NICU mums who have had a C section

[pedropony76]

Posting here for traffic so I can reach as many people as possible sorry.

I had DS on the 20th of April via planned C section. I had a traumatic birth with DD last year so I thought let me go for the planned C section, hopefully I’ll be home 2/3 days later. Well my son had other ideas and has now been in NICU for 5 weeks. Because I’ve been up and down everyday going to see him and sit with him every day. I now have an opening on my C section incision and the stitches are starting to unravel as I haven’t been resting. I’ve been put on antibiotics for 7 days and today has been the last day. I’ve just had a look and can see the opening is still as big as before. There’s also ooze, pus and a strong odour coming from the opening. All things that I had at the time of finding out I had an infection.

I know I need to call MAU and let them know what’s happening (I’m under the care of MAU for my postnatal care as I haven’t been discharged with the baby so I’m not under the care of the community midwives). I just wanted to see if anyone else has been in this situation. How the hell is it possible to rest when you have a newborn baby in NICU? What’s happened with your infection? Does anyone have any advice that doesn’t include ‘pls stay at home and rest’ as it’s just not possible. I have a 12 month old DD as well so my body is just being pushed to it’s limit. I’m in so much pain I walk with a limp on my right side where the opening is. To make things worse, I’ve recently split up with DP as the emotional and physical burden was constantly falling on me and I just can’t cope right now so everything is literally on me. Things are just unbearable right now. Pls help!

Its shame the matron is being so bloody minded about it. Could you consider talking to PALS at the hospital your baby is in to see if they can help you with getting your mum in if that's what you want? Mine are 6 now but when they were in pre covid we had to name certain people as being allowed in - we were allowed 4 in addition to us. If your exdp won't ever be going in, then it makes no earthly difference to the hospital if the other visitor is your mum or your exdp but it'll make the world of difference to you. They should be trying to support your mental health. Unfortunately it wasn't until i basically had a breakdown on the nicu ward that they noticed i wasnt coping and made some changes to the way i was being dealt with. I think the NICU mine were on had a very long way to go in the way they treated mothers.

Otherwise bliss is a good charity to contact - they have lots of resources and email/video call support. They might be able to assist you in what your rights are, or giving you additional help in some way.

Good luck at the doctors.

I would just force yourself to have a routine of sorts to allow you to rest

Can you not visit Mondays and Thursdays for example. And use those days to rest if your mum will have 1 year old in the mornings, and then spend time with 1 year old in the afternoon at home resting together.

Also online shopping. You can get all nappies and food etc delivered one evening so you aren’t doing extra waking around. Or Amazon does bulk packs

And delegate. I would just tell your partner he has to go and see baby Mondays and Thursdays. And that you need xyz nappies and basics ordered for them both

Hi,I'm sorry I didnt mean to imply you didnt shower or keep it clean everyday in my comment .I meant just after your shower dry your wound with cool hairdryer instead of dabbing it with towel.It makes all the difference as does the pad on top.
Like everyone else I think a doc really needs to swab your infection and get you on correct antibiotics. You need to be well before your baby comes home as you have alot on your plate.
I wish you all the best and I will be thinking of you and your little family xxx

Go to your mums and sleep. Dont tell ex, he doesnt have to know your not at the hospital.

I know a small amount of what you're going through having had a c section and a child in NICU for 2 weeks. I healed very well. But I was beyond exhausted by the time my son was discharged. I used to say, it was like having a baby then going back to work, including the commute the very next day. You must prioritise yourself. I understand how you feel about your poor baby in hospital but you must rest. If that means no one sees him that day, so be it.

Yes, the suggestion of going to your mums to rest whilst partner had eldest is a good one. You could go half day to baby, half to mums as well if you want an in between option

Thank you so much guys.

The Matron is literally so strict everyone’s so scared of her😂 first thing she does is come in all the rooms and find things to tell the staff off about, bless them. I could speak with PALS but tbh I have such little energy I’ve just accepted that it’ll only be visiting and spending as much time with DS as possible.

My mum is also encouraging me to try and have two days off to rest but I’m really struggling with the thought of it. It may be a good idea to see the baby in the morning and rest at my mum’s house for a few hours whilst my ex is with DD. I may try that next week and see how I get on as I’m so terribly exhausted. My body has never known a tiredness like this, it’s all too much.

@sashadasher haha no don’t worry I know exactly what you meant. I’ll try the hairdryer and will definitely try the pad on the wound. The GP gave me dressing to use for the moistness of the wound and another 7 day course of antibiotics. He also gave me pain relief and has said the opening will definitely heal on it’s own. I have to try as best as possible to lie down for a small period everyday just to make sure I’m resting however he knows how hard it must be.

Luckily my mum is having my daughter to stay over at her house tomorrow night. So I’ll be able to have a rest Saturday morning and can get to the hospital around 12 as they do ward rounds in the afternoon on the weekends. Thank you for the thoughts, comments and suggestions so far. They’ve been so helpful thank you x