To think we're in the minority?

[richardhammondsgoatee]

Our business was decimated by corona virus. To put it into context it relies on international travel and movement of workers. We were BRINGING HOME (net pay) over £100,000 pa. Within a week we lost our whole income. We had to lay off 3 employees once furlough ended. 2 years later we are bringing home less than half that from 2 businesses - includes another business we started during lockdown. I am also working in a stable job (stable as in there's always work in the field but still only a temp contract) which was my previous career so overall our household income is around half of pre corona. (So around £50,000) I had left that career late 2019 mainly due to not needing to work and ill health.

We moved house in 2019 and our mortgage is big, we could obviously afford it easily then. We can't easily move as we wouldn't get a mortgage on even a cheaper property right now (self assessment) and rent would be the same in even a smaller house. For context mortgage is just less than half of our income now. It's been tough but now we finally have "enough"

We had worked hard to get where we were and continue to work hard and are incredibly lucky to have had the skills to open our new business (completely non related to main business) which also benefited from one of the government lockdown schemes. The profit of that is not enough to live on however (wouldn't cover the mortgage) My career is a government one, there will always be work but pay is limited as with all govt jobs. I am still in ill health.

Things are further complicated in that we have business partners (another family). For various reasons our business relationship has become problematic yet neither family can afford to extricate themselves.

During the last 2 years we have taken a mortgage break which increased our payments by around £100 when we started paying again. I have worked several temporary and at times very difficult contracts and my health has deteriorated further.

Anyway that's the jist of the story, emotionally it has been really tough. We're both very hard workers and in our mid 40s it's tough to have started businesses from scratch again! We have 3 children.

But I don't know anyone else who has such a huge and ongoing impact on their income.

AIBU to think we're in the minority? I can't tell you how many people I see who seemingly enjoyed a lovely break from work on furlough while still being paid or worked from home doing exactly the same work but without the commute.

I suspect I'm being very middle class and actually should get over myself, any anecdotes that make me feel like a twat for how I feel will be graciously welcomed.

I also suspect the problems with the business partnership are making me feel more bitter than I should.

I'm not stupid btw I know people will be worse off than us and we could obviously live on less if it wasn't for the house. It's not a flash house, we just live in a high cost area. I just don't see anyone else on half the income of before with double the effort.

Go ahead and give me a stern talking to if you need to. I'm just glad to get how I feel off my chest!

I'm sure you'll be crucified on here, but the actual amount of your current income is less relevant than the fact it's half what you previously earned, so it's obviously going to be hard to adjust to a completely different lifestyle. I know I would have to completely rethink my life if our household income was £50k. Our kids do half a dozen activities, tutoring, we go on centerparcs weeekends when we fancy a break, new bikes, gadgets, nice clothes, 100s on birthday parties, jewelry, make-up, random perfume on my way through the airport...

Devastating for so many. It's good for us to remind ourselves of that. We're so so lucky in many aspects of our life.

Thank you. I'm so glad it hasn't affected you and I don't doubt you've both worked hard to be successful.

Exactly this.

Luckily we already had a caravan so have been able to have a few short breaks away. Especially the one we'd paid for before the pandemic!

My children still have hobbies, we've stopped the most expensive ones and compromised on others.

Really my family is hugely privileged and I should probably hand myself a massive grip!

It's a weird kind of comfort to seek in knowing that other people have experienced it too (or worse!

^^schadenfreude everyone feels it but few admit it

I think the pandemic was very divisive. I don't know anyone furloughed but everyone I know inclu myself continued working either from home or on site. Travel has suffered a lot & adjusting to income loss is tough.

There were winners and losers in the pandemic.
I worked on a covid ward right through and lost colleagues, and a large part of my mental wellbeing to that bloody disease.
I dont begrudge anyone for receiving furlough, they did what they were asked to do, would you rather they starved?

I think those people who enjoyed furlough, stayed home and saved will soon be feeling the pinch of rising living costs.

I don't like the narrative you see in some places that furloughed staff are workshops, lazy etc. The gov presented them from working so of course compensation was necessary. Many have moved into different industries hence the recruitment issue the country is facing.

Plus the people who likely saved the most were the people who carried on working but had no life.

My brother saved at least 20k for example.

I have absolutely no issue that people received furlough. We furloughed our employees for as long as as it was available before making them redundant. We felt responsible for them and so awful that we had no work for them. 1 of them was able to increase their hours in their second job so want so badly off at all. I'm glad we live in a country where furlough was possible.

I know my covid experience wasn't so crappy and I know people lost so much. We're so lucky to still have all our elderly parents and to not know anyone who died.

My AIBU is simply wondering if there's more people out there still feeling the financial effects or if it really is a minority of people.

Obviously there are further cost of living issues now as well.

I want to say thank you for everything you've done in the pandemic even though I know it sounds trite and patronising. I've no idea how to make it not so. Sorry. I am one of many who are grateful for our hard working frontline key workers and I didnt do the patronising clapping either.

(Ps my own career is a key worker role though not frontline)

Blessing you didn’t have children at private school op.

withdrawing them due to finances going down the drain - now that really is a shit show

I think a lot of small business owners have seen their businesses collapse , or are now so indebted that they are now unable to see any value left. Its just that business owners are a fairly small proportion of the population. Self employed people (rather than true business owners) have tended to move back into paid employment and the financial hit has been less. It is really tough when you build something up and see it damaged by something so far outside your control

Must be devastating, and I think you’ve done incredibly well to keep all your plates spinning and to start new businesses in lockdown. Hats off to you!

But, no, you’re not in the minority.

Most people are experiencing long term hardship at the moment. In fact, although you’ve lost a lot and I’m not minimising that, just adding a different perspective - you’re still one of the wealthiest households in the country.

I sympathise, sounds very tough. I work in a career that means working closely with people from lots of different backgrounds and jobs. My experience is that few people are unscathed entirely but certainly small business owners have often seen biggest drops in income. Frontline roles during the pandemic (not just NHS but teacher and even shop workers) have obviously had an unbelievably stressful time with no let up in sight and many, many others have had smaller financial drops which put them below the bread line.
You won’t win in a “whose had it hardest” challenge” but anyone who is reasonable will know that it’s been a uniquely awful time for a whole range of reasons for many, many people.

I would say losing 50% of your income is the minority

Thank you.

Yes we aren't badly off at all. It just sucks that after all this time we're starting again.

I think my ill health creates part of the issues as work is really really hard for me but I HAVE to do it, my income now almost covers the mortgage. I have fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis. I'm lucky I am still able to work but it's certainly not easy.

And of course there's the business partner twattery.

The more I read back my replies the more I realise it's less about money and more about these 2 things. DH is unhappy at work, I'm unhappy at work and unwell and we earn a lot less overall. it feels like we've gone back 10 years!

Thanks for all the replies. I'll pull my socks up and crack on! Not much choice really 🤷🏻‍♀️

Isn’t this one of the negatives of running your own business? If it takes off you can make considerable more than a lot of paid employees. Unfortunately as you have found if things go wrong you bear the brunt of the losses.
eg DH and I have worked in average pay jobs all of our life and have an average lifestyle. One of our friends took a leap and started his own business and made an absolute fortune. We do feel jealous sometimes!
Sorry it’s awful op but you sound like the sort of person who can turn things around.

Yes I guess we knew the risks all along but could never have imagined it being so total!

Thank you. I sometimes feel like I can't do it all and our marriage has taken a battering but I think we're ok now.

If it consoles you in the slightest, I moved countries with a school-aged child eight weeks before the first lockdown in my destination country, and the job I moved for simply ceased to exist because of Covid.

I've been reading mumsnet for a few years now but this is up there the most naive post I've ever seen. And you have some serious competition!

@Obbydoo precisely.

I posted on her about 6 months ago, as our business took an absolute battering during COVID, unlike you, we made some stupid financial decisions and buried our heads in the sand (totally not like me at all, I am very much 'let's get this sorted' attitude)
I had some great advice on her and we have managed to stay afloat and keep HMRC at bay but it had been an awful 6 months.

Our marriage also took a battering and it very nearly broke us.
We are coming through it but have a long way to go before we are back on our feet.

We had to cut down on DC activities and really think before we bought anything, the school holidays have been very much what can we do for free?

I know a big part of our issue was what we bought on ourselves but it was so so hard!

Nightmare, sorry to hear it's been so tough.

It's a hard pill to swallow when you know you've made mistakes. Our business partners have very much been the same with their personal finances (over £50000 in debt!) and it's taking a huge toll as the pressure is shared among us even though we've done everything we can to keep our personal debts low. We've still ended up owing HMRC anyway and have borrowed from my dad. Not my finest moment at 44 borrowing from my 80 year old dad!

We've made loads of mistakes in the past financially both in business and personally, it's easy to convince yourself it'll be ok in the end.

I hope it all works out for you.

@DogsAndGin "Most people are experiencing long term hardship at the moment."

It's not 'most', it's 'some'.

As I've said in a post above, I don't know anyone in my entire extended circle of friends, workmates and (working class) family who is currently struggling.

In the coming months, maybe. Now? No.

Everyone is eating out, paying for experiences (cinema, kayaking, life drawing - you name it) left right and centre, having work done to their homes and having holidays.