To think we're in the minority?

[richardhammondsgoatee]

Our business was decimated by corona virus. To put it into context it relies on international travel and movement of workers. We were BRINGING HOME (net pay) over £100,000 pa. Within a week we lost our whole income. We had to lay off 3 employees once furlough ended. 2 years later we are bringing home less than half that from 2 businesses - includes another business we started during lockdown. I am also working in a stable job (stable as in there's always work in the field but still only a temp contract) which was my previous career so overall our household income is around half of pre corona. (So around £50,000) I had left that career late 2019 mainly due to not needing to work and ill health.

We moved house in 2019 and our mortgage is big, we could obviously afford it easily then. We can't easily move as we wouldn't get a mortgage on even a cheaper property right now (self assessment) and rent would be the same in even a smaller house. For context mortgage is just less than half of our income now. It's been tough but now we finally have "enough"

We had worked hard to get where we were and continue to work hard and are incredibly lucky to have had the skills to open our new business (completely non related to main business) which also benefited from one of the government lockdown schemes. The profit of that is not enough to live on however (wouldn't cover the mortgage) My career is a government one, there will always be work but pay is limited as with all govt jobs. I am still in ill health.

Things are further complicated in that we have business partners (another family). For various reasons our business relationship has become problematic yet neither family can afford to extricate themselves.

During the last 2 years we have taken a mortgage break which increased our payments by around £100 when we started paying again. I have worked several temporary and at times very difficult contracts and my health has deteriorated further.

Anyway that's the jist of the story, emotionally it has been really tough. We're both very hard workers and in our mid 40s it's tough to have started businesses from scratch again! We have 3 children.

But I don't know anyone else who has such a huge and ongoing impact on their income.

AIBU to think we're in the minority? I can't tell you how many people I see who seemingly enjoyed a lovely break from work on furlough while still being paid or worked from home doing exactly the same work but without the commute.

I suspect I'm being very middle class and actually should get over myself, any anecdotes that make me feel like a twat for how I feel will be graciously welcomed.

I also suspect the problems with the business partnership are making me feel more bitter than I should.

I'm not stupid btw I know people will be worse off than us and we could obviously live on less if it wasn't for the house. It's not a flash house, we just live in a high cost area. I just don't see anyone else on half the income of before with double the effort.

Go ahead and give me a stern talking to if you need to. I'm just glad to get how I feel off my chest!

Yup, a close relative works in film/TV and had 6 months of virtually no pay and the SE grant hardly covered anything in London. They spent the thousands of their savings to buy a house on just getting by until the work came back in....and now with house prices going up further again even less chance of every buying a house.

First world problems, true but they definitely didn't have it easy at all.

We were very lucky through covid. Am very aware of this.

I just want to give 💐to all those struggling.

It’s awful and you have a right to be upset, it won’t take anything away from folk who have it worse.

OP you are not wrong. Starting and running your own business is far superior in terms of skills, risk-taking mindset and contribution to the economy. Those on furlough reaped the benefits of what entrepreneurs like you put into the system. Unfortunately those who called for lockdowns are also cognitively impaired (I mean thickos) as they bit the hand that feeds them, in fact they swallowed it whole. People like that are takers and have no idea what goes into making the economic wheel spin. Now they are wailing about inflation without a hint of irony towards their own penchant for lockdowns.

Unfortunately my parents and in-laws come into that category. They also all voted for brexit in spite of being fully aware of how our business runs 🤦🏽‍♀️

You're not alone. I'm self employed and couldn't work during lockdown - DH was also self employed in a contracting role and couldn't get work for a very long time, he finally got a perm job but on a much lowers salary. We used up all our savings and even had to borrow from family eg when we needed to replace our (old) car. We're only just getting back on our feet. It's crap and so many people fell through the system.

Sorry to read this OP, it’s utterly shite and I have found it infuriating over the last 2 years and even now as all you Read so little about this kind of impact. I had just started out my business, nothing high earning but was excluded from any scheme, lost it. DH was severely impacted and it’s now having implications when remortgaging. however now with so many businesses not receiving help he is recovering due to other businesses failing (I will add not gleefully though). I know of several high earners with very successful businesses that have suffered, 2 disappeared one is just hanging on but has had to sell their home, etc. I think with so many businesses going into one of our toughest economic periods after 2 years of closures, & loans it’s going to be difficult to watch.

If your net income was 100k,then you could and should have been financially savvy and have been saving a regular chunk on a monthly basis. Even allowing that 25k is say a mortgage, you could and should have been able to have easily have saved the same again, if not more.

You may now be capital rich, but have made some foolish choices and enjoyed that lifestyle /income assuming that it would be forever which was very naive, albeit pandemics aren't usually the reason for changes in circumstances!

Many families have struggled. And tbh, given you now have £25000 after mortgage payments, I am fully aware that this is possible to live well on. And I personally, do not feel sympathy for your current situation as it's still far better than the majority, though have empathy for the emotional impact of the situation. But given the situation is improving I think that you need to focus on the future now and be savvy about not spending your income, 75k frittered away after the mortgage was excessive when you have 3 young children.
Hopefully things are on the up!

What a tough time you’ve had. You’ve done incredibly well to pivot and survive financially. You definitely aren’t alone, there are many households like you, it’s just that people don’t tend to talk about it in public. I volunteer at a charity helping people in hardship and we’ve helped quite a few families who had to declare bankruptcy, some who pre pandemic had successful businesses employing a lot of people.

Some good friends of mine employ 10 and run their own factory - they exported most of their perishable food products to the EU, so Brexit messed up that quite badly, then the pandemic closed all their restaurant customers. They managed with a lot of hard work to keep selling domestically but in a different way, a substantial pivot of their business model. I don’t think they make as much as before but are surviving. So you’re definitely not alone!

Harsh @ChoiceMummy - managing all of that change to a business and surviving is exhausting and tough. Have a bit of empathy. Of course it’s better to put away savings in good times, but they are where they are.

I think there were a lot more people in the situation you faced than are generally acknowledged.

As for lockdowns (or restrictions as I term them), the delay in having them and the lack of understanding about business I think meant they were longer and had more impact than need have been the case.

DH WFH for a year, longer hours as everything had to be changed to online. Without his commute he did save money. Plus all international travel stopped and it’s now very much more of an online culture. I saw him more that year than in probably the previous decade.

A few of our friends took early retirement, all worked in HE, all in their fifties. In my actual circle only one couple are having a hard time, he was made redundant from his min wage job. She is fighting to still be allowed to WFH.

The only close friend I have who is self employed is a builder who is inundated with work and having to turn down work. In our local area lots of people who couldn’t holiday overseas chose to have work done on their homes. The amount of skips and scaffolding in our local town is huge.

@ChoiceMummy

following your logic re who you have “sympathy” with, presumably you only have sympathy for famine victims? And those with terminal illnesses? Because with regards to anyone else…. “Others have it worse” is your logic?

@ChoiceMummy you're right of course.

It's worth noting (though not an excuse) that we reached this peak around 2018 so we're still new ish to having lots of money. Also in the early years of the business we had borrowed a lot of personal and business finances and were able to pay all that off from savings before we moved in 2019. Around £30,000 altogether. We bought a relatively expensive second hand car outright at £16000 (we still have that car). So not all frittered but certainly overspending on the day to day.

Rest assured though that all of our children have child trust fund accounts/junior ISAs that we have paid into without fail apart from the months when we had nothing. We are also now paying back money borrowed from the government (for which our accountants gave us very poor advice but again not an excuse, we should have been more on the ball) and from family which needs to be paid back within 2 years.

I absolutely know we have spent too much, a very hard lesson learnt. By the end of next year things should be easier.

We don't have £25,000 after mortgage though, I think you forgot tax and NI? It's still plenty of money and as I said in my original post I'm being horribly middle class and need to get a reality check! It's more the loss after working so so hard. But again many people in poverty also work hard. You're right to be unsympathetic.

Im sorry @richardhammondsgoatee, that sounds so tough

Similar income here, no mortgage. Sounds like you should have taken some more careful and prudent financial decisions.

Your own choice when you had a HUGE income to spend it all and get a massive mortgage. Limited sympathy, I have savings to last months, as, like you, I am privileged enough to earn well.

We didn't leave the EU until 2020.

Look it’s tough and you are allowed to be disappointed, worried and bewildered. None of us saw this coming. You had a great set up and it was largely ripped out from beneath you.

Yes, zillions of people are struggling to manage losses brought about by the pandemic, the health crisis being the most pressing, but that does not nullify your situation.

I hope things get better for you. I do think that in time you will look back and see how incredibly well you did to get through this patch. Hold on to all that is precious and keep at it.

You're right and I've said that in the post above.

Unlike you I don't see it as a privilege to earn well. We worked hard and are good at what we do. I'm privileged to have the opportunities I've had that's more how I look at it.

My business was also badly damaged by covid. Not to the financial scale yours was, as mine was only ever a "pocket money" income stream and was my second job.
I was furloughed from my main job, but due to the nature of it, I didn't make anywhere near as much as I used to, and my second income stream just vanished.
I'd say, during that 18 months, my income probably went down by about 25-30%. It still hasn't quite picked back up to pre-covid levels, but it's livable.

Somehow you don’t sound like you are a business owner or entrepreneur. No one smart enough to build their own successful business would take your attitude.

I can empathize with you regarding ill health and having difficulty working. As you business can be run remotely is there any need for you to live in the high cost area you do? If the job you have is a government dept. one then you could transfer to a different part of the country and then afford to work part time.

I live near my family, I don't have to pay for after school care as my sister helps me out. Of course we could move but the support is more important to me both because of my health and emotionally.

Our parents are also all approaching 80, it makes no sense in that regard to move away now.

Our second business is shop based so we're not as footloose business wise as it may seem.

2 of our kids are in secondary school, one has SEN support and extreme post covid anxiety which she has in school counselling for.

It is definitely something we've discussed!

We're aware of our high cost of living but what I'm really whinging about saying is that I'm bitter about seemingly being the "only ones" who seem to have this long term impact,

As I said originally it's all a bit middle class entitlement really, just a hard pill to swallow.

I’m sympathetic and you’re right, Covid has affected people very unevenly. My dsis was furloughed, and spent her days doing workout videos on YouTube, learning to bake and chatting to friends. She got two little dogs for company and was never happier. It’s just luck. I found it hard to be jealous because she works incredibly hard for low pay, so I was rather pleased she had a good lockdown.

You feel bitter though, because you are comparing yourself to other people. That is what you have to snap yourself out of doing. You have hit some harder times, but most people will hit hard times at different parts of their life. It’s just how it goes.

Regarding being tied to a crippling mortgage, I remember some school friends’ houses being repossessed in the recession when I was a child. It is devastating. My dad lost a job he had had for 30 years when his factory closed. You need to read some British social history to see that times are often very bad, and people don’t always manage to weather the storm. Sounds to me like you are doing brilliantly to recover yourselves so you should be pretty proud of that effort.

Thank you. I think this is my favourite reply. You've gently told me what's what without making me feel like a knob.

If all continues on the same trajectory we will hopefully not lose the house. (Can't say the sane for our business partners). But it is just a house at the end of the day, I'd be more concerned that renting would be barely any cheaper!

Comparison is definitely a downer, I will try to stop.

I'm sympathetic but I think you are far from alone even if it feels that way. You've just got to keep swimming and try your best.
Financially we were very lucky with covid as DH is a dr and I work in construction so neither of us stopped although we have been impacted in other ways and DH spent most of the last weekend trying to work out how to retire as he's been facing massive burnout issues and ill health.
My brother & his partner were hit badly they had signed up for a new lease for a new restaurant for spring 2020 and he was working abroad to pay for the business set up costs. He was made redundant overnight when the the country he was in went into lockdown. But couldn't even open the business they had sunk all their money into. They had to do a lot of quick thinking, pivoting and have managed just about keep their head above water by adjusting what they can do rather than focussing on what they can't change (the lease, fuel costs, supply chain issues)
They are doing a lot better now however Brexit (they have had huge food supply issues for their particular cuisine) and inflation has hit them hard.
I can see how exhausting it is for them and try to support them when I can so I do really feel for you.
Keep swimming!