I will start by saying I have an unblemished 10 year record of no fights with school mums. My approach has always been to be nice to everyone, smile, rise above and get on with my life and this perhaps led me to putting up with nonsense from this one particular mother for way too long.
Anyway I had avoided her for some time due to her trying to shut down my son's birthday by saying it was a corona risk (it was within rules at the time, every other parent RSVP'd yes in record time just to get a break, even a child getting a split lip at the party was not picked up until it was over, so she was definitely the only parent who cared.) As a "goodwill gesture" I agreed to have her child over that week for the day. She had actually pushed for a sleepover the day before the party and I said no to that, then on the day she was late picking him up and then sent a message commenting on all the "carbs" and "party food" I'd given him (our usual diet.) At the point I decided to avoid her.
She then messaged me to say that my kid had been asking hers for a playdate and could I host. Stupidly I said yes, mostly because if my son had asked I would try to encourage the friendship and I actually feel sorry for the kid.
I then saw her that day at school when i was due to pick him up. She has started volunteering at the kids club group (they offer free activities for kids in lunchbreak). They were having a coffee morning, I think to try and drum up membership which was falling due to corona. Like many, we were members but left during corona as we weren't getting anything out of it, and we also got hit very hard financially as we are both freelance. Plus our older son never used the clubs. Anyway I went over to ask about volunteering. And in front of a load of people she asked me, really loudly, "ARE YOU A MEMBER?". I had to explain in front of other parents that I wasn't, we had left during corona and hadn't re-joined. And she said "OH WOULD YOU LIKE A FORM!".
I was so furious as we are worried about money. Our situation is not dire, but it's on our minds. And I'm pretty sure she would have checked out every single parents membership status anyway - she is that kind of person. And she didn't ask anyone else.
Anyway I messaged her saying I thought she was innappropriate and rude and our financial priorities are our concern and none of her business. And in future don't ask me to have her son.
She messaged back saying she was sincerely sorry but at the end of the day they are volunteers and just want what's best for the kids and they were asking everyone (they weren't, I was the only one who go asked and everyone looked mortified.)
There is loads more backstory, mostly about her sending me catty messages and making catty comments and pestering me for childcare, but I have already gone on enough. I am now worried about what she will do next. She's quite vicious and I just don't need it. I've blocked her on WhatsApp thank god.