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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Handing in my notice.... bricking it!

32 replies

Maybebabyno2 · 23/05/2022 07:44

Sorry posting for traffic and a hand hold!

I'm handing my notice in at work today and I am so nervous. I feel like I am letting them down. They have been good to me and I do like my job but I have been offered a really good opportunity, better pay and benefits so would be stupid not to take it.

I wasn't looking for a job, they contacted me! Feeling very guilty right now.

Keep telling myself it will all be okay, they aren't going to be cross, they will understand.

Don't know why I'm writing this thread really, just need some perspective!

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 23/05/2022 07:45

Don’t worry about it, you will be replaced no doubt. Good luck with the new job.

Starlightstarbright1 · 23/05/2022 07:45

Yanbu to ne nervous but expect them to be professional

Maybebabyno2 · 23/05/2022 07:47

KangarooKenny · 23/05/2022 07:45

Don’t worry about it, you will be replaced no doubt. Good luck with the new job.

Thank you, this is what I keep telling myself! Everyone is expendable etc, I just hate feeling like I am letting people down.

OP posts:
Cr3ateAUsername · 23/05/2022 07:48

Don’t feel guilty! Everyone is replaceable, congrats on your new job🎉

Maybebabyno2 · 23/05/2022 07:49

Thank you!! 😊

OP posts:
LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 23/05/2022 07:49

What’s the worst thing that could happen? How likely is that? What’s the best thing that could happen? How likely is that? Is there anything you can do to make sure it goes well vs is upsetting?

Even if they have been good to you, you’ve probably been good to them too - been reliable, done good work, helped the team etc. It’s a fair deal, but a business arrangement, and they will cope.

Enjoy your new opportunity!

ToiletGambles · 23/05/2022 07:51

If a final interview today goes well for me I will be in your position and I'm already worrying about it, small business that already has difficulty recruiting as you have to be able to drive to get there. I expect the boss to be very rude about it. Sorry I'm totally jumping on your thread just wanted to so I completely understand! I hope it goes ok 🙂.

Maybebabyno2 · 23/05/2022 07:53

ToiletGambles · 23/05/2022 07:51

If a final interview today goes well for me I will be in your position and I'm already worrying about it, small business that already has difficulty recruiting as you have to be able to drive to get there. I expect the boss to be very rude about it. Sorry I'm totally jumping on your thread just wanted to so I completely understand! I hope it goes ok 🙂.

It's awful isn't it! But good luck on your interview today I hope it goes well!!! At the end of the day, no matter how they take it, only a couple of months notice to work, thats how I'm trying to look at it haha.

OP posts:
Womencanlift · 23/05/2022 07:57

I could have written your post at the start of the year. Just be clear and succinct when you give the news. You may be asked if there is anything they can do to make you stay. Depending on whether you want to negotiate to stay or not, I assume unlikely, then again just be factual. Also if they ask for reasons for leaving don’t let emotions take over, just focus on the opportunity this new role will give you.

I was nervous and felt terrible but when I explained my reasons they were ok. Disappointed obviously but accepting that this was something I wanted to do for me.

One thing I was unprepared for was how I felt when my replacement was named. Even though I was ready to leave seeing it formally happen did cause a mix of emotions

Good luck for today and for the new job 😊

Maybebabyno2 · 23/05/2022 08:02

Womencanlift · 23/05/2022 07:57

I could have written your post at the start of the year. Just be clear and succinct when you give the news. You may be asked if there is anything they can do to make you stay. Depending on whether you want to negotiate to stay or not, I assume unlikely, then again just be factual. Also if they ask for reasons for leaving don’t let emotions take over, just focus on the opportunity this new role will give you.

I was nervous and felt terrible but when I explained my reasons they were ok. Disappointed obviously but accepting that this was something I wanted to do for me.

One thing I was unprepared for was how I felt when my replacement was named. Even though I was ready to leave seeing it formally happen did cause a mix of emotions

Good luck for today and for the new job 😊

Luckily, I don't have any negetive emotions for my current role but this job was just too good to turn down. I'm glad it went well for you 😁

Yeah I can imagine when they name my replacement it will be a bit weird for me. Its always odd when you find out who will the 'new you'.

Thank you for the well wishes, I will update once the deed is done!

OP posts:
Livebythecoast · 23/05/2022 08:06

Things like this are never usually quite as bad as you imagine. They may be disappointed but unfortunately, that's life. You have to do what's best for you. All the very best to you 😊

BumblePan · 23/05/2022 08:10

OP, same here!! I am so glad to find your post. I couldn't sleep last night and it's nice to know that I am not alone. It such a mix of emotions.
I am very loyal to the company, but there's no room to grow, so I am really sad about leaving,
I will struggle to hold back the tears today.

I am hoping to start the conversation about finding a new role and offering loads of training for the new hire.
I hope all goes really well for you today.
Congratulations on the new job xx

KangarooKenny · 23/05/2022 08:13

If they offered to match the wage would you stay ?

Maybebabyno2 · 23/05/2022 08:15

BumblePan · 23/05/2022 08:10

OP, same here!! I am so glad to find your post. I couldn't sleep last night and it's nice to know that I am not alone. It such a mix of emotions.
I am very loyal to the company, but there's no room to grow, so I am really sad about leaving,
I will struggle to hold back the tears today.

I am hoping to start the conversation about finding a new role and offering loads of training for the new hire.
I hope all goes really well for you today.
Congratulations on the new job xx

I recognise the sleepless night!! Good luck to you today too!! From reading this thread, it had helped me realise it won't be as bad as we are expecting, let us know how you get on too!!!

OP posts:
ImInStealthMode · 23/05/2022 08:15

Don't worry about it!

One of my team handed his notice in last year at a bad time work-wise, but the job he was going to was such a great opportunity that I was just genuinely delighted for him, despite it meaning I struggled for a bit until he could be replaced.

Congratulations on the new role Smile

Maybebabyno2 · 23/05/2022 08:24

KangarooKenny · 23/05/2022 08:13

If they offered to match the wage would you stay ?

I don't think so honestly, the new role is quite different and opens up many more opportunities for me long term. But if they do counter offer, I will consider it.

OP posts:
balalake · 23/05/2022 09:05

Let us know how it goes OP, and also serve your notice with dignity, helpfulness etc.

RainCoffeeBook · 23/05/2022 09:10

They'll replace you without a second thought. Honestly all this stuff about being treated well - they didn't. They were underpaying you, as you were clearly worth more, and denying you opportunities.

We all need to get tougher and change jobs more often. We have the power, not the fatcat bosses.

RainCoffeeBook · 23/05/2022 09:11

Never take a counter offer. It makes you look weak and ruins your credibility.

MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 23/05/2022 09:14

You are over thinking things OP. Having been a department head for a long time I can reassure you that it is something we know is going to happen, it is par for the course. People resign, it’s business.

Enjoy your new role.

GroggyLegs · 23/05/2022 09:21

Each time I've handed in my notice, my bosses have been disappointed but understood I needed to move on for my salary/career and happy for me on a personal level.

Agree with PP, the bit that stings is how fast they move on & not being invited to meetings/involved in work discussions while you work the notice period. I always feel like I've been ostracised

Bloatstoat · 23/05/2022 09:22

Congratulations on your new job, it's excellent to have someone contact you for a job!
I left a nice job about it about 15 years ago to retrain, I was so anxious giving in my notice I couldn't sleep and felt physically sick the day I did it. But the couldn't have been nicer, I was so thankful!
I really hope it goes as well for you, try not to worry!

RockAndOrRoll · 23/05/2022 09:24

Leaving an employer is like taking your hand out of a bucket of water - the hole is immediately and automatically filled in again :)

BumblePan · 23/05/2022 09:46

@Maybebabyno2
Some great advice here. Its certainly calming my nerves, so I hope its the same for you.
I am going to wait until the afternoon, as I feel it will be recieved better once my manager settles into the day....and I need my coffee...lots of it.
Soooo exciting but scary 😀

StaunchMomma · 23/05/2022 09:57

Make sure you tell them you were head hunted and point out that the role, pay & benefits are too good to turn down but also tell them you have loved working where you are and that you will be sad to leave.

No employer can expect loyalty to te degree of turning down such a good opportunity.

I understand your discomfort but you know you're doing the rigt thing.

Well done, OP! I hope the new job is fab.x.

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