To tell him he can’t come round

[Beachbreak2411]

Had a date with a guy about a month ago; we’ve known each other for years and have been chatting for months. All seemed great. Somehow first date ended up being him coming to my house and me cooking (he turned up completely empty handed). He was quite pushy and ended up staying here the night. He left something here. Since then contact is sporadic.. either he texts loads.. or not at all for a few days. Tonight he’s decided he wants to come over, I said no as I’m tired and in crap mood / have early start tomorrow.. then he said he just wants to pick item up. I don’t want to see him tonight and I don’t want pressure to invite him in (he lives about an hours drive away). AIBU to say no?

Leave it on your doorstep, and don't open the door.

You dodged a bullet OP! Don’t answer if he does decide to knock instead!

Well it depends what he left.
If it was a phone, 1k of money in notes or his car keys then YABU but if it was one of his socks then no I think your ok.

Not OPs problem, if he wants it he can pick it up from outside as requested. OP is definitely NBU

@Beachbreak2411 don't feel embarrassed and don't be hard on yourself . We all fuck up and are people pleasers ( until we stop) it just takes these life lessons to shape you. I hope he didn't roll up on your doorstep last night . Me sounds like a total knob

Please don’t be embarrassed, OP. XXX

Yup - you have NOTHING to be embarrassed about Beachbreak.

How did it go last night?

thank you. So much.

he’s messaged me a lot but I’ve only replied to say it will either be outside or I will post it. He knows my next door neighbour is a bit fierce and I’ve said if needs be I will leave it with them.

in other news.. had a date with a new guy.. who took me for dinner, walked me home and didn’t attempt to come in. Second date was a walk on the beach at sunset and most he did was hold my hand.. he’s booked a restaurant for this Weeks date that is somewhere I mentioned I wanted to try. Hopefully all my guy choices aren’t terrible 😂😂

Glad to see your updates!
I'm sure you'll know to keep your wits about you😀

Don’t know where all the underlining came from!!

yep wits about me and a bit of anti bullshit thanks to you all!!

Red flags!!! Run OP and chuck his stuff in the post recorded delivery (so you have proof he has it back) and never see him again. Block his number and, whatever you do, don't answer the door if he just turns up!

Well done OP & new date guy sounds respectful & a MUCH better prospect - enjoy the restaurant!

Yay, new date sounds more promising.

Stick to your guns, leave it on the step and go visit a friend. Block his phone and never hear from him again.

Never met a Tony Robbins fan who wasn't also an incel.

You need him out of your life. Now. You owe him nothing.

How big is this item? Post/courier it to him today/tomorrow. Don’t ask his permission: jfdi. Then block him on all forms of contact.

He turned up tonight. Banging my door down while I was reading my daughter her bedtime story. My neighbour took him away from mine and told him not to gone back

Did you knew he was coming?? This is a bit alarming