really works for me (when I do it!)

You are putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. Working full time and with a toddler you aren't going to have much rime in the evenings to do much other than feed toddler, do storytime, bath and bed. I would just spend evenings doing just that and showing dishes in the dishwasher (once it is fixed) and a quick wipe down of the kitchen. If you are out of the house all day it shouldn't need much tidying. The toddler will make mess, they just do but if it is a 4 bed house and you are only using two bedrooms one can be used as a playroom (unless you have a separate one?) and all toys can be kept there. Ikea have loads of good storage solutions so toddlers toys can be tidied away but the room can still look nice. Dusting can be done once a week and if you are doing it regularly won't take long. You or your partner shoves the laundry on as soon as you get in and the other person sticks it in the dryer if you have one or hangs itto dry. Hoover the rooms you use and the others once a week. I'd be taking turns to do bedtime with the toddler so the other person can run the hoover around and by that I really do mean a quick hoover, shouldn't take longer than 10 minutes, you don't need to move furniture, a deeper clean can be done on the weekends every fortnight or so.

I have a 4 bed house but don't know if it is as big as yours. I manage to keep on top of it with two kids a baby and a part time job but I work quickly. It's never going to be showhome standard but is clean. The key at least for me
is being organised, having a partner who sees what needs to be done and doesn't need tell ing and prioritising.

It's very hard to keep on top of everything whilst working full time and having a little one as you'll be tired in the evenings too but if you get used to speeding things up and working quickly it does get easier, working as a team helps too.

Try the organised mum method app

I hate the name but it does work

We found storage was our downfall... we are working on each month getting storage for each room to put the 'stuff' I then rotate what I do
So I do the house on a two week cycle (but I tidy up as I go)
Week 1
Monday - deep clean kitchen
Wednesday - Hoover/Mop
Friday - Dust
Week 2
Monday - Change bedding
Wednesday - Garden (Mow Lawn)
Friday - deep clean bathrooms

I put bleach down the toilet every evening and wipe the kitchen surface of crumbs every night

I put the washer machine and dishwasher on every evening and let them run over night, this then lets me empty then first thing and Bob cloths in the dryer or on the line ... which then that evening I put the clothes all away (we only iron school stuff)

My tip is get a cleaner. I’ve put it off for years, but I’m working 6 days a week at the moment, kids dad working overseas so for me to do everything!! £30 a week, worth every Penny. A good friend does it too

I just couldn’t have a cleaner.
I’d clean before they came!

No tips as we are renovating a big house and it's chaos. I suppose the perk is enough spare rooms to hide all the crap in. We are using two of the bedrooms as workshops and the study and garage as storage. Only things that are needed and have a place are out in the lived in rooms. We need a cleaner really, and a gardener, but with everything costing a fortune I don't know if it's a good idea.

With our house it’s definitely the combination of STUFF + lack of dedicated space to put it. Pre-DP I had hardly any stuff but he’s a dedicated acquirer of things: we’ve got 17 bags for life whereas before I had one; an entire medicine cabinet with things like rolls of bandages and three types of antiseptic, whereas before, a single box of plasters.

I did manage to whittle him down from 5 guitars to 1. (He can’t play guitar nor does he have any intention of learning; they just sit there, being dusty.)

The trouble with trying to declutter though when you have a toddler is TIME. I’m doing a drawer at a time. There’s no time to do the Marie Kondo thing of gathering everything in the house that’s the same and sorting through it en masse: pick a square foot or drawer or cupboard and sort it.

Then lower standards or get a cleaner.

But houses do take maintenance: they’re never “done”. By the time you get to the bottom of the to-do list of things to fix and resolve, new stuff has cropped up. It’s relentless.

I live in a small 2 bed with baby and toddler. I feel like i can barely manage this so know itd be worse somewhere bigger. But what does help is decluttering. I declutter all the time. No rubbish laying around. Broken? Gone. Not used for a while? Gone. Rubbish? Outgrown? Gone. Be ruthless. It makes things much easier. And have a home for everything and keep it there. Then when it comes to cleaning just 5 mins in each room a day. Even if just tidying and vacuum, makes a huge difference. Never leave a room empty handed. Let the kids make a mess with their toys then at the end of the day, if they aren't overwhelmed with thousands of toys it takes less than 5 mins to put away.

Me and DH work full time but our DC is a lot older than yours, we have cats though so dust is significant. The only thing I outsource is ironing sheets/duvet covers. Sympathies re all the costly outgoings, it’s often like this when you move and uncover all the stuff that needs replacing. It should then calm down.

The things that I do to keep workload down and my mental health intact while spending minimum are:

• Ruthless declutter. Charity shop everything inc toddlers stuff as soon as it’s no longer used. Kids have way too much stuff these days, they don’t need it and it’s overwhelming.
• Be a minimalist. Limit shelving and storage to minimise dusting and collections of stuff.
• Keep doors shut on rooms not used.
• Do the cleaning / tidying over several days / evenings. We dust Weds, clean kitchen and downstairs loo Thur, upstairs bathrooms and hoover/mop Fri, bed linen Sat. Garden and hoover again Sunday. It means no more than an hour each day.
• Our ovens have self clean feature which is brilliant as it all burns off.
• Uncomplicated eating. Unless you enjoy it don’t put yourselves through complex recipes.
• If I could be bothered I’d get a deep clean every month but to be honest we’re pretty on top of it all.

Storage and tidy ness works for me - 3 bed house but large living space
everything has a place and gets put straight away
I hate cleaning so do as little as possible but others tell me my house always looks clean (it’s not but being tidy creates an illusion)
wish I had the answer for all the DIY though I’m not great at it and can’t afford to pay others without saving for ages

The town houses I’ve been in are great for giving extra rooms but the storage space is always minimal so getting some units to put toys and belongings in is really useful. Declutter every few months if you can.
Invest in a feather duster: a quick zip round with this every couple of days will keep dust down and once a week use polish/duster.
Keep a sponge/cloth handy for the bathroom and give the sink a wipe down once a day.
Doing little bits often will help.
A robot vac could be a good investment for you.
A toothpaste dispenser may help with containing it? Keeping mouths closed when brushing and quickly rinsing sink afterwards should help. Not easy with children and some adults 😉

It's hard to get anything done with toddlers, they need you all the time. It wi get easier when the toddler gets a bit older. You also mention working from home which likely means more lunches and coffees so your kitchen gets messier more often but is also handy because you can tick off some jobs like loading the washing machine etc. Think about routines and share out the dailyjobs.

Make a list of the bigger diy jobs and make a plan. My dh is pretty good at diy but will often take some leave ( for larger jobs) in order to fit it in while we are at work / school or away because it's easier without family life interrupting every 5 mins. We do decorating in short bursts, usually in the evenings once the kids are in bed.

I feel the same with the clutter and stuff. We do have a cleaner once a week, but I never feel that it’s tidy enough.

We don’t have family nearby that can just keep an eye on DS or take him out while we have a sort out, so it ends up taking twice as long.

Working from home helps with the day to day, ie using 10 mins of my lunch break to sort laundry or do the dishwasher. But we never get chunks of time to do bigger sorting out jobs.

We’re in a new build so at least we don’t have the maintenance issue, although we are still decorating.

Offer your home to a Ukrainian family . !

Get. A. Cleaner.
Honestly, they are not overly expensive and it's amazing having that extra help.
I previously lived in a three storey Victorian house where I was working full time and helping DH get his business started up so we were exhausted and the house was getting on top of us. We paid £20 a week and the way I saw it was we were buying ourselves time.

This might be awful but we don't really tidy up behind the toddler until she's in bed. Obviously things like crayons, paint and playdoh go away but toys generally stay where she's put them during the day. We tidy all her toys up in one hit, which doesn't take that long, when she's safely asleep, and not making any more mess and I can build her a block tower for the morning without her trying to tell me how to do it and knocking it over before I've finished anyway. I take the view that it doesn't really matter if the living room floor is covered in her blocks all afternoon!

Deep clean each room once a month and do a little quick flit round in the other rooms, quick hoover, dust or tidy as needed.

We were like you, went from a lovely 2 bed flat to a 5 bed townhouse with garden. At that stage we didn’t have kids, but decided to leapfrog the 3 bed house.

the answer for us is a cleaner once a week and a reliable handyman who can come and blitz all the fiddly, crappy jobs for around £30 an hour plus parts. Totally worth it.

now we both work full time, DH has two jobs (by choice not necessity), two tweens, two cats and a dog. Also have a babysitter who picks up kids and runs them to clubs, stacks dishwasher and bungs on the washing machine.

the house is still an endless shit tip, stuff still is broken, I never iron. In fact generally I ignore stuff in the evening and blitz it in the morning…I have quite basic standards!!