To wonder how people manage their childcare when they work shifts?

[LittleFeet178]

Just this really.
DH and I both earn well and work full time. His is shifts which change every month and he has no control over and mine is office hours but can be very long and require weekend or evening working at limited notice.
DC1 has been in nursery full time since he was 6 months old which has been hugely expensive and still not given us the flexibility we need. We end up paying for nursery days in the week we don't need because DH is off and then I have to look after DC alone a lot at the weekend which is tricky if I suddenly have to work. Have also recently had DC2 so am on maternity leave and now trying to figure out a plan for childcare for 2.
I've just had a payrise which taken me over the threshold to get 30 free hours at nursery (DC just turned 3). So I've lost my 30 hours and will only now get 15 but my take home pay has actually gone down due to the additional tax I now have to pay (plus the NI changes I presume).
I applied for the pre school attached to the local primary school. I've just been told DC1 didn't get a place due to catchment even though we live in the same road as the school. I was hoping I could reduce my costs by getting wrap around for the pre school but that's not now an option.

I found a nanny agency who specialise in nannies for shift workers but they have said it would cost £3500-4000 per month for the baby not including DC1. We can't even come close to affording that!

Anyone else in this situation? How did you manage it? AIBU to be confused about how to sort this out?!

It’s v tricky and frustrating - I’m in same situation as you. We have just had to muddle through with 2 DC.

Childminders might be more flexible in the week but is an au pair an option? Might be more willing to help at weekends and appreciate flexibility elsewhere than a nanny from an agency.

Can't help on the childcare point but can on the 30 hours point. Contribute more to your pension to get you under the 30 hour threshold. You'll get the pensions taxbreak back plus the additional childcare funding. Save a fortune.

I don't know, but I know a couple who both work shifts (both healthcare related but different organisations) who have 2 small DCs - one pre school, one at Primary - and they have no family nearby to help. They use nursery and wrap around and I guess they must have some control over juggling their rotas to accommodate evenings/weekends between them. I have great admiration for their organisational skills.

Can you find a nursery that allows you to book in when you know your oh shifts?

Can your oh ask for set shifts?

We were really fortunate that there was a nursery by the hospital that catered for shifts. You booked it week by week for days you need and it opened until 10pm and weekends as well. It was a godsend when ours were small. Now our kids are at school we just make sure our shifts are opposite to each other but we both work shifts so that's doable for us.

Wish we had this! We're not medics and all the nurseries near us you have to commit to your days. Kinda wish one of us had become a doctor instead!

Shift work isn't family friendly. It is only possible if someone else is looking after the children, so family childcare or a partner who either doesn't work or pays out for childcare for their hours.

You have to just get childcare for the days you work. This will mean that sometimes you'll pay for childcare you dont need as dh is at home.

Assume your dh has formally asked for set shifts to allow for childcare to be scheduled? Part time and shift workers can ask for this as an adjustment. I know both police and firefighters who have had this agreed after previously having moving shifts, and one who had an agreement they would never be scheduled on a particular day, meaning at least that days childcare was sorted.

Long term its worth asking if your dh could move to a job with more regular hours.

Unfortunately the nursery can't keep an empty spot for as and when you need it. A older nanny might be more flexible, my friend has a lady whose in her early 60's who they give the shifts to 2 weeks ahead guaranteeing 30 hours minimum a week. As one of you has to earn over £100k to loose your free hours, you aren't exactly on the breadline!

I'm a shift worker and when DD was younger I did permanent nights whilst her dad worked during the day. It was very tiring but the only way it worked.

Now she's older and I'm a single parent still working shifts but I asked for a set working pattern and hours during the week and she can walk home from school and be on her own for a couple of hours. Family help at the weekend so I can do early starts and late finishes.

I would look for a contract Nanny - if you guaranteed hours per week and gave them a month in advance that might work?

Also my childminder used to do a ‘10 days a month’ contract with data agreed month by month. You could ask if something line that might be possible?

I don’t want to sound like a Cunt OP but if you’re earning over £100k and your husband earns well too then it’s might just be the case that it is what it is - you’ll be out of the mire in 3/4 years but still with your exceptional salary.

No but any nanny option I've looked at so far is way more than we can reasonably afford. We live in London so have a huge mortgage!

This is exactly the nanny option I've explored that comes in at £3500 per month 😕

Also re childminders I see on here all the time people talking about them as a more flexible option but round by us it doesn't seem that way. The nursery is 8-6 everyday but the childminders are way more restrictive - some don't start til 9, some finish at 4 (what use is that to anyone?), some are only term time. And on top of that all seem more expensive than nursery. There's a guy in the next road to me who charges £85 a day!

I never know whether I'm missing something or whether my area is just crap for childminders...

Well you know your situation OP but it feels a bit odd to find childcare so unaffordable with such a high income.

a Childminder for 17 hours a day (10 hours baby and 7 for wraparound) would be around £2600 a month and I’m in London.

yes you may have to pay for days you don’t use but it’s the cost of doing business.

Omg does it work like that?! They don’t look at your gross salary for the purposes of the funded hours?

All the childminders here do 7.30 to 6.00. They all do school and nursery drops and pick ups.

I wonder if you’re in a fancy part of London OP with more nannies than CM. I’m in a NOT fancy part so it’s different.

@MissChanandlerBong80

yup. You can do the same for child benefit too if you earn over the threshold but have to complete a self assessment in that particular instance.

Most people I know with shift work have a combination of

• some very flexible family help
• one or both working part time/flexibly (a former colleague had an office type role 3 days a week and they agreed she could move the days around to fit her DH shift pattern)
• a very very expensive nanny or au pair
• one parent sah

Ok this is new and very useful information to me. Thank you!

I haven't been able to find a CM prepared to do that but my nursery for 2 full time places will work out about £2700 per month. That covers me Mon-Fri but doesn't help with weekends.

Think the truth is there's no nifty answer to this it's 1) chin the weekends where I have to work and stick them in front of Peppa Pig 2) change my job for a more regular 9-5 so I'm reliably always free at weekends 3) win the lottery and pay for the fancy flexible nanny 4) DH tries to go PT (not on offer in his company at the moment but could be explored with them) - but even if he could get that agreed the shift pattern can't be fixed so we'd still have the same problem, just less often.

Any I'm missing?

I dropped my hours in the week so I work fixed days then pick up overtime almost every weekend. I also request the most antisocial shifts possible.
It can work but you either need local family to provide ad hoc childcare for a couple of hours here or there or one of you working regular hours so you can manage nursery. Even then it is a huge juggle and I live from week to week wondering when the next disaster will strike and one of us will need to take emergency annual leave!
On the plus side I get to school pick up a lot more than parents working a standard working day. It’s not easy though

Think you've probably hit the nail on the head with these, thank you!

I have my mother nearby but she doesn't do grandchildren! 😂

@LittleFeet178

Why can't either of your roles do set shifts?

Or request to work round each others shifts so you work opposite?

@InChocolateWeTrust

is correct I think.

Logistics are so hard. I had/have some family help but this was because they wanted to - not a necessity but VERY welcome.

Last year we had 5 days and the arrangements for every one was different and DH and I were all over the shop and we have ‘normal’ jobs.

I ended up dropping hours a bit from 30 to 26 which has helped.