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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel bad that I’m getting £650?

171 replies

MozFan · 27/05/2022 08:58

We are on universal credit, my DP works, his salary is £17,200 per annum before deductions.
I’m currently unable to work due to several mental and physical health issues. I’m having my capability for work assessment next week, but I’m not very hopeful from what I’ve heard.
We have a 3 year old also, he won’t be starting school until September 2023.

Anyway, when we found out that UC claimants are getting £650 as well as the £400 to help with energy costs, it did take some of the panic away I’ve been feeling lately.

A family member spoke to me on the phone and was really angry about it, saying that working people always get overlooked and that people on benefits always reap the rewards.
I was too upset to come back with anything, except for saying that we are a working household, just the wages aren’t enough to live on.

Another family member later on spoke to me and said I should be ‘grateful’ to the government … this is a person who votes Tory and says they’ll continue to do so.

OP posts:
MrPlopper · 27/05/2022 09:29

You don't need to feel guilty at all! And as PPs said, you are a working household 🙄

I don't disagree entirely though with the idea that those who don't claim benefits are often overlooked when it comes to grants / support. Not to say that people claiming benefits aren't overlooked either though because they often are! My husband is self employed and we were fucked over during Covid and I'm sure we'll be fucked over now too but on paper he earns over the threshold for claiming anything.

I think most people are struggling right now whether they are on UC or not, to varying degrees of course. I'm sure it will bring out the worst in a lot of people unfortunately.

Cryingintherain99 · 27/05/2022 09:31

I'm in a similar situation. Don't feel guilty.
However, I'm not aware that I'm getting this help, so I assume not.

MaryAndHerNet · 27/05/2022 09:32

You shouldn't feel guilty, your family members should feel ashamed and stupid.

They've spouted a load of unresearched, media biased bollocks.

PurpleButterflyWings · 27/05/2022 09:36

Well WE are not getting it as we don't qualify, and we are not on massive wages, but I don't resent those who do, because we are OK. Not rolling in it, but comfortable. The spike in energy has hit us a bit, but we are getting £400 for that anyway. Plus £150 off council tax coz we're in Band C. We have low outgoings so manage well.

I can understand the people who earn quite low,, but not quite low enough to get anything being pissed off being angry though. As has been said on many threads about this though, the anger is directed at the wrong people.

Don't feel bad. The 'family member' who attacked you for it is an idiot. Why should you feel bad?!

Cryingintherain99 · 27/05/2022 09:41

I'm not sure if I will be entitled or not.
I'm a single parent of 3, but I receive carers allowance for my youngest child who is on the highest rate dla, (I can't work due to caring for him full time), so maybe the carers allowance will disqualify me. I have no idea how it works to be honest.

lunar1 · 27/05/2022 09:42

You have health conditions meaning you can't work right now. Does the idiot complaining want your problems plus £650? I'm guessing you would take that trade.

Peoples frustration over minimum wage jobs not being enough to live on is valid and needs addressing by the government, minimum wage should be liveable. But this isn't your problem to solve.

baroqueandblue · 27/05/2022 09:43

So they can't congratulate you on a desperately-needed boost to your UC? Did they commiserate when Sunak the multimillionaire withdrew £20 a week from your UC last year?

If you answer no to the second question, it might be time for you to go no contact Hmm

breatheintheamazing · 27/05/2022 09:45

It's all in the context and back story of which we have little to go on from your post and very specific to individual circumstances ? I'm Not jealous or envious or any of those emotions but I am wondering why your partner is only on minimum wage - what's his job? Why can't he take on another? What's the reason you can't work perhaps your family member thinks your ailments don't mean you can't work.

We are ok as a family financially wise but I know plenty of middle earners and families where both work and who not entitled to a penny and who are hugely struggling. Why should they not get the same level of help?

ElspethBoomingHowsen · 27/05/2022 09:46

I am a student midwife and a single parent. I claim a small amount of UC as it’s not practical to work as well as doing a full time degree and working 12 hour shifts on placement. Student loans just don’t cut it.

I know there is a lot of haters on here towards students claiming benefits and I agree for the majority of course but I currently pay to do my degree and work for free, to qualify and fill some much needed midwifery gaps.

I will certainly not feel bad about my payment 😊

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/05/2022 09:48

You deserve every penny you get. If that person wants the extra money, they can take your disability.

Testina · 27/05/2022 09:49

If you feel bad, give it back 🤷🏻‍♀️ (post it to Boris, or donate to a food bank)

You actually need to be an adult about this.

Want to feel angry, frustrated, exasperated with your family? Bored even? Go for it.

But feeling “bad” is your choice. Forget what they say. If you think you should have it - take it. If you think you shouldn’t - donate it. No place for feeling bad here. Time to stop other people’s mouthing off make you feel bad.

jessycake · 27/05/2022 09:49

Take no notice , its not your fault that we are all having to deal with this massive increase in costs , or that in many instances wages are so low they are almost meeting benefit level . I think the government have conveniently taken the heat off themselves and made people angry about each other and its working .

PetersRabbitt · 27/05/2022 09:50

Don’t feel guilty but it is true!
We work and have to pay for everything, we only earn 35k BETWEEN us just outside of london. We have less spending money than my family members who are on benefits and funnily enough going on holiday for a week today in Scotland. I’m the only one not going as don’t have the money.
I have to pay school uniforms, school meals (that racks up quickly) everything, we get help with nothing so actually end up having a lot less money to go spending with or save.

KettrickenSmiled · 27/05/2022 09:51

A family member spoke to me on the phone and was really angry about it, saying that working people always get overlooked and that people on benefits always reap the rewards.

Perhaps your idiotic family member would like to swap your £650 for the health issues that prevent you from working. I'm sure you - & anyone similarly affected - would pay up gladly.

Sorry you had to hear that OP. I'd reduce contact with That Person, frankly.

Cleothecat75 · 27/05/2022 09:51

Do not feel guilty. We are really struggling, we are just above the benefits threshold and have savings to live off before we could get anything anyway. I’m having to fight to get my dc any kind of disability payments and I’ve had to give up work to care for them. I don’t begrudge you anything. I begrudge the MPs who put in massive expenses claims (especially our MP, who rarely visits the constituency as lives elsewhere, doesn’t get back to correspondence or have any idea what’s going on locally, follows the Tory line on everything and gets voted in time and time again -they’d vote for anything with a blue rosette on round here) and I begrudge those who don’t pay their taxes as they should.

Onwards22 · 27/05/2022 09:53

I earn less than your DP and don’t get UC as I’m a single parent.

I could be angry that those that don’t work get these bonuses but I have been on benefits before and I would never want to go back.
It’s definitely not something anyone would choose to do.

Those who have more money are always at an advantage (mortgage instead of rent, lower APRs, annual energy payments instead of key meters, can afford a decent car so less money wasted on garage bills etc) yet it’s always those on low incomes that get the most stick.

If anyone genuinely doesn’t need the extra money then give it to charity as then they’ll benefit without anyone loosing money.

If you could do with that extra payment then take it and be thankful and don’t care what anyone else says or thinks.

ladygindiva · 27/05/2022 09:54

Shit I accidentally voted Yanbu because I havent had enough coffee and misunderstood the voting. To be clear; you need and deserve this money. You are unwell, and your partner works but on a low wage. Anyone who resents you having this help is a very sad individual. And I hope that people in your situation should get more help actually.

Seraphinesupport · 27/05/2022 09:54

but your a working family and you are getting it too so don't feel guilty because your working and not being overlooked are you

Dinotour · 27/05/2022 09:55

Don't feel bad, sounds like they have an enormous chip on their shoulder and are probably very ignorant about the reality of benefits.

Dinotour · 27/05/2022 09:56

Onwards22 · 27/05/2022 09:53

I earn less than your DP and don’t get UC as I’m a single parent.

I could be angry that those that don’t work get these bonuses but I have been on benefits before and I would never want to go back.
It’s definitely not something anyone would choose to do.

Those who have more money are always at an advantage (mortgage instead of rent, lower APRs, annual energy payments instead of key meters, can afford a decent car so less money wasted on garage bills etc) yet it’s always those on low incomes that get the most stick.

If anyone genuinely doesn’t need the extra money then give it to charity as then they’ll benefit without anyone loosing money.

If you could do with that extra payment then take it and be thankful and don’t care what anyone else says or thinks.

You should be if you are on less than OPs husband- it's worth checking your entitlement.

DonnaRhea · 27/05/2022 09:56

It's there for people who need support, you need support and qualify for it so fuck what they think
Bet they wouldn't turn it down
I say this as someone who has never qualified for anything. Not everyone thinks the way of your FM

ladygindiva · 27/05/2022 09:56

breatheintheamazing · 27/05/2022 09:45

It's all in the context and back story of which we have little to go on from your post and very specific to individual circumstances ? I'm Not jealous or envious or any of those emotions but I am wondering why your partner is only on minimum wage - what's his job? Why can't he take on another? What's the reason you can't work perhaps your family member thinks your ailments don't mean you can't work.

We are ok as a family financially wise but I know plenty of middle earners and families where both work and who not entitled to a penny and who are hugely struggling. Why should they not get the same level of help?

No ; you're not jealous at all.

PeopleAllergy · 27/05/2022 09:56

As the saying goes, you can’t pick your family. They don’t sound particularly kind or bright, I wouldn’t let the opinion of people like that bother you too much.

0pheIiaBalls · 27/05/2022 09:58

Of course you shouldn't feel guilty.

Good luck for your assessment, I hope you get all the help you need. I'm sorry you've had a shit time of it and hopefully this money will ease some of the pressure.

PS I'm a Mozfan too! 😊

Ballcactus · 27/05/2022 09:59

You don’t have to justify yourself. I’m glad they’re doing something but sadly it still isn’t enough