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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel bad that I’m getting £650?

171 replies

MozFan · 27/05/2022 08:58

We are on universal credit, my DP works, his salary is £17,200 per annum before deductions.
I’m currently unable to work due to several mental and physical health issues. I’m having my capability for work assessment next week, but I’m not very hopeful from what I’ve heard.
We have a 3 year old also, he won’t be starting school until September 2023.

Anyway, when we found out that UC claimants are getting £650 as well as the £400 to help with energy costs, it did take some of the panic away I’ve been feeling lately.

A family member spoke to me on the phone and was really angry about it, saying that working people always get overlooked and that people on benefits always reap the rewards.
I was too upset to come back with anything, except for saying that we are a working household, just the wages aren’t enough to live on.

Another family member later on spoke to me and said I should be ‘grateful’ to the government … this is a person who votes Tory and says they’ll continue to do so.

OP posts:
uncomfortablydumb53 · 27/05/2022 17:31

Please do not feel guilty, life is hard enough when you're too unwell to work
Your family member is obviously bitter and unpleasant to comment, so I wouldn't even waste the breath discussing your circumstances
I have a lifelong severe disability and receive disability benefits
I've never disclosed the amount, but have had comments about " free money"... My reply... Would you like my disability?.. also comments about blue badge entitlement as until they see me walk, I don't look disabledHmm

GabriellaMontez · 27/05/2022 17:41

Dajeeling · 27/05/2022 09:03

I’m going to be honest- I don’t understand why are your extended family so privy to your financial information? I’m in a similar boat to yourself but only I know that… keep it to yourself and no-one will pass comment.

Same.

Do you have a similar level of knowledge of their income?

ThisIdiiot · 27/05/2022 17:52

Work on your mental and physical health OP so you can do the things you want, including working when your LO is old enough. Ignore any family who think it's ok to guilt you.
Benefits are there as a safety net, not a lifestyle blah blah blah. We all know that, but we don't all know a person's personal struggle. Good luck.

Binsk · 27/05/2022 18:17

You shouldn't feel guilty OP.
I do think the government have made a big mistake not also extending this help to some people not on UC. I know a lot of people who work a ridiculous amount of hours, don't earn a lot for it, but still don't earn enough to be eligible for UC. I think people see those on UC etting some help while they work non-stop to keep their heads above water, and feel resentful for it. It is something that the government should be handing better though, not something that should make you feel guilty.

Tiani4 · 27/05/2022 20:02

I get child tax credit I really hope I see even a bit of £650 as well as £400 as my living costs to keep DCs warm and afford all the increases (also on my mortgage) are shocking. Such a relief I may get some gov help. And I work very very hard already

Don't apologise OP nor feel guilty, it's a very difficult financial time for us all, and it's only just starting with fuel /gas and electric bill crazy increases. The government have done this so that those near under or on poverty line aren't left cold, shivering and trying to work out how we can pay the incredible hike in our bills .

If you are eligible, it's because they recognise you don't have any leeway and would have to go without food or something to pay for heating and other costs.

dianthus101 · 27/05/2022 20:24

Don't feel guilty. You clearly need the money unlike some well off pensioners.

villandrysnose · 27/05/2022 20:40

Take no notice of your vile family member. You are entitled to that money. Your husband works - the vast majority of benefit claimants work - and you being unwell is not your fault.
It seems that this issue has emboldened a lot of people to make vile comments. A relative of of mine had a go today because my husband will get £150 as he is disabled. I told her that he'd gladly give up £150 rather than have MS (and also decided to go low contact with said relative as she has form for this sort of thing, whining about disabled people getting free cars).
It's a sad fact that the tories and the media have done a grand job of making scapegoats of the low paid, poor and disabled. It feels like we're back to the Victorian "undeserving poor" sometimes.

gamerchick · 27/05/2022 20:48

Why do people think they're getting 400 quid cash? I'm obviously missing something.

Rosscameasdoody · 27/05/2022 20:55

The £400 isn’t cash, it’s a credit to your energy bill. Those people on qualifying state benefits will get their additional entitlement paid via the benefit system.

PinkButtercups · 27/05/2022 21:02

Don't.

People have the misconception that most people on UC are raking it in.

BritWifeInUSA · 27/05/2022 21:03

Well, you’re being unreasonable to discuss finances with other people, even family members. This discussion would never have happened if you kept private matters private.

Have you looked into what you can do to improve your financial situation? Maybe working from home, even part time?

gamerchick · 27/05/2022 21:04

Rosscameasdoody · 27/05/2022 20:55

The £400 isn’t cash, it’s a credit to your energy bill. Those people on qualifying state benefits will get their additional entitlement paid via the benefit system.

Yes, the additional. I just keep seeing posts all over saying they're going to donate their 400 quid and thought I'd not understood something.

WishILivedInThrushGreen · 27/05/2022 21:09

Please don't feel guilty.

Don't forget, that if people have multiple homes, they'll get multiple grants!
Looking at you Mr Sunak!

Beggars belief.

You, OP, have every right to receive help. Your relatives will also receive the grant.

Plantlifeandsoul · 27/05/2022 21:12

I pay my taxes for exactly this reason. Many of us, for various reasons, at some point in life may struggle and need help to manage.

I am grateful that if my circumstances change that there is a benefit system that means I’ll have some help. It’s not great but it’s better than nothing.

We are ALL a significant life event or two, away from having significant physical or mental health problems that make working hard. That’s why the benefit system is there.

Your family are thoughtless. Anyone who votes Conservative clearly has no understanding of the complex reasons people end up unable to work and how the system is stacked against those that are less well off.

Ignore their comments. The people that don’t deserve the financial help are the greedy rich who make their money on the backs of others without doing anything to lessen the gap between rich and poor.

Use the money to make sure you are warm and well fed this winter. It will be a tough one.

Good luck and I hope things get easier for you soon. Hang in there. Once your DC starts school you can focus more on getting yourself well. Do what you can to look after yourself.

Imnotahippo · 27/05/2022 21:18

I remember having to go on benefits when I was pregnant years ago
i don’t know if it’s the same now,but back then if you’d been on benefits for x amount of time,you got £500 per baby
I got £500 to buy baby things and was bloody grateful
anyway not long after my brother and sister in law where expecting
they both worked full time and had a lot more money than me-and they had her parents they tapped for cash all the time-I didn’t
ill never forget her screaming at me that it was fair I’d got a ‘free’ £500 and she was entitled to the same
i told her-‘I’ve worked since I was 15,I’m rarely off sick and for fucks sake you spend £500 a fortnight on takeaways alone’ (she was always ringing in sick and they spent money like water)
she demanded I give her half of my grant and refuses to this day to speak to me as I told her to get stuffed

its the same thing-they are jealous that your getting something they aren’t and I wouldn’t be discussing anything to do with money after this

saraclara · 27/05/2022 21:46

There's a fair bit of victim blaming here, re: OP's family knowing her situation.
Well of course they do. She can't work due to her health condition. They'll know without her saying anything, that she'll qualify for UC and the £650. Families know each other's broad situations, even if they don't know how much each has in the bank or pays for their mortgage.

Don't you dare feel guilty OP. That money is important for you. You're going to need it. And if the subject is brought up again, take a deep breath and say what others have suggested "you're welcome.to my £650 if your prepared to have my health problems and give me your job and it's salary"

Manekinek0 · 27/05/2022 21:53

Dont feel guilty!

Money really does bring out the worst in people. Some of the comments on the thread discussing this announcement are disgusting.

Enjoy the money as best you can, I hope it makes life a little easier.

TheFairyNamedMary · 27/05/2022 22:10

Money divides .. don’t tell tell people what you get it’s none of their business.

Kendodd · 27/05/2022 22:19

The only people who need to feel ashamed are those who voted Tory and put this awful government in power. Twelve years of Tory rule and look at the state of public services and the poverty they've created.

Hawkins001 · 27/05/2022 22:22

Kendodd · 27/05/2022 22:19

The only people who need to feel ashamed are those who voted Tory and put this awful government in power. Twelve years of Tory rule and look at the state of public services and the poverty they've created.

Does not automatically mean the other party would of achieved any better, besides corporations ect also have an influence in gov't affairs, at a guess.

Kendodd · 27/05/2022 22:31

Hawkins001 · 27/05/2022 22:22

Does not automatically mean the other party would of achieved any better, besides corporations ect also have an influence in gov't affairs, at a guess.

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And if another political party had done anything like as much damage as the Tories have I would be equally as unforgiving.

Hawkins001 · 27/05/2022 22:36

Kendodd · 27/05/2022 22:31

And if another political party had done anything like as much damage as the Tories have I would be equally as unforgiving.

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Fair point, I was just doing the devil's advocate.

pointythings · 27/05/2022 22:37

Hawkins001 · 27/05/2022 22:22

Does not automatically mean the other party would of achieved any better, besides corporations ect also have an influence in gov't affairs, at a guess.

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That's just pathetic 'but the other guys would/might/could have been just as bad'. And if that's the only argument Tory voters have, things are dire indeed.

The Tories have been in power for 12 years. The time for whinging about the other side is well and truly over - unless you're still enjoying that Kool-Aid.

Hawkins001 · 27/05/2022 22:40

pointythings · 27/05/2022 22:37

That's just pathetic 'but the other guys would/might/could have been just as bad'. And if that's the only argument Tory voters have, things are dire indeed.

The Tories have been in power for 12 years. The time for whinging about the other side is well and truly over - unless you're still enjoying that Kool-Aid.

Show quote history

Considering how many people vote, I wonder if their has been any studies on weather people take the time to study who they are voting for and their policies, or weather it's just we have always voted for a party ?

yesterdaytheycame · 27/05/2022 22:57

That person on the phone is an arse.

My friend is on UC and I'm happy for her to get that money. I shared the story to her with a big smiley face.

We won't get it. We aren't well off either, just not on benefits.