AIBU to want to pull ds from nursery

[Hiddyhi]

My ds has started nursery recently. He's recently started having a severe reaction saying no nursery at home and everytime we approach the nursery road starts screaming and crying, arching his back saying no nursery no nursery please no nursery and refusing to go in without a complete meltdown where he is hyperventilating. He is often hoarse when I pick him up I pressume from where he has been crying so much and he is always in tears when I collect him. Nursery say this is normal in the early days.

I only put him twice a week for a break because I have a new baby and he loves other kids so thought it would be good socialisation for him. I am fully aware a lot of people don't have this luxury so not looking to provoke, just wondering what others would do if you didn't have to send dc in would you just keep them home if you could?

OP I've been there but my DS was three. What is your gut instinct? Do you like the place? Do you get a good vibe from there? I sent my son to pre school in the crèche I had previously used when I worked. He hadn't been there since he was one so he has no recollection of it and he hated the place. I had always been happy with the place and I'd used it for full time care for my eldest but I think things had gone downhill and it took me a while to realise it. I'd never had any issues when I'd used it previously. I regret not removing him sooner. I moved him to a small stand alone pre school and it was like night and day .

Nursery say this is normal in the early days.

^ this hasn't been my experience but it depends on lots of factors.

Given what you've posted about your own situation I'd pull him out and if you want time just you and baby see if you can do playdates with a friend's child in turns or hire a babysitter to look after him at home for the odd half day here and there.

Absolute nonsense that you need to send your kids to nursery from being babies or they’ll dislike it.

My dd is 2.5 and i put her in nursery one afternoon for a break. I had to switch her from afternoons because she still sleeps late morning, so with missing her sleep and doing 3 hours at nursery, she was a miserable wreck and not enjoying it. I switched her to mornings, which is a massive rush as i have 15 min turn around from getting ds in school then walk back to the nursery but shes much happier. Shes very much locked into her routine and she did get anxious at the beginning and upset but soon stopped, some week she still cries, last few she hasnt but with half term soon, i expect shell be unsettled again on returning for a bit. Nursery has said shes asking for her comfort blanky less and didnt notice when they whipped it away last week.

I'd pull him. Nothing wrong with having tried it but 2 is an awkward age for it. I'd try again in a year if it were me.

I'd say it is very traumatic for him. If you don't need the childcare, I would pull him out. In a year's time it should be better.

I think 2 mornings is not ideal for settling in purposes really.As an ex Nursery School Teacher ,I think that if he is so upset then maybe take him out for a bit? The timing as well with a new baby is difficult .He may feel unsettled .You could always try again in the Autumn term .May be worth looking at other Nurseries as well .Just to see whats out there

I'd definitely pull him out.

I sent my son who was 1.5/2 to a local nursery and he hated it...

Found a much better one with forest school which he loved!

The first nursery had an ofsted inspection and few months later and was SHUT down as it was awful!

Imo this is normal at drop off at that age but they absolutely should be calling you to let you know he has settled or saying you can call mid morning and check he is ok!!