To want a bit of time to myself at the end of the day?

[Grasscrowns]

I like to come upstairs and watch a film or documentary on my iPad. DH follows me and starts cuddling me and talking to me. It sounds horrible but it drives me mad

AIBU or miserable and anti social?

Have you tried telling him you want some time on your own

I will it the consensus is I am not being unreasonable. If it is felt that I am being a miserable anti social arse I shall suck it up!

I don’t think you are being either really. It’s just a matter of taste and your own preference. I think you do need to bear in mind making time for your marriage though. Do you have much time to chat/cuddle without the kids around?

Does he do this every day? I'd struggle with getting no alone time, I don't think that's unreasonable.

You are not being unreasonable at all. I enjoy going up early for a quiet read in bed.

I often feel like this especially after a day looking after my young DC. Unless it’s every night then I don’t think you’re being unreasonable

I’d go bonkers! I love carving out time to be alone. We all need headspace. I’d hate it if I had to put up with sharing that down time. I’m afraid I would be very forthright & tell him to “Go Away!”

Neither if you are unreasonable, although you are a little bit for having not mentioned it to him before, just tell him!

More context is needed. How often are you doing this and how much time do you spend together?

I like watching stuff together

No you are not bu at all 😀

I do this every night pretty much. DH and I have dinner, watch some TV and then I'll often have a bath and read in bed while he catches up on work (or plays computer games) in his study. Love DH and love my toddler but bloody hell, it's the best time of the day.

I do this most nights. Go to bed an hour or so before Dh to watch something or read.

Look up introversion. That's perfectly normal introvert behaviour. You need some time alone to recharge. Being with other people drains your energy. A lot of people are like that. There's nothing wrong with it all.

Unfortunately to extroverts that behaviour can seen like a personal rejection. Might that be your partner? Do a bit of research on it, then if you explain it to him he should be more understanding.

Nah, DH would be buried at the end of the garden if he kept following me round like a needy puppy.

Neither is right or wrong. Im introverted and personally need alone time but I’m usually fine with my DH being there, it’s time away from everyone else that’s important for me. We do things together separately though, like both reading books in the same room so ymmv

Just tell him you want some downtime to yourself.

I’m not married anymore but when I was I always went for a bath once the kids were in bed. That was my bit of time in the day.

"Sucking it up" isn't going to work long term. You will end up resenting your partner and both being very unhappy. Absolutely pointless!

You should tell him, you just need some time alone , that's not bu

Neither of you are being unreasonable, maybe try having a bath with your iPad, he (probably) won't join you, at least you can lock the door. Then when you get into bed you'll be happy to cuddle and chat?

I think the main thing you're being unfair about is using mumsnet to guide your relationship.

It's difficult with children before you have children you really need to be aware of the impact. You want time on your own 'to recharge' fine perhaps at times your DH will also want time alone, somewhere you really also need to make time for each other. When ours were little we went through a period where we were like housemates looking after two toddlers. My DH did make a joke that he was celibate and it dawned on me that we pretty much were. We had to make a conscious decision to get back on track as a couple.

Make time for yourself by all means but remember you are a couple (if you wat to be).

I’m in the minority here - I voted YABU. We feel like we spend too much time apart - working etc. So, I’d be really upset if DH got home and wanted to be away from me for even longer. We can’t wait to spend time together, alone. If that makes sense!?

Sounds like you're an introvert and need alone time to recharge but your DH is an extrovert and social time recharges him.

It's important to work on your marriage, but alone time is necessary too.

I think it depends really, obviously if you've asked for alone time he should respect that, however, if you go all day barely seeing each other and then every night you want to be alone then I can see why he would be feeling lonely and want some affection.

On the other side though, if you also make time for each other and have alone time at other times it's just that he doesn't want to ever sit alone, then of course you're not U and need to talk to him about it.

I love people who are chatty as I'm not! I'm quite shy and reserved so enjoy the company of those who fill in the silence and spur me on to talk. I couldn't sit in the presence of another me