I’m 33 and I’ve never had a smear test

[Spacehopp]

I’ve got a 3 year old son, but I had a c-section with him that I chose to have as I’m so scared of things being put inside me (I don’t mean a penis obviously, but ‘instruments’)

I refused all internal examinations while I was pregnant too.

So apart from sex and my mooncup I use every month when I’m on my period, I’ve not had anything put inside me or had a medical professional’s fingers etc in there.
The thought makes me feel physically ill.

I keep getting letters about the smear and just throwing them in the bin. I feel embarrassed about it. But I also think if men had to go through this kind of invasive procedure, they would have come up with something else by now.

You can do it your self.
id rather a smear than die

Hello?
No one else see this unnecessary picking / Bullying?
Just me?

@ChloeHel thinks it was aimed at her, was it not?

??? Who is this aimed at?

Find me a single person who's died or even come to harm from a smear test.

The whole reason under 25s don't get smear tests is because so many of them were receiving unnecessary treatment for cell changes that would never have gone on to harm them.

I have vaginismus and the only smear test I have ever had was done recently under anesthetic when I had a laparoscopy.

The doctor told me it isn't uncommon for women who have severe anxiety about it to get some form of sedation for it if it gets it done. I would never think in a million years this was possible, but discuss it with your gp and maybe there are options. Perhaps not everywhere would do this, but apparently it happens.

Oh look, another thread with a load of women who have researched little into smear tests, including the pros and cons, beyond the campaign posters, and manage to pile on and belittle and shame other women into following the herd, all the while claiming they are all for body autonomy. It would be laughable if it wasn’t so tragic.

Every woman should research thoroughly and decide for herself whether she believes there is a benefit. It’s got bugger all to do with anyone else. Or do you promote scaremongering and coercion in other areas of your life too?

OP, I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this.

OP, I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this.

She's only 'having to deal with this' because she started this thread. In AIBU.

Is vaginismus a good enough excuse for you or does that fall into the being a wet fish category? Because I’ve had multiple appointments at my local surgery followed by a hospital appointment. All failed. And in each case the doctor of nurse gently refused to continue after a certain point as I was in great pain and they were quite literally getting nowhere.

(Please don’t let this out you off op - mine were fine until I developed vaginismus and I have nothing bad to say about how I’ve been treated. Just correcting the posts that dismiss women who do experience pain.)

Lack of empathy is off the scale here.

They only test for HPV anyway now.

It's fine to opt out if that's what you want OP but you must accept and maybe prepare for any possible consequences of that. Make sure you've got life insurance and whatnot so if the worst happened your bairns are looked after. Hopefully never needed. Nobody should have something done to their body if they feel that strongly but must accept the risk.

All this frothing and foot stamping about the fact it hurts for some women is irrelevant to the OP. It's reasonable to assume that everyone has their own pain threshold and their own experience of 'bearable' pain or discomfort. The overall consensus is that smear tests are unpleasant but not painful for the vast majority of women. The OP however has NO IDEA whether a smear test is painful for her because she has never had one done. The only way she will ever find out is to overcome her anxiety about it (which I appreciate might not be possible) and get a smear test.

But the OP doesn't have vaginismous that we know of. She's spitting her dummy out because scientists apparently should find a better option.

Are we all meant to discourage and stop having what is essentially a very minor procedure with virtually no risk of serious harm just because a minority of people find it painful? Sorry but that's selfish and lacking empathy IMO. We're talking about something that saves lives. Of course you have the choice whether you have the test but you'll never convince me that refusing it is the sensible option

smear tests are no longer smear tests, they are unnecessarily invasive hpv tests.

you can get a diy hpv test in the post that are easy and you can do at home.

why anyone still chooses to go for smears if they are hpv negative and they have the option of a diy hpv test I don’t know.

I no longer have smear tests. I used to have them but they became more painful as I aged, not helped by a bitch of a nurse the last time. Absolutely my choice. No ‘frothing or foot stamping’ by the way. Who needs men being misogynists when you have the lovely women of mumsnet doing their work for them.

🙌
1000% this.

Are we all meant to discourage and stop having what is essentially a very minor procedure with virtually no risk of serious harm just because a minority of people find it painful?

No. But you should stop shaming, bullying and infantilising other women.

Go for one or don't go for one. Everyone has the choice, doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If you aren't going to go for one get yourself off the mailing list.

@Ahurricaneofjacarandas - read the first para of the post I responded to. I wasn’t commenting on op’s situation, and in fact I made sure to add that my post wasn’t intended to put her off. Not seeing how my own post shows a lack of empathy, but then on this thread it seems to be the thing to throw any accusation back, whether it makes sense or not.

It was squarely aimed at that particular post. And the others that are mocking other women.

Well of course women should take out life insurance, but the likelihood of needing that life insurance because of a delayed diagnosis of terminal cc is minuscule in comparison to the other risks in life. It's not even one of the most common cancers.

Get the screening if you wish. Stop shaming and bullying other women who make different choices.

I'm not bullying anyone thankyou. I've said nobody should have something done to their body if they don't want it.

There are around 850 deaths a year from cervical cancer. Small risk but still a risk you should prepare for because anyone with that kind of fear won't go for a diagnosis if they get symptoms anyroad. It's just practical.

Just ask the GP to stop the reminder letters. You can opt out of anything.

Most sane people want to minimise risk of terminal cancer not increase it by passing on life saving medical screening. But it seems arguing with women who skip smear tests (with no medical reason), is like arguing with a smoker about throat and lung cancer. There’s always an innate belief that it can’t happen to them and/or the smear test doesn’t work.

Hello op. I am similar to you in that it took me a long time. My advice is to go and make a really big song and dance about how bad it is for you. I actually cry as I get so nervous. They tend to be very understanding and very slow and stop if you don’t like it. At least then you have tried.

This might sound crazy but I spend the whole time picturing my little baby’s face and how I couldn’t leave him without a mother. I’d heard too many scary stories. This motivated me and I am so proud to say I did it. A friend of mine (early 30s) actually had to have some cancerous cells removed recently so I can tell you that it definitely happens to our age group and you have no symptoms. Very scary.

I wish they would change the way they advertise it though. They go on about embarrassment and why people don’t do it. They don’t seem to get that a lot of women actually have trauma and that most people I know who avoid it don’t avoid it due to embarrassment, but fear of pain. Big difference.

Just because you have a strong opinion about something doesn't mean you're immune to the facts. And somebody stating those facts doesn't mean you're being bullied or patronised. You're free to make whatever choice you want about your own body but you have to accept that many people don't view it as a wise decision. Don't expect people to alter reality and Science to fit your own narrative.

@Theluggage15 If I was being misogynistic (haha), I would have used the 'h' word ... you know the one? 'Frothing' and 'foot stamping' are neutral, unless of course they automatically make YOU think of women, which could be seen as a tad misogynistic - I guess.