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Original poster

Leaving baby in buggy when going for swim

108 replies

Popsicle72 · 24/05/2022 08:29

I’m on a forum for outdoor swimmers and spotted this argument a few days ago. A mum was looking for advice about dryrobe to use. She mentioned she leaves her baby in buggy when she goes for a swim. Lots of people gave dryrobe recommendations and then someone pointed out how irresponsible it is to consider going off for swim and leaving baby in buggy. Such an argument/debate followed. I am in agreement that’s it’s very irresponsible but just wondered what others think? Sometimes I think I worry too much about child safety

OP posts:
postbabyfitness · 24/05/2022 11:05

I go by the principle that if I haven't got either eyes or ears (preferably both) on my baby at all times when she is in my sole care, then I'm not comfortable. I would struggle to have either eyes or ears consistently on her whilst swimming in a lake or whatever whilst she sits in her buggy. That makes me feel so far beyond comfortable I can't even describe.

Howabsolutelyfanfuckingtastic · 24/05/2022 11:06

Googlecanthelpme · 24/05/2022 09:16

Wild swimming alone and leaving baby in the buggy unattended - hell no!

what the actual fuck?

99% of the time it’s going to be absolutely fine isn’t it. It’s very very unlikely that anyone is going to come along and take or hurt baby. Like super unlikely.
But it’s not impossible. Because it happens, babies are snatched, kids are taken.

On the basis that I do not even want to take a 1% chance that something could happen to my child then no I absolutely would not and could not ever do this.

Some people are ok taking that small chance aren’t they.

Perhaps those people do not listen to true crime podcasts and do not understand that all it takes is to be in the wrong place and the wrong time.

Was going to say similar, definitely not acceptable to do that!!

LunaMoonHare · 24/05/2022 11:11

DoYouZoo · 24/05/2022 10:54

Too many factors we don't know and that the post doesn't explain to pass comment or judgement.

You don't know how far away the mother is, you don't know how long she is away for, and you don't know if someone knows where she is and what her expected time of return is.

Mothers (and let's face it, it's always mothers who get told they are being neglectful in these situations) are at risk of accidents 24 hours a day - they simply cannot always predict what will happen even when they are at home.

It's a sad reality that accidents happen and yes, babies can be impacted when it happens to a mother - but should we really be stopping mothers from doing activities they enjoy? Particularly when those activities have proven positive benefits to mental and physical health?

We don't know the situation, we don't know what risk assessment or safety plan the mother has in place - we simply cannot say if it is right or wrong that it happens.

Well we know that the mother would be in open water away from a baby with the risk of something happening to her, or something happening to the baby. If she's in water she can't get back to the baby instantly. What time the brake fails on the pushchair? Baby escapes? Baby is kidnapped? Not likely but not impossible?

This isn't some sexist thing against mothers- it's the same for fathers, surely?

How can you compare to other accidents that happen that are far more difficult to predict? This has such obvious risks to it.

No one says that women should stopped from doing hobbies they enjoy. But anyone with children has to make sure their children are safely looked after when they're doing so. Leaving a baby by the side of open water is not making sure they are looked after properly. It's incredibly stupid.

Go open water swimming, go out every night, go on a 2 week long child free holiday for all I care, nothing wrong in still doing the things you enjoy and I don't judge anyone who still wants to do any of those things. But make sure you children are safe and being looked after properly. That's just the most basic element of being a parent surely? Making sure they are safe?

Change123today · 24/05/2022 11:13

Water and wheels doesn’t sound right mix.

Even if she is close by and just paddling the pushchair could very quickly end up in the water and something tragic could happen!!

postbabyfitness · 24/05/2022 11:14

Go open water swimming, go out every night, go on a 2 week long child free holiday for all I care, nothing wrong in still doing the things you enjoy and I don't judge anyone who still wants to do any of those things. But make sure you children are safe and being looked after properly. That's just the most basic element of being a parent surely? Making sure they are safe?

Absolutely. Would have assumed this was just common sense tbh.

LunaMoonHare · 24/05/2022 11:18

Exactly @postbabyfitness. It's so important to carry on doing the things you enjoy doing after having DC. And still possible especially if you're lucky enough to have friends/family who are happy to help out. Nothing wrong in doing off to do hobbies etc child-free- the first step is making sure you have suitable childcare though surely?!

I cannot believe that anyone would feel comfortable doing this- it's shocking tbh.

runnerswimmer · 24/05/2022 11:29

I am an ex beach lifeguard (not in the uk), and this would raise serious safeguarding issues. The two big issues, what would happen to the baby if the parent got into trouble in the water, or if the baby was put in danger (freak accident, kidknapping etc). Technically there would be nothing we could do but we would strongly advice the parent not to leave the child unattended. We had other duties so could not mind said child (we got asked a few times by CFs who expected us to 'keep an eye' on their child whilst going for a swim).

I mean we could call the cops but by the time they got there the parent would have finished their swim.

Youdoyoutoday · 24/05/2022 11:29

my immediate thought was my local outdoor pool is secure at both the entrance and exit, i guess you could park a buggy up by the bench and keep an eye on the baby whilst swimming but to read that she goes wild swimming alone is just plain fucking crazy!!

And you can't compare walking alone with a buggy to swimming away from your buggy, what if the wind picked up, the brake is actually on properly...... my goodness, i'm clutching my pearls!!

As previous poster said, ensuring our kids are safe is the most fundamental part of parenting! You don't have to stop the things you enjoy but that shouldn't be at the cost of your child's safety. You wouldn't take a baby to your best mate's hen do just because you don't want to stop the things you enjoy, you'd get a babysitter! Just because this is a day time activity, doesn't make it less dangerous!
Some people!

HappyGoDucky · 24/05/2022 11:29

DingleyDel · 24/05/2022 08:53

If you are just swimming up and down within a pool sized area whilst you baby is in sight I don’t see a problem. I used to leave baby dc in their car seat on the side of the pool occasionally whilst I had a quick dip either before or after taking them.

I know this isn't the point of actual post but this would not be allowed these days If any pool allows it then they are seriously breaching lifeguarding regs.

yellowsuninthesky · 24/05/2022 11:31

police would be called and consider child neglect. This happens also of someone reports a baby being left in car whilst parents goes into petrol station shop

complete nonsense

yellowsuninthesky · 24/05/2022 11:31

I know this isn't the point of actual post but this would not be allowed these days If any pool allows it then they are seriously breaching lifeguarding regs

They are not, because it's nothing to do with lifeguarding. It may breach other rules.

HappyGoDucky · 24/05/2022 11:32

BogRollBOGOF · 24/05/2022 09:26

When my two were little they had back to back swimming lessons. Initially baby was in his car seat, then the play pen during DS1's lessons, and DS1 sat poolside during DS2's lessons, he was 2 and old enough to play with his toys and understand that he and baby took turns to swim (turns out he has ASD which was why he was pretty patient and complient). Critically there was a teacher/ lifeguard next to him and in a shallow teaching pool, I was never far away.

I "wild swim" solo. My children are much older now and can swim, but I still wouldn't mix the two. I wouldn't leave a baby in a pram as to be in deep enough water to be shoulder deep, and have gentle enough access in and out, you're not that close. It's not long before babies can wriggle out of straps and if they are young enough that's pretty bloody young to be left with minimal supervision.

Swimming in cold water is not free from the chance of unpredictable risk even if experienced with excellent local knowledge and it's a bad idea in case of a random incident involving mother or baby.

If there is someone consistently with baby aware that they are monitoring them, that's a different situation.

Leaving baby/child under 8 breaches lifeguarding regs these days. Lifeguard/ teacher can not take responsibility and parent/guardian I water can't be classed as supervising.

yellowsuninthesky · 24/05/2022 11:33

You wouldn't take a baby to your best mate's hen do just because you don't want to stop the things you enjoy, you'd get a babysitter

Erm I think there have been posts on here where people have suggested doing exactly that (ie taking baby to the party, not getting a babysitter).

Imaginary · 24/05/2022 11:33

Even thinking about it makes me feel uneasy.
Sounds extremely irresponsible.

Perhaps those people do not listen to true crime podcasts and do not understand that all it takes is to be in the wrong place and the wrong time.

And it's not just being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Someone could notice the pattern - e.g. she goes swimming alone every Sunday and leaves baby unattended - and kidnap the baby.

LunaMoonHare · 24/05/2022 11:34

yellowsuninthesky · 24/05/2022 11:33

You wouldn't take a baby to your best mate's hen do just because you don't want to stop the things you enjoy, you'd get a babysitter

Erm I think there have been posts on here where people have suggested doing exactly that (ie taking baby to the party, not getting a babysitter).

Rather than the obvious 'don't go!' if you haven't got suitable childcare.

Honest to god I despair of people.

HappyGoDucky · 24/05/2022 11:34

yellowsuninthesky · 24/05/2022 11:31

I know this isn't the point of actual post but this would not be allowed these days If any pool allows it then they are seriously breaching lifeguarding regs

They are not, because it's nothing to do with lifeguarding. It may breach other rules.

I was quoting a PP regarding leaving a car seat on poolside. I am correct I'm a RLSS trainer assessor.

GoFishandChips · 24/05/2022 11:36

I think the bigger risk is something happens to her in the water and she is incapacitated and can't get help or worse she drowns and baby is left until someone notices she's missing, comes across them.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 24/05/2022 11:37

Can you imagine if someone posted on here that her husband was cycling round a track and leaving their baby strapped in its buggy on the edge of the field/track?

Not a single post would appear to justify it in any way.

Youdoyoutoday · 24/05/2022 11:37

yellowsuninthesky · 24/05/2022 11:33

You wouldn't take a baby to your best mate's hen do just because you don't want to stop the things you enjoy, you'd get a babysitter

Erm I think there have been posts on here where people have suggested doing exactly that (ie taking baby to the party, not getting a babysitter).

well I was thinking more nightclub hen do, not acceptable, dinner in a restaurant, not so bad I guess but still not ideal!

Stompythedinosaur · 24/05/2022 11:37

I'm definitely on the "It is neglectful to leave an unsupervised baby in a buggy in a public place next to water" team.

LunaMoonHare · 24/05/2022 11:39

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 24/05/2022 11:37

Can you imagine if someone posted on here that her husband was cycling round a track and leaving their baby strapped in its buggy on the edge of the field/track?

Not a single post would appear to justify it in any way.

Yet a pp tried to make it about sex earlier saying that 'it's always mums' or some such nonsense.

No- decent parents who look after their children properly judge inadequate parents of either sex who fail to ensure their children are safe.

TheOrigRights · 24/05/2022 11:46

She shouldn't really be swimming alone in a remote area, baby in buggy on the shore or not.

CountTheStars · 24/05/2022 11:52

Christ no. Buggy + wheels + water + no attendance = recipe for disaster.

Who would actually do this? It's asking for trouble surely?

seperatedmum · 24/05/2022 11:52

I wondered when this was coming 😬 it wasn't me and I don't as approve but yeah I'm on that group too, lots of swimmers falling over themselves not to offend the swimmer mum because "you do you" nowadays 🙄

CountTheStars · 24/05/2022 11:58

Just thinking about a buggy rolling into the water and the mum being too far away to get to it in time makes me feel sick