NICU mums who have had a C section

[pedropony76]

Posting here for traffic so I can reach as many people as possible sorry.

I had DS on the 20th of April via planned C section. I had a traumatic birth with DD last year so I thought let me go for the planned C section, hopefully I’ll be home 2/3 days later. Well my son had other ideas and has now been in NICU for 5 weeks. Because I’ve been up and down everyday going to see him and sit with him every day. I now have an opening on my C section incision and the stitches are starting to unravel as I haven’t been resting. I’ve been put on antibiotics for 7 days and today has been the last day. I’ve just had a look and can see the opening is still as big as before. There’s also ooze, pus and a strong odour coming from the opening. All things that I had at the time of finding out I had an infection.

I know I need to call MAU and let them know what’s happening (I’m under the care of MAU for my postnatal care as I haven’t been discharged with the baby so I’m not under the care of the community midwives). I just wanted to see if anyone else has been in this situation. How the hell is it possible to rest when you have a newborn baby in NICU? What’s happened with your infection? Does anyone have any advice that doesn’t include ‘pls stay at home and rest’ as it’s just not possible. I have a 12 month old DD as well so my body is just being pushed to it’s limit. I’m in so much pain I walk with a limp on my right side where the opening is. To make things worse, I’ve recently split up with DP as the emotional and physical burden was constantly falling on me and I just can’t cope right now so everything is literally on me. Things are just unbearable right now. Pls help!

I really didn’t want to read and run as you are having a really rough time, but I don’t really have much helpful advice. I’ll just comment to post your post and I’m sure someone will be along soon who can help.
congrats on your little boy and I hope he’s home soon. ♥️

I am so sorry to hear this I had ds in the nicu for Weeks and then constantly readmitted till around 12 months old I used to wear very baggy maxi dresses with over the bump knickers and would put a maternity towel over the csection scar and every time I bent down or got up I held the sanitary towel with slight pressure over the scar to stop it keep breaking open. Not sure if this can work with a 12 month old though and all the lifting you have my sympathies and hope your ds is home soon!

Also no helpful advice but holy shit, this is a lot. Your ex-DP needs to step up much, much more to create ways in which you can heal. Do you have family support?

Please do get checked out OP. Its a really hard situation though, here we have tablets that can show a video stream to the mum in another ward if they are receiving care and their little one is in NICU. Not the same I know but brings some comfort. I'd mention it to the NICU nurses as well, I suspect you aren't the first and they might have some tips etc.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I had similar when my twins were in nicu. I had a minor infection and got antibiotics. Nothing like what you describe but it did make life more difficult. If you have to take a day (or longer) off from going to the NICU, that really is ok - you can phone them for updates about your baby - nobody will think anything of it. You must take at least one day to rest as much as you can. The guilt might feel crippling but you absolutely must take care of yourself.

Hi OP I had a similar situation to you and had dc in NICU after emergency c section as a lone parent and no support, my stitches also unraveled due to me trying to get everything done while travelling to see him.

I spoke to the nurses on his ward and they sent me to the maternity nursing team who gave me some compression dressings and things to use, I also recommend sanitary towels stuck to the front of your underwear to absorb leaks and keep you dry.

Make sure you are eating regularly and drinking a lot of fluids, in your situation it’s really easy to forget to take care of yourself but it’s crucial to your own recovery.

This was me 14 years ago and you have my sympathy, its very stressful and I can hardly think how I managed to get through it but you will get through to happier times.

Make sure you ask for help, don’t try to do everything yourself as there are plenty of people there to support if you need them- the NICU teams have seen it all before and will do all they can to help if you speak with them

I used dilute dettol on my scar - I had a small infection the first time and healed quickly the second and was less rested as I was readmitted 5 days pp.

I was there too op, so sending my love and wishing you strength . After 2 days I was discharged after my c section but ds was in NICU for 8 weeks. Every morning at 7am I took 2 buses to the hospital and every evening at 8.pm I took 2 buses home . I felt very alone . I was a new mum but without a midwife so I ended up taking out my own c section stitches in the shower. Try and rest as much as possible next to your little one . I had a chair and pillow next to his incubator and sat a read to him , did his cares and stroked his hands. I know it is hard , but I promise in time all of the physical and mental pain will slowly fade in your memories . I have the most beautiful, lively , amazing 6 year old now .
Sending you a massive hug x

Sorry to hear OP, that sounds like a tough situation. Is the baby breastfed? If not perhaps you could express and the nurses could feed him that or formula.

Also there are usually rooms for NICU parents, could you see if any are available so you can stay onsite and your other child could stay with her Dad? Mine was in NICU for 2 months, I understand how exhausting it is. You could try inadine patches too if not breastfeeding.

Could you ask about a vacuum dressing? I had one and it was excellent. Also ask for a MRSA swab. Hope you're feeling better soon xx

Sorry typing whilst distracted. I mean if the nurses could feed him you could have a day off. I did that now and again when I was just too exhausted & ill to go in. The baby was absolutely fine.

You poor love. I used to visit from 9- 2 then go home and sleep and that's all I could manage and I didn't have an older child or an infection. Ex do needs to help out NOW x

I had twins in NICU after a c section and I was sent home after 2 nights but they had to stay 3 weeks so I had to travel 40 mins each way every day to see them - I'd stay 9-5 and had a 4 year old child at home due to lockdown

Do you have family who can support if your ex DP can't?

I'd tell DP you may not be together now but he needs to step up and help out

Maybe just go for a couple of shorter days?

Are you breastfeeding?

You might feel like this is never going to end and you'll never get out of there - but you will.

Hey guys, thank you so much for the comments and support. It really means a lot🥲

To answer a few questions, I’m not breastfeeding but my son was struggling with bottle feeding to the point where his oxygen levels would drop dramatically everytime whilst feeding him. He has a specialist plan provided by the speech & language therapist but some of the nurses wouldn’t pay attention to it and would feed him like any other baby so I felt like I could never miss a feed. It’s only now that he’s been more stable with the feeds that I feel confident letting the majority of nurses do some feeds.

My ex DP stays with my DD all day. He gets to my house at 8 in the morning and leaves when I get back at 6. The problem is, is that it I stay home to rest, ex DP doesn’t go to the hospital. It’s so horrible and hurtful. He has no initiative or even desire to see how his son’s doing and try to create a bond with him even though he’s in hospital. So if I don’t see DS, no one will as there can only be two visitors and we’re not allowed to do any swapping.

I’ve not heard of the sanitary towel on the knickers to make sure the stitches are dry so I’ll try to do that. I have a fat belly that hangs over my stitches so I hope it still works😂 I’m so exhausted that I’ve told myself that I’ll stay home tomorrow. My mum will come to my house to look after DD whilst I can stay in bed for some hours. I feel so guilty and sad not seeing him tomorrow but he has an amazing nurse who knows him really well so I know he’ll be okay. As some as you have said, I can call the room at any time to check on him.

If there’s others reading this and have any advice on how to deal with a C section infection such as the one I have, I’d be super grateful to hear it. Thank you

I had a csection in September and dc was in NICU for 4 weeks, transferred to another hospital then back to ours. I didn't get an infection but did get a tiny gap, I went and got it checked out almost immediately. I was into the hospital every day every 3 hours, driving from day 5, doing food shopping etc and have 2 older dc so definitely wasn't resting, but I wore supportive high waisted leggings, moved gently, no strain on my mid section and made sure to wash and dry the area very carefully when showering. My phn checked my wound every few days for weeks, I'd be putting the blame on your care providers moreso than yourself, you need more intervention with the stitches than you've received.

You need to take care of yourself. You've had major surgery. I had a nicu baby and a c section but healed without any problems. It is hard to rest enough when you feel you need to be at the hospital all the time and are stuck with uncomfortable chairs and nowhere to rest. Can your ex do some shifts at the hospital while you doze on the sofa at home?

For the infection, go to the GP for stronger antibiotics, keep the wound clean and dry. I found airing it helped - laying flat on the bed with nothing on the wound as much as possible. Shame about DS dad but don't worry about that for now. His relationship with his son is his responsibility. You've got enough to worry about.

Also i carried on wearing my maternity clothes and huge knickers so that there were no seams anywhere near the wound.

Sounds awful OP!

I had a baby in NICU following a C-section but never got an infection or scar opening and definitely didn't rest after his birth.

I'd say though to get seen, take your meds and rest for a few days otherwise when baby is out you'll be know good to him as you're not going to get better.

Surely someone else could go and see baby, I know it's not the same and you don't want to be apart but you just gotta do these things sometimes.

Ask them to glue your cesarian if it keeps opening?

Yes my mum has said the exact same thing! She’s surprised that I’ve just been given antibiotics and that’s it. No date for a further check up or any intervention from anyone. I’ll be phone MAU to tell them I’m still struggling and still have this opening in my stitches but I’ll also contact my GP who’s really good and will probably see me ASAP. I’ve been ignoring the problem for so long just taking the antibiotics hoping they’ll do something yet I’ve still been in so much pain.

Thank you for the suggestions guys. I’ve been wearing high waisted leggings and high waisted elastic knickers to make sure nothing is near the incision line. I only wear a top in bed but because my belly sags and hangs over the stitches, it’s not really getting aired out as much as it would if I had a flat stomach. I have a handheld fan on my bed which helps keep it dry whilst I lift my belly up until I drift off. I’ve been wiping it and drying it throughout the day. I’ve been doing everything really yet the pain seems to be getting deeper to the point where it’s affecting my walking.

I’m so exhausted and constantly doing everything. I have to leave the hospital to buy nappies and so on for DS. I still have to do things for DD as ex DP is just so useless. He basically provides childcare for DD and that’s it. I just can’t bear the thought of staying home to rest whilst no one sees DS just because his dad is so selfish. My DS is also under the care of a physiotherapist, occupational therapist and neurologist so if I’m not there, I’ll miss his assessments and won’t be there to tell them how he’s been recently. It’s just so bloody difficult. Sorry for the rant but I’m just really exhausted. I’ve just turned 23 and I feel so out of my depth here

Hi ,I was in similar situation to you so I know how hard and heart wrenching it is everytime you leave your baby but they will be with you soon.As this is the case you need your wound healed up asap..now shower every morning, spray water over wound,after shower get a COOL hairdryer, lift any pouch/apron of fat tum carefully with one hand and waft air across wound until dry.Afterwaard place a sanitary dressing across your stitches ,do this till you heal..I've had 3 cesareans, I've always had a fat tum and done this .The staff checking me always use to comment on how clean and dry my wounds were in super quick time,so please give it a try.You need to be at your best for both your children's sakes xxx

I’ve been wiping it and drying it throughout the day. I’ve been doing everything really yet the pain seems to be getting deeper to the point where it’s affecting my walking

Pat it dry rather than wiping. I had a belly too, it does make it harder that's why i felt it was easier to lay flat on your back.

It sounds like the infection is getting worse, but I'm not an expert. I would definitely say you need to see your GP tomorrow. The doctors should be able to phone you after their rounds to talk about your baby's progress. When mine were in there were babies whose parents just couldn't ever make it to the unit - one family had 5 other children at home so they could only make it to see baby once every few days. That baby was still very well looked after. You have done your absolute best up till now - you are a fantastic mother. You're giving your babies your all - more than your all. Taking one day off going to the unit is still you doing your best - keeping yourself healthy enough to continue putting one foot in front of the other. Don't burn out for the sake of a day or two of rest. Your baby is safe, and being cared for. Even after just one day you'll feel so much more rejuvenated. Don't feel guilty.

If your ex isn't willing to see the baby, can your mum go? Then you know someone you trust has been to see him.

Thank you for both of your comments!
I shower everyday and wash the wound (sorry I did say I wipe it but I do actually dab and not wipe). I will definitely try this sanitary towel on the the front of the knickers to keep the wound dry as mine is continuously moist no matter how many times I dab it throughout the day whilst I’m in NICU!

I really appreciate the comment @Badqueen thank you. I have a GP appointment today at 11:30 so hopefully my doctor can look at the wound and see what can be done. I’ve also called my son’s nurse and she’s told me how he’s been throughout the night and has told me what’s been said on the ward rounds. I still feel really bad but I know he’ll be okay. Unfortunately because of Covid only two people are allowed to be with the baby and it has to be your birthing partner. You’re not allowed to swap no matter the circumstance. I’ve already begged and pleaded with the Matron but she’s like a scary headteacher so the answer was no. So annoying!