Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Negative Teacher

40 replies

FrazzleDazz · 26/05/2022 16:57

DD 13 has come out of school today with her end of year report, overall it's positive however I'm really shocked at one subject teachers comments. She has always been quite negative but it has upset DD as it's in an area she's keen to progress in for further/higher education. She has alluded to DD not
making enough effort etc when we have witness first hand the extra work she has been putting in, she now also has a tutor (at her request) once a week to help support her. Ordinarily I wouldn't even need to ask if I should raise it with the school but it appears that her form tutor and HM have supported teachers comment but saying take note etc. I feel really upset for her as I want her to aspire to whatever she wants at this age not be told to not even try! AIBU to feel really upset with the school, or should DD be told what she wants to do is unrealistic? Sorry for no specifics too outing!

OP posts:
LadyMonicaBaddingham · 26/05/2022 17:05

What does the private tutor say about her performance/progress/attitude? I would consider emailing the HoD with a question - directly comparing the two opinions if they differ - and ask what the school would suggest your daughter should be concentrating on to move forwards. There would be no harm at all in mentioning her passion and future plans regarding the subject. Then you have something in writing you can take forward with your daughter (and back up if the teacher vontinues to make her feel bad)

Original poster
FrazzleDazz · 26/05/2022 17:12

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 26/05/2022 17:05

What does the private tutor say about her performance/progress/attitude? I would consider emailing the HoD with a question - directly comparing the two opinions if they differ - and ask what the school would suggest your daughter should be concentrating on to move forwards. There would be no harm at all in mentioning her passion and future plans regarding the subject. Then you have something in writing you can take forward with your daughter (and back up if the teacher vontinues to make her feel bad)

Overall tutor is a positive & lovely, always says she works hard and that she's "smashed it" in her session. However it is a core subject tutor that being strong in will help with massively. Her other teachers are a more positive too. We have met this particular teacher on numerous occasions and she has always been negative towards DDs efforts. She is also well aware of her aspirations and she has talked about it in the report then said she'll never make the grade to do that! Which is what I'm more upset about really. I am going to ring tomorrow to have a constructive conversation about it all, after I've calmed down a bit!

OP posts:
CoralBells · 26/05/2022 17:14

What do you mean when you say that your daughter has been told to not even try at the subject?
I'd contact the teacher and ask what the specific problem is that makes her think that your daughter isn't making an effort.

CoralBells · 26/05/2022 17:14

Crossed post

Original poster
FrazzleDazz · 26/05/2022 17:20

@CoralBells I've just reread her comments for clarity, and she said she needs to be realistic about her aspirations and she's unlikely to do it. I just feel at her age it's completely unacceptable to be told that when she's putting in the work and we have seen this first hand. She says she is disappointed in her effort.

OP posts:
CoralBells · 26/05/2022 17:23

How is your daughter doing in tests in that subject? It definitely sounds like it would be good to speak to the teacher about what makes her think the effort isn't good.

BungleandGeorge · 26/05/2022 17:24

Are her ambitions realistic? Personally I’d just tell
her to rise above and prove them wrong

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 26/05/2022 17:25

What does the comment actually say? Some teacher just have higher standards, is it negative or just not overly positive?

Original poster
FrazzleDazz · 26/05/2022 17:27

@CoralBells admittedly her end of term test was lower than she should have got, but overall she performs well enough. Yes I am
going to ring tomorrow.9

OP posts:
backgroundingo · 26/05/2022 17:28

Well if she wants to be a doctor, but makes no effort in maths than that would be an issue. Your post was a bit confusing, is it a core subject or the subject she wants to study ?

Original poster
FrazzleDazz · 26/05/2022 17:29

@BungleandGeorge I feel like at her age, it can go either way, she's still young and despite what she may end up doing I don't want to extinguish that ambition! I have told her to look at it as a challenge and prove them wrong too.

OP posts:
Original poster
FrazzleDazz · 26/05/2022 17:32

@backgroundingo she is having extra tuition in maths to support her science, so is doing all the right things and I can't fault her attitude. I just feel so sad for her at the moment.

OP posts:
CoralBells · 26/05/2022 17:33

The teacher is probably judged on how kids perform in relation to KS2 SAT data, so her comments probably refer to the lower test result. She's probably assumed your dd didn't revise if she didn't do as well as expected, even if that's not the case.

ladymalfoy45 · 26/05/2022 17:36

What type of school does you DD attend?
There is no way a report that negative would get past the SLT/SMT checks in my school.
What have her ATL/WA and Progress reports been like over the past year?
Assessment grades/scores/marks?
Why hasn't the teacher requested intervention if they felt your DD was under-performing as much as the report would suggest?

Pantheon · 26/05/2022 17:37

I think the comment from the teacher about your dd not being able to achieve what she wants to is really uncalled for and unkind.

WalkerWalking · 26/05/2022 17:37

Is it maths? We are very honest with our students about how difficult A Level maths is. A grade 7 at GCSE very reliably translates to a D or an E at A Level. We don't accept students onto the A Level course with a 6 or below at GCSE.

That said, I like to think I'm honest rather than negative. It's also worth bearing in mind that some kids honestly don't understand how much harder they could be working in class. As far as they're concerned they're doing enough, and yet every time the teacher looks up, they're not doing any work! (this is a conversation I have at least 10 times a day: "Sam? Could you get on with your work please?" "Oh WHAT?? I AM working! I've done two whole questions!! And why aren't you picking on Alex?!!!")

If your daughter is in that category, then the teacher won't appreciate how hard they are working at home, because it just doesn't tally with what they're seeing in class.

user1471483687 · 26/05/2022 17:39

This happened to me when I started secondary school, the science/math teacher wrote me off, in first year of secondary.
The teacher told my mother I should swap out for a different subject.
Thankfully I got different teachers for science for the rest of secondary.

I finished school with top grades in chemistry, biology and maths. I did a BSc and MSc in chemistry and maths.
Today I work in a STEM industry.

Bad form to that teacher, all pupils should be supported. if you have a passion and work hard and have some support, it puts you on the road to at least trying to achieve your goal.

backgroundingo · 26/05/2022 17:40

The attitude is bad of the teacher, but sometimes things just click around this age for Dc. They realise it matters and the improve can be rapid.

I would consider that sometimes it is difficult to be good enough at the A-levels needed to get into a course that you would excel at. There are many doctors with appalling social skills, because they are highly academic. There does need to be a balance.

Luluuuuuuuuuu85 · 26/05/2022 17:40

Hmmm. Teacher here. I can understand you being upset about comments related to her effort- if she is putting in all the effort you say she is, I think the teacher should be aware of this. Did the teacher comment on what she does in class? Maybe she chats and doesn't push herself?
The point about her ability is different. The phrasing sounds a bit harsh but if she is struggling to perform at the level required to a certain career, maybe she should think about alternatives?
Having said all this, 13 is very young and a lot will change in the next few years, no doors are closed yet! It sounds like she is trying really hard at home and that is great.

backgroundingo · 26/05/2022 17:41
  • improvement ( I'm still waiting to hit my peak! )
Original poster
FrazzleDazz · 26/05/2022 17:44

@ladymalfoy45 it is a private school, smaller classes etc more time to give to the kids etc.
I just feel like it's a really poor turn of phrase and like you said we've had no indication all year that's she's not been performing as expected so I feel let down with the communication.

OP posts:
Original poster
FrazzleDazz · 26/05/2022 17:45

user1471483687 · 26/05/2022 17:39

This happened to me when I started secondary school, the science/math teacher wrote me off, in first year of secondary.
The teacher told my mother I should swap out for a different subject.
Thankfully I got different teachers for science for the rest of secondary.

I finished school with top grades in chemistry, biology and maths. I did a BSc and MSc in chemistry and maths.
Today I work in a STEM industry.

Bad form to that teacher, all pupils should be supported. if you have a passion and work hard and have some support, it puts you on the road to at least trying to achieve your goal.

Thank you for this I will tell her this little story as she feels like all is lost tonight (big lack of confidence with her as well!)

OP posts:
maddy68 · 26/05/2022 17:45

I would suggest that the fact the teacher has suggested she had an additional tutor indicates that she is struggling with the subject

Original poster
FrazzleDazz · 26/05/2022 17:49

@maddy68 the teacher hasn't suggested anything, this has come from DD, they tend to go over the work and discuss/cement it rather than catching her up.

OP posts:
Eightiesfan · 26/05/2022 17:50

OP was the wording quite generic and vague. Hate to say but some teachers do like a bit of a copy and paste on the reports, particularly in KS3.

To be honest, I do a bit of CP myself for marking homework (not reports!). I have an answer bank of comments which makes marking much quicker. God bless Google Classroom!

As you say, your daughter didn’t do as well as expected in her end of term tests. Because of this I expect that the teacher has looked at the grade and compared it to what they think they are capable of and made the assumption that she is being a bit lazy.