Leaving baby in buggy when going for swim

[Popsicle72]

I’m on a forum for outdoor swimmers and spotted this argument a few days ago. A mum was looking for advice about dryrobe to use. She mentioned she leaves her baby in buggy when she goes for a swim. Lots of people gave dryrobe recommendations and then someone pointed out how irresponsible it is to consider going off for swim and leaving baby in buggy. Such an argument/debate followed. I am in agreement that’s it’s very irresponsible but just wondered what others think? Sometimes I think I worry too much about child safety

Can’t believe there’s even a debate about this. Of course it’s irresponsible. Ridiculous.

Im in a group of wild swimming mums, we split the group in half and take it in turns to watch any babies & toddlers that come along. I wouldn't go alone, too risky.

Really irresponsible.
I do wild swimming. I worry enough about my clothes getting nicked!!!
Anything could happen to the Mum in the water never mind the baby on the bank.
It always takes longer than you think to get back to the bank and in an emergency with the baby those extra seconds could be fatal.
I don't need to list the things which could happen, others have done that already. I just cannot believe anyone thinks this is ok.

A friend of mine from school was left on a beach in Majorca as a toddler (with friends) and his mum went out for a swim. She drowned. She was a single mum and it was desperately sad.

its an irresponsible thing to do

Wild swimming alone?

She's batshit and I'd be reporting her.

I mean while I wouldn’t say this is something I would generally recommend I think so much depends on the m specific circumstances it’s impossible to say that this particular mum is making irresponsible choices.

Leaving the buggy in a safe location while mum has a quick dip in a shallow lake maybe no more unsafe than things that people do routinely, but people generally over estimate the risk associated with ‘unusual’ activities and underestimate the risk associated with the everyday.

I often see people leaving buggies held by their brake in car parks etc where a brake failure could be just as catastrophic as by a pool, but that’s not considered irresponsible.

The closet I came to disaster when I had a baby was falling down the stairs with my newborn - when I shared this story it was surprising how many people had had similar accidents. No one suggests you shouldn’t carry your baby down stairs.

In other countries people regularly leave their baby outside in buggies whilst they go in a cafe for a coffee etc. However obviously with swimming there is that safety factor of something happening in the water and the baby being left alone. However if there is a group swimming not too much of an issue.

I often see people leaving buggies held by their brake in car parks etc where a brake failure could be just as catastrophic as by a pool, but that’s not considered irresponsible.

Presumably the parent is standing nearby to the pram in this scenario, though, and able to quickly grab it if the brake failed. Reaction time would be significantly slower if you had to wade out of water first to get to the buggy.

It doesn’t take long for a buggy to silently roll away from you. It’s happened to me - stopped on the street to tie my shoelace, brake hadn’t engaged properly and by the time I looked up I had to chase the buggy down the road. Fortunately no harm done but gave me a fright.

whereas if I were leaving a buggy near water while I was swimming you could be damn sure I would have risk assessed it very carefully (not leaving it on a slope pointing towards the water, for example!).

again, not saying that it’s a generally advisable thing to do but I don’t think in a carefully judged situation it’s inherently particularly dangerous.

None of these things you suggest are really optional though are they?

If you drive, you will have to park the buggy next to you at the car while you get the baby in and out.

If you ever want or need to go anywhere but ground level then you need to carry the baby up and down the stairs.

Putting these in the same category as choosing to leave your baby unsupervised on the edge of a lake or pond while you swim is batshit.

Kind of off point but I read recently that in Denmark its really common to leave your baby in a buggy when you go into shops or into a Cafe! Apparently often buggies will be lined up outside restaurants! Even in freezing temperatures (babies are wrapped up)

None of these things you suggest are really optional though are they?

Yes and no - if your buggy ran away from you in car park when you’d driven somewhere for coffee and cake would that be negligent but it wouldn’t be if you were out doing the food shop? Should you avoid taking your baby anywhere in the car unless it’s an essential trip. My point was we don’t really think about those kind of every day risks but we overplay risks of anything unusual.

Thinking about what people have suggested as reasons for not doing it:

-Baby being kidnapped (vanishingly unlikely)
-Buggy rolling into water (risk can be easily minimised)
-Mother gets into trouble in water (possible but unlikely for sn experienced swimmer in a low risk environment)
-Baby is unsettled/unwell (possible but really no more likely than leaving baby in next room for a nap).

I wild swim a bit and there are places and times I wouldn’t even conceive of the idea of leaving a baby but there are some places I’ve swum before where I could imagine a restorative 5-10 min dip while baby was having a nap in the buggy a couple of metres away would be perfectly possible and safe.

once I was cross country skiing in Sweden in freezing conditions and stopped at a hut in the middle of nowhere to find a sledge outside, on its own, with a baby lying sleeping inside, lying in a fur blanket. Mum and Dad were inside the hut (complete out of sight and earshot) having lunch. Totally different mindset!

Context is everything.

I can totally see a situation where I'd leave sleeping DD in her pram on the river bank of my swimming spot. She would be in sight at all times and I wouldn't have been alone in the water. She'd have been closer than she sometimes is if she's sleeping in her pram at the park when I'm pushing DS on the swings.

Kind of off point but I read recently that in Denmark its really common to leave your baby in a buggy when you go into shops or into a Cafe! Apparently often buggies will be lined up outside restaurants! Even in freezing temperatures (babies are wrapped up)

Completely normal across all of Scandinavia, including Iceland.

My dad's Danish and he used to put us outside in all weathers to nap. I put my daughter at the end of the garden to sleep but was very fair weather about it - I could never be bothered to get her in a snowsuit to sleep. Dad looked after her once and she was out there in a howling rain - he told me, in his extremely Danish way, that it was nature's white noise 🤷🏼‍♀️

There should be 3, two in the water (wild swimming solo is dangerous) one watching the baby. Madness to go alone and leave a baby unattended.

When my kids were young (primary school age) I would sometimes run around the edge of the playing field in the village whilst they played in the middle on the equipment. That's about as close to this scenario as I've got.

I have swum outside for years and never done it with children on their own on the bank. The thought makes me feel very uncomfortable.

I saw this and the lady used friends to watch the baby.

This makes me think of Naya Rivera - she was a strong swimmer too

The wild swimming alone element us the big risk here. Anykne remember the film Open Water: Adrift where they all jump off a boat leavinbg a baby alone then realise there's no ladder. One by one picked off by sharks. Bit of a lame film but the thought of the baby left alone is more terrifying than thr thought of being shark food.

If it’s the post @SaggyBlinders shared on the first page then there is very little context there and the ‘planning/luck’ the swimmer mentions could easily be referring to arranging for someone else to watch baby while she swims.

OP I think YABU to ask a whole forum of strangers to judge and bash this anonymous woman based on a post you saw. You’ve basically inviting people to let their imaginations run wild and slag off this woman without really knowing anything about her or her situation whatsoever.

Open water is about being a "strong swimmer" - its more about knowing the risks of cold water and flowing water. People can be strong swimmers in pools and struggle in open water.

There's a difference between climbing onto a boat and walking out of the water onto a riverbank or lake shore for instance.

I saw this and the lady used friends to watch the baby.

Ah, and so now we get the full story where there's a totally different scenario - yet so many have jumped to slate the woman as irresponsible.

For more context, the comments circled in red are by the OP of the original thread on the Facebook group. She goes alone with the baby, and leaves her on the bank asleep.

I don't think the OP of this thread is being unreasonable, there are no comments about how it might not be the best idea to wild swim alone with a baby and leave them in a buggy on the bank on the original thread. The 'negative' comments must have all been deleted, so can see why the OP of this thread is a bit confused and wanted further opinions about it. I'm surprised that the admin on the group deleted all the other comments.

It's neglectful especially if she's solo swimming. Putting aside the risk to the child whilst she's swimming, what if something happened to her and the baby was just left there in a secluded place!

I reported a couple to lifeguards for leaving their baby in a pram with a muslin covering it whilst they went swimming. It was a really hot day and I was really worried about the baby. They were gone ages.

Someone else had noticed before the lifeguard got there and took the muslin off the pram. The parents had apparently not seen this and carried on swimming around.

I think the outcome was just advice given but I was shocked anyone would do that.