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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Great orgasm, but this has irked me

32 replies

Ncbecauseouting · 23/05/2022 21:43

DP and I are trying for baby number 2. We had sex and it was fine, nothing mind blowing, and he got off. All good. I don’t always orgasm during sex so usually we’ll move to masturbation afterwards so I can ‘finish’. We did just that but this time, it was like he was in a huge rush, i felt really under pressure to finish. I had a great orgasm considering, but as soon as I was done he got straight up, dressed, and went downstairs for a cigarette leaving me just lying there while I was still catching my breath. AIBU to think this was really rude? feeling quite irked by this and have asked him what’s up but he’s adamant he’s fine. Not sure if I’m just overreacting but it felt really inconsiderate.

OP posts:
GregBrawlsInDogJail · 23/05/2022 21:46

I mean from the description I'd presume he just really had a craving for a fag. But it's rude and off-putting to be clearly thinking "hurry up" and I'd tell him you'd rather he just didn't bother next time if he's not able to be in the moment with you.

(Private reflection: not enough threads start with "great orgasm, but".)

Original poster
Ncbecauseouting · 23/05/2022 21:47

@GregBrawlsInDogJail thats how I’d feel! Rather he just went for a cigarette in the first place!

OP posts:
BiscuitLover3678 · 23/05/2022 21:49

Tell him. It’s the only way op! And yes it would annoy me. Baby making can make it a bit of a chore ar times.

StopStartStop · 23/05/2022 21:50

Definitely clickbait... I'll remember that in future... 'Great orgasm but... there was nowhere to park at the mall'... 'Great orgasm but... the dress was too tight in the sleeves'....

OP, is he fed up of being the sperm-provider? Does he really want Baby2? If he's fully keen, he's rude.

Original poster
Ncbecauseouting · 23/05/2022 21:52

Haha @StopStartStop i didn’t mean for clickbait! But it is, quite. We’ve only just decided to start trying so to be fed up so quickly would be upsetting. He seemed committed but maybe he’s not.

OP posts:
grapewines · 23/05/2022 21:53

Are you on a schedule because of TTC, so set times and zero spontaneity? Cos that would maybe explain it.

Movingsoon21 · 23/05/2022 21:54

YANBU sex should be about mutual pleasure but he clearly wasn’t interested in making sure you got yours. I’d have a word.

fluffycereal · 23/05/2022 21:55

Is the baby making the reason he is to finish before you? It can be off putting for some that the usually free and spontaneous sex has suddenly become methodical.

Original poster
Ncbecauseouting · 23/05/2022 21:56

@grapewines no we’ve decided to go with the flow and just not stress and let things happen naturally, as we conceived quickly with DS this way, it was more fun, too. But tonight he’s just been glued to his phone either in the bathroom or outside smoking, it was like he couldn’t wait for it to be over!

OP posts:
N0tfinished · 23/05/2022 21:56

@StopStartStop GrinGrinGrin classic!!!

OP, I'd wonder if he's a little conflicted about TTC'ing?

YeetTheTeets · 23/05/2022 21:58

Yeah that would grate on me. I like a moment of post sex giggly bonding.

grapewines · 23/05/2022 22:19

Ncbecauseouting · 23/05/2022 21:56

@grapewines no we’ve decided to go with the flow and just not stress and let things happen naturally, as we conceived quickly with DS this way, it was more fun, too. But tonight he’s just been glued to his phone either in the bathroom or outside smoking, it was like he couldn’t wait for it to be over!

That sounds shit. I'd have to say something.

Maurepas · 23/05/2022 22:22

He should not be smoking especially if TTC.

C152 · 23/05/2022 22:24

Maybe it's just me, but I've found most guys are not interested in doing anything once they've finished. Could he bring you to orgasm (or close to it) first, before you move to sex?

GregBrawlsInDogJail · 23/05/2022 22:25

Maurepas · 23/05/2022 22:22

He should not be smoking especially if TTC.

🤔oh, come on. I wouldn't fuck a smoker, but if I didn't mind doing so then I wouldn't be developing an issue about it because we were TTC. Lots of women conceive while smoking.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 23/05/2022 22:26

Once we had it whilst wfh during lunch break. DH had a meeting so he had to leave me to finish myself off Grin. In that context it's ok. I guess though it depends if you're a lying together type. We don't always.

sweetkitty · 23/05/2022 22:27

I think he’s a bit selfish - a man interested in your pleasure should get you sorted out first before his pleasure IMVHO

ElenaSt · 23/05/2022 22:28

Glued to his phone would piss me off.

Overthewine · 23/05/2022 22:42

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

dementedpixie · 23/05/2022 22:47

Maybe you should switch to having your orgasm first before PIV starts

Oceanus · 23/05/2022 22:48

"Great orgasm"... Haaaaah, it's been so long I wonder whether I'd be able to recognise it! You're a lucky one, don't read too much into it!

Irishfarmer · 23/05/2022 23:07

I was going to ask if ye are TTC on a schedule but you said no. Maybe he just really wanted a cig? If he says he's fine I don't think I'd keep pushing it, that might annoy him (it would annoy me)! You asked and could discuss it tho so I think that's the most important thing

Snard4 · 23/05/2022 23:12

Orgasming after he has ejaculated into you is a good way to conceive, I think. Worked for us, anyway!

Maybe he’s having doubts about baby 2. How old is baby 1?

DixonD · 23/05/2022 23:12

N0tfinished · 23/05/2022 21:56

@StopStartStop GrinGrinGrin classic!!!

OP, I'd wonder if he's a little conflicted about TTC'ing?

I’d say he’s just finding it tedious - TTC soon loses its shine!

LidlMissSunshine · 23/05/2022 23:13

Why is he glued to his phone? Is this a new thing?

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