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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to take kids on holiday DP says no

65 replies

Dowhatdowullywup · 26/05/2022 13:42

Not so much AIBU but am I being bonkers 😂..

Dc are 2 yrs old and 6 months both pandemic babies. I thought it would be nice to go away maybe mallorca this summer now things are opening up.

Dp says I am romanticising the idea and it will just be parenting elsewhere without all our stuff, in the heat, kids unsettled from routine, they are too young to appreciate it etc

AIBU to feel a bit disappointed? Anyone have any experience with going abroad with kids this young and was it hell or was it great!?!

OP posts:
Bramshott · 26/05/2022 15:34

It depends what he's saying OP - if it's "let's do something UK based this year and then take them to Mallorca next year when they're a bit older" I might be tempted to agree, but if he's point blank against holidays with young DC then obviously that's a different conversation.

Sharrowgirl · 26/05/2022 15:42

Didn’t go abroad until the youngest was about 5. Prior to that, it’s just the same toddler challenges with less of the convenience.

RobertaFirmino · 26/05/2022 15:44

I have often read the words 'same shit, different country' when this subject is discussed.

Regardless of how the DC are, I doubt going abroad with someone who really didn't want to go will be much fun. Just as Bramshott said, would he consider a UK break? Something a bit cheaper?

cushioncovers · 26/05/2022 15:49

It absolutely will be the same shit different place op. It's a huge amount of money to spend to do exactly the same as what you do everyday at home but in an unfamiliar hot place. We waited until our were old enough to safely enjoy the heat, the pool and be able to eat out Kate at night trying different foods without throwing a tantrum. We took holidays in the uk for the first few years until then.

hippolyta · 26/05/2022 15:52

Well he's right it's very hard work. Especially a the baby will be at that crawling stage.
However it can work if you change your expectations and work as a team. Taking turns at having both children while the other relaxes.
We took a 6 month old and 2 year old to menorca. Stayed in a 2 bedroom apartment. This was crucial to getting some time to ourselves as we could put them to bed and then shut the foor and sit on terrace. We got takeaway food so no cooking.
Another time my parents came with us so they helped out a bit. They stayed in a different apartment so we weren't on top of each other.

minipie · 26/05/2022 15:54

I agree you’re both right!

If you do go here are my tips


  • somewhere warm but not too boiling hot is best

  • I would def choose abroad rather than uk for the weather. IMO a rainy holiday with two tots would be awful, worse than being at home

  • a pool with a shelving shallow end is ideal. Or a baby pool

  • either AI with buffet, or self catering. You don’t want those ages in a restaurant where you have to order and wait

  • Expect nap schedule to go out of the window. They will not adjust to local time. you will be up early and then they will need a big nap midday - if they are sleep resisters you may want a car to assist naps

  • If you have helpful grandparents, take them with!! The more adults per child the better

motogirl · 26/05/2022 15:55

He's right that you are romanticising, its parenting elsewhere BUT I loved travelling with mine as little ones, I didn't do conventional hotel trips instead we took road trips and even went backpacking albeit with a double buggy, they are surprisingly portable before school age. The trick is to take holidays you want to do rather than a "childrens" holiday!

TheFairyCaravan · 26/05/2022 15:57

I’d go to Menorca rather than Mallorca. I find it more family/little one friendly. Go in September when it’s a little bit cooler, and cheaper. The children would love playing in the sand, paddling in the sea and the splash pools. i don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all.

Merryoldgoat · 26/05/2022 15:58

I’m in the minority I expect but I think holidays are just hard work until kids are 3/4 years old.

I took oldest DS at 6 months.

Poor and interrupted sleep, lugging steriliser milk, nappies etc.

Fast forward 3 years and it was absolutely fantastic.

This year is our first as a family of 4 as we now have a 9 and 4 year old.

motogirl · 26/05/2022 15:59

I should add that I also never went to children attractions instead I found things I liked that didn't mind the kids - my then 2 year old dd dancing in a San Francisco jazz club is one of my favourite memories, who would have thought they allowed kids it (they did until 9pm)

Delinathe · 26/05/2022 16:11

Just because they won't remember it doesn't mean they won't benefit from it! And you might too, from the change. We took DS to Canada at 7 months ( not exactly a holiday, had to go, but it was still fun) it wasn't that big of a deal. How much stuff do you really need? Also took him to Naples at 2 years, he absolutely loved it. I have some great memories and pictures from that trip. I wouldn't have wanted to put it all off until he 3/4 or whatever. But my DS wasn't a great sleeper even at home and our routines were fairly loose which may have helped, and of course we only had one then. I think holidays with little ones can be surprisingly great though.

KangarooKenny · 26/05/2022 16:13

I didn’t at this age as I agree with what he said. However, if you want to, you should be allowed to.

KeyWorker · 26/05/2022 16:15

Holidaying with small children is fine, you just have to work together as a team to make it work. I’ve holidayed with DD since she was 7 months and yearly since then to places like the canaries.
we’ve also done weeks and weekends away in this country too.

user3199 · 26/05/2022 16:26

We only have one child, age 2, and we have ruled out going abroad until next year at the earliest. I love travel, but for me at the moment having a relaxing break from work is the most important thing and travelling abroad with a toddler just doesn't seem like a relaxing thing to me. When I was pregnant we went to the Canary Islands to an all inclusive. The families with young children looked a bit stressed by day (keeping kids out of sun etc) - but the biggest negative to me was that they looked so bored in the evenings.

We had a great week in Devon earlier this year at a very toddler orientated place (Knowle Farm). Our child loved it and because they were so happy it made us happy and relaxed. Life for that week was very easy and that's ultimately what I wanted.

Newusername3kidss · 26/05/2022 16:32

We want to Jamaica when ours were 2 years and 3 months, was fab. Baby slept on the plane and both napped in the day so we both got bit of a break. Worst bit will be 6 month old on a plane as he’ll want to crawl around but take loads of snacks and he’ll sleep for a bit. We’ve travelled with all babies / kids of all ages. Only time we’ve found it more hard work was recently going with 3 kids as we were outnumbered! Go! You’ll have a great time. Go all inclusive though - no cooking or cleaning for a week

Fink · 26/05/2022 16:36

You're both right. Holidaying with small children is brilliant, but your DH is also correct that it will all centre around them. So if you're romanticising being able to sit on a beach and relax, or sit for hours in a bar and relax, or sit anywhere and relax (or go out drinking etc.) then you'll be in for a shock. It's true that they're not old enough to appreciate a lot of stuff, but as long as they're fed and watered and kept out of the sun then you can do a lot of cultural stuff you might enjoy, they're young enough to be dragged around archeologial sites, museums etc. Just be prepared that days at the beach or poolside, for example, will be non-stop activity. You will have to entertain the toddler (and keep the baby cool and in the shade) all day, you can't just say 'we'll have a day at the beach' and pack your towel and that's it, you have to be playing in the sea or building sandcastles, or collecting stones, or playing a ball game literally all day long. Since there's two of you, neither of you will get a break as the one not minding the toddler will have to mind the baby (they're really too young to have only one adult for both when they're near water). However, I loved it. Would definitely go again, as long as you're prepared for what it will be like and that it will be nothing like a holiday pre-children.

Other than the tips above from pp, I would add: you will be spending a lot more time in the hotel room/appartment than you normally would. If you're anything like me, the room is normally just for sleeping in and storing stuff, you don't actually spend any time there on holiday, but all that changes when you have kids and you're sitting around for ages when one or both of them sleep (plus it takes forever to get them organised to get out, but that's another matter), so don't skimp on the accommodation, get the best you can. Read the reviews which mention air con (they are of very varying quality, IMO), check the bedroom arrangements (ideally a separate sleeping space for the toddler at least, one bedroom for the 4 of you and no living space, e.g. a family sized hotel room, would not be good), try to get something with a view or balcony so at least it feels like you're actually abroad, and make sure you bring plenty to read.

Candleabra · 26/05/2022 16:48

You’re both right, depending on how you approach the holiday.

from your perspective I’d want him to be on the same page about a holiday abroad. Or you’ll spend the whole holiday overcompensating and waiting for him to say I told you so. A successful trip will depend on you both putting in the effort.

drpet49 · 26/05/2022 16:52

I agree with your husband.

sickofthisnonsense · 26/05/2022 16:56

I was firmly with your DH's mindset. Until the kids were 3&5 we didn't go abroad.
My life in a different country without our home comforts was just too much

PatientlyWaiting21 · 26/05/2022 16:58

Parenting in a lovely change of scenery, why wouldn’t you go?

I went on holiday abroad from the age of 3 months - my parents coped, all my friends take their kids/babies away.
My daughter is 6 months and has been on two staycations, heading off abroad in a few months. Won’t be a sunbathing all day holiday but it’ll be fine ❤️

Bunnycat101 · 26/05/2022 16:59

At those ages I’m with your DH. I did a holiday with my first at 11m and then 2. First one was a bit shit- second one was genuinely enjoyable as we had a villa and we tended to play and swim with her in the morning or have a potter around and she’d have a nice long nap where we could genuinely relax. I’d find it quite stressful with 2 little ones and a hotel for example re naps. We’re doing a villa holiday again this year but not sure how it will be with a 6yo and 3yo. Think the 3yo will love it but older one might get a bit bored without friends. Will look at more resort options next year once youngest can use kids clubs.

The ideal in terms of your own rest and relaxation is when your youngest is 4 and you can access kids clubs.

Chasingsquirrels · 26/05/2022 17:00

Perhaps you could agree with him, and arrange a holiday on your own with friends leaving him and the kids at home 😆

LampLighter414 · 26/05/2022 17:02

Never seen the point of taking children under 3 on overseas holidays personally. I'd wait until they're at least 3 before doing that. Use the money on some nice days out closer to home or save it towards a super first overseas holiday.

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 26/05/2022 17:07

+Dp says I am romanticising the idea and it will just be parenting elsewhere without all our stuff, in the heat, kids unsettled from routine, they are too young to appreciate it etc*
this is very accurate.

Roastonsun8 · 26/05/2022 17:16

If your DH comes with you, you can each have a child each and swop. It's a change of scenery and no difference from having to parent at home. Your 2 year will play with others. I would only do a short flight with 2 DC.

I flew alone with DS on a 9 hour flight when he was around 19 months.