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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell someone who's just had a cigarette that they're not holding my newborn?

27 replies

MissM94 · 27/05/2022 10:23

Just that really. Little back story is she's had no interest in my pregnancy, made a couple of comments that highlighted how little of a fuck she gave for my unborn child and just isn't arsed in general, it wasn't expected of her because she was always so excited at the thought of me being a mum and couldn't wait for me to be pregnant pre actual pregnancy but it is what it is. I smoked on and off pre pregnancy & stopped and highlighted how bad it is for babies and how it sticks to your clothes etc & used to always talk about how I couldn't go into family members houses because I would stink of smoke due to the years of smoking in the houses and she was the first person to say I can't take the baby there, it just wasn't a secret my feelings about smoking near me and the baby when they was here, so she came to meet my newborn with her sister (who is also my friend) and friend came in by herself, I asked where other friend was, she said she was outside having a cig I said are you joking? Friend said no, I told her not to have one. So friend walks in and I say I can't believe you've just had a cig before meeting him, she said "I've washed my hands and sprayed" I said I don't care it's still on you, you won't be able to hold him now she said "that's fine" looked a little flustered but generally was okay talking and laughing and stayed for about 2/3 hours, cos she had been here a few hours towards to end I said she can have a hold of him now & she said "are you sure? I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable.. you should of just said you didn't want me to smoke" I didn't think I had to say because is it not common sense to not having a cig when going near a baby? Anyway, she's since wrote a tweet about the "way she gets treated" (we're not 12, believe it or not) and has full on seen her arse about it and is currently a victim because of how I treated her because apparently I can't ask a smoker to not hold my child after having a cig?

So, AIBU or is she? I'm genuinely doubting myself

OP posts:
PurpleButterflyWings · 27/05/2022 15:37

Smoking is a vile, foul habit that should have been consigned to the history books YEARS ago. I wouldn't let a smoker within 30 metres of my baby. If they're butt hurt, tough titties. IDGAF. YANBU @MissM94

AncientAzalea · 27/05/2022 16:47

My mum had a strop when I told her she wouldn't be able to hold newborn dd who was in the neonatal unit if she had smoked before. She genuinely couldn't understand what I was talking about. I had to point out all the posters on the unit that said the same.

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