house too big, your best tips

[sunshineapples]

Will preface this message with I appreciate lots of people will criticise me for complaining. We used to live in a two bed flat which was super easy to clean and maintain. Have now moved to a four bed house and honestly it just feels unmanageable. I feel like am constantly trying to clean it and things always keep going wrong. Both of us have full time jobs and a toddler. In theory, the house is great - we can work from home and have room. But it feels like we're never on top of any of it. It now feels like am permanently either working, looking after DC or sorting out the house and none of it feels good enough.

How much time does everyone else spend on sorting it all out - if it's not a broken toilet, it's the dishwasher, or the garden or the dusting. There is always something to do and it all seems to cost so much money.

DH does lots of it as well so we do share the load and am not sure why we are struggling. I don't even enjoy the space because all I see is yet more chores. Does anyone have any tips for keeping a big house tidy or at least presentable? I just feel totally overwhelmed and tired and wishing we were back in our small flat

I thought a house was just a place to live not something that you constantly have to work at

Ime the opposite is true & the bigger the house the bigger the maintenance

Or get a cleaner for 2 hours a week & do 2 hours yourself?

I love your preface…I definitely said (in my head, I’m not weird - much) ‘there’s always one’ after I read your heading. Not because I have an issue lol, but because I knew there would be abuse flying.

that’s all I have to say, I have a 3 bed and I don’t clean it enough I suspect so I’m probably not someone who can give advice

Storage- make sure this is well
thought out, functional and totally fit for purpose. Go rooM by room and really think about how you use it, what you need in there.

For example-
In dds room her bottom drawer is full of her bedding, makes it easy to change it.

the play room- we have a chest of drawers with drawer inlays for all the art/craft stuff. It’s all stuffed With crap I don’t want to see. Looks nice. And tidy.

we have a bag tidy/bench type thing in the entrance hall and so that keeps everything there handy when we come in/out.

washing. Put a load on overnight. Hang out in the morning. Do this every other day and you’ll keep on top of it.

load the dishwasher put on overnight. Unload first thing. Wipe down the kitchen as soon as the last meal is done and go to bed to a clean kitchen wake up.

what can you do the night before? at our clothes, pack bags/lunches

meal plan and delivery shop. Don’t deviate too much as it costs time!

steam mop- fast and quick drying
hoover- once a week
dusting- sorry what? 😂

It’s just constant.

I think the only thing you can do is prioritise - know what needs doing daily, what’s urgent and what things you need to get ahead with before they become urgent.

Declutter constantly - never put the laundry away without casting your eye into the back of drawers and wardrobes for the things that aren’t worn regularly or are outgrown.

Simplify whatever you can to make cleaning easier. A robot vacuum is great - Black Friday sales are the time to catch a bargain.

I’d recommend the following books
the lazy genius
How to manage your home without losing your mind
The house that cleans itself

Things expand to fit the available space. I'd start with a ruthless declutter.

Also meant to say, we also moved from a modern 2 bed flat. Could clean and tidy the whole place in about half an hour.

We're thinking of moving and I'm seriously considering downsizing. Maybe not a flat but certainly a smaller house.

But it isn’t really more rooms you use? You still actively only use two bedrooms a kitchen a loo and a living room, maybe a home office? The other rooms you don’t use you shouldn’t need to do much to.

it shouldn’t be much more work? So have you developed more clutter? The garden is additional work.

Is the main issue all the stuff breaking?

I live just me and my daughter in a 3 bed and often long for somewhere smaller - as you say, once one thing is sorted there’s immediately something else pops up. There’s always decluttering to do and tidying - and I have a cleaner so it’s not even that…

Just shut off the east wing.

I could have written your post. I look at rightmove for houses I can downsize to. But I've come to the conclusion that it's not that the house isn't the right size for us because I would feel it was perfect if it was lovely and tidy and clean all the time. It's the lack of time to keep it that way. With the cost of living ever increasing all families will have 2 full time working parents soon enough and we'll all be living in shitholes as we will be too short of time or too knackered to keep it nice.

So my solution is to just ignore all the instagram home/cleaning obsessives who must spend all day cleaning and tidying because otherwise they make me feel like shit. And we've really lowered our standards.

Robotic vacuum cleaner, on a timer every night

I agree, sort out clutter.

It is relentless though, there's always something to do especially with maintenance upkeep.

And it's not only that - getting maintenance jobs done is a nightmare whhwen you're both working fulltime. Can't get a roofer for love nor money unless you want a full reroof. So many tradespeople say they'll turn up at a certain time then they just don't bother. It's far too stressful trying to fit it in round work commitments so we just ignore issues. No doubt that will bring us bigger problems down the line but by then we'll be retired or part time and at least we'll be at home to phone round/be here for these tradesment to actually do the work!

What I'd love is a home owner's "property manager" type of service. Like you'd have with a landlord. So just one number you could ring and say "My roof's leaking, can you sort it please" or "bathroom tap neeeds replacing, please".

Hire a cleaner once a week. That bit sorted you can focus on all else.

She’s already said she can’t afford one.

😂

Felt like this for a long time then downsized. Ignore the rooms you aren’t using - air them but do nothing else. Person wfh cleans the home office at the end of the week.

Oh and let people know you don't want "stuff" for birthdays and Christmas, thankyou. So mmuch of our clutter is just things that we haven't brought into the house ourselves. So multiple candles (I don't use them), or other decorateive items whch wouldn't be my choice for our decor. MIL is the worst for that, it's quantity over quality usually, but she means well. She has bought us random towel sets in the past which don't go with our bathroom. Stuff like wind chimes for the garden. A set of suitcases. Just things you have to find a home for. After a few years you look round and your house is just full of stuff that you don't really need, is not really your taste but you feel too guilty to chuck out as it was given with love and they meant well. What I'd really like is vouchers so I could put them together and buy a bigger or more expensive item like perfume that I actually NEED. Or failing that a nice bottle of wine that once you've drunk it just goes to recycling, and the same with a box of chocolates. So you get the enjoyment but it's doesn't just fill up the house for years to come.

We just need to all cut back on consumerism and our houses would be easier to manage.

Well I must be slovenly…I have a four bedroom house and I certainly don’t spend hours cleaning! Bedrooms get quick dust and hoover once a week.Takes about 10 mins per room .
Kitchen I tidy and clean after food prep . Kitchen and bathroom cleaned properly once a week..if I can be bothered. It takes about 15 mins bathroom and kitchen 30 mins .
Toys are put away at the end of the day .
Conservatory which is used every day is wiped down and cobwebs are got rid of when I notice one .
I genuinely wonder what else I should be doing 😳

Will check out the robot cleaners. Are they noisy at night? Do you let them run on a different floor each night? We live in a townhouse i.e. lots of stairs and things are all on different floors.

I think it's also the fact that the toddler just throws stuff everywhere, so am constantly tidying up behind them so the cleaning part just seems even more of a chore.

Let alone everything breaking down - all the time. So we spend lots of time trying to learn about which ever new bit of something or other has stopped working and then most of the time still end up getting someone to come in and fix it. By now we must have spent at least 10k since July on basic maintenance.

How do people do it

Op I have moved into bigger and bigger houses over the years the more children I’ve had so I know exactly how you feel.

I live in a 6 bed at the moment with 3 reception rooms (8 kids!) and my house is always clean but there’s always washing to be put away, sometimes toys out and and arts and crafts on the table.

For me, it’s become one of my top priorities, and that’s not really a good thing. I follow the organised mum method and it keeps everything ticking over.

The only thing I would say is that in bigger house there is always something that needs doing like the garden or some kind of diy and I think that’s just part of it. Our house is 150 years old and while I love it it’s kind of falling to bits! I’m so sick of it that we’re moving into a 1980s house that’s been renovated (bifolds and grey windows etc 😂) which is not my style but I’m looking forward to living somewhere less delicate.

We have a very large house, 2 kids and 4 cats. It is endless and I really sympathise. We also started off in a 2 bedroom flat which was always immaculate even with the 4 cats (but minus the kids!) Things need doing over and over. In lockdown we re painted the entire house, took ages and was very very messy. Most of the rooms now look the same again as before we spent a fortune on the painter and redecorater. Bulbs need changing inside and out all the time. Garden needs doing. Outside windows need doing as are starting to rot! (the wood ) I could go on and on. A lot of money goes on these things which we never had to think about in our previous flat.

My tips are to

1. De clutter twice a year properly- i do it before xmas and just before summer. I bin loads as well as I go along in the week, sort out tinned foods in cupboards that haven’t been touched in ages and donate. Kids schools are always collecting for various food banks etc.
2. Get a cleaner. We’re in london and our cleaner charges £11/ hour and is fantastic. Cleaner does the big bits - changing beds, ironing (minimal) and big full house hoovers. I stay on top of all the daily stuff, making sure kitchen is clean and sprayed down, clean litter trays, laundry.
3. Sell old furniture when buying new. DS understandably doesn’t want his peter pan furniture anymore and we are getting him a big boys room. Selling currently everything in it now- MIL said to put the rocking chair in spare guest bedroom- NO just clutter, it’s going. Spare room does not need a rocking chair.
4. Ironing to a very minimum- husbands work clothes need doing, my leggings and yoga pants don’t. You’d be surprised that not many items in the kids uniform or kids clothes in general needs doing either. Looks fine when on.
5. You accept you have 3 options now. You either pour money at it to have the immaculate home- cleaners, gardener, husband who can do jobs at home or yourself if not you need a local handyman. Dry cleaner who drops off and collects big items such as coats and suits helps too. If you can’t do that, lower expectations and accept you will be chained to the kitchen sink a lot in your free time. I stick my music on and find cleaning therapeutic and it burns calories and i kinda enjoy it, but i couldnt have it looking gleaming without a cleaner too. Or you just accept that it’s a big house and do what you can when you can. Maybe have a cleaner once a month to do a short but deep clean of the areas you spend time in the most.

We DO have help with our home and it is still a mess by the weekend. I still find smeared jam under the chairs, on door handles and in bathrooms i find all sorts daily in bathrooms .. i could go on and on. It IS never ending.

Hi op. Declutter. get rid of everything you don't use. Then invest in storage. If everything has an easy home, it is easy to put away. Be minimalist so you can just run a hoover and easily put your stuff away. Then buy a robot hoover and a shark cordless hoover.

By now we must have spent at least 10k since July on basic maintenance.

I wouldn't say that's normal as a yearly expense. What did you need to do?