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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About maternity ward

52 replies

Dinosaurhearmeroar · 22/05/2022 01:19

First baby delivered yesterday by c section. I’m in a shared ward with three other women. One is, quite frankly, awful. This is her second baby and she has brought nothing with her - no nappies, no wet wipes, no knickers and one bottle of formula for her entire stay - 3 days.

She does not stop complaining, moaning and calling her family on speakerphone throughout the day to cry and have arguments about who’s cooking tea.

She snores like a warthog and I can hear the woman next to me crying because of it - she is about to be induced. I also used the loo after her and she had left blood all over the seat and floor.

The ward is losing its mind - should i say something to the midwives? She is making this whole experience really unpleasant. I know how this might come across but I am fed up - I had a traumatic c section and have to recover two meters away from her.

😕

OP posts:
UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 22/05/2022 01:21

I don’t think there’s any harm in asking discretely if you could be moved to another room, given the snoring and the phone calls. That sounds very frustrating!

ladydimitrescu · 22/05/2022 01:21

What can they do about her snoring?
Maternity wards are hell. I get it's frustrating but I don't really know what you want them to do?

Original poster
Dinosaurhearmeroar · 22/05/2022 01:31

@ladydimitrescu give her a gentle shake awake? I know I sound unreasonable but it really is awful. It’s keeping my baby awake. I have asked for ear plugs but no joy.

update - midwife came in and woke her up and asked her to turn over! Result!

writing this on 4 hours sleep since Thursday and a new baby in my arms. if I seem unreasonable it’s because I am..!

xxx

OP posts:
ProclivityForPyrotechnics · 22/05/2022 01:36

@Dinosaurhearmeroar no they can't shake her awake Hmm she's just had a baby too and needs to sleep just as much as you do. Maybe her baby was earlier than expected, maybe she's a crack head and will have her baby removed. Either way she's just as deserving as maternity care as you are..

Yes it's shit, and I'm sorry that youre having a really crap time of it, ask the midwives for earplugs, you'll wake up when your baby cries and if you don't the midwives will wake you.

Original poster
Dinosaurhearmeroar · 22/05/2022 01:44

@ProclivityForPyrotechnics Very good points - I obviously don’t want her to be without maternity care! I just don’t want to be in the same room as her…lol.

But honestly, her behaviour would test the patience of a saint, not least a room full of new mums!

OP posts:
cadburyegg · 22/05/2022 01:47

Get some earplugs, best thing I took to hospital with my second baby, it should be on everyone's hospital bag list!

The blood in the toilet is unpleasant but hardly surprising given you're on a maternity ward

Holskey · 22/05/2022 01:48

Congratulations @Dinosaurhearmeroar

I understand you completely. There was one on our ward when I gave birth to my first. Loud phonecalls, letting her newborn cry and cry etc. The utter exhaustion can drive you crazy. Hopefully you'll be home soon.

Basilbrushgotfat · 22/05/2022 01:49

Yanbu

I've spent a lot of time in hospitals, patients like her have zero consideration or compassion for others on the ward and you can ask the nursing staff to step it.

Not sure you can do much about her snoring though!

Congratulations on your bairn :)

Original poster
Dinosaurhearmeroar · 22/05/2022 01:50

@Basilbrushgotfat @Holskey @cadburyegg

thank you! I am not alone! X

OP posts:
Applegreenb · 22/05/2022 02:17

Congratulations! I had 1 lady when I was on the mat ward, she’s was quite pleasant but it’s still awful as you just don’t sleep properly. Your situation sounds like hell! Sending sympathy and maybe ask about a private room? You can pay for them at our hospital. Said if we have another I’m doing that, the idea of sharing again gives me heart palpitations

Nat6999 · 22/05/2022 03:29

Are you nearly due to be discharged? If you are start making some noise to get a quick discharge. It's awful, I was nearly hallucinating due to lack of sleep when I was in hospital with ds.

user77283749 · 22/05/2022 04:09

Congratulations!!

Maybe you could ask to be moved and explain that you don't feel comfortable.

Also just remember, soon you will be home with your beautiful baby 🥰

Original poster
Dinosaurhearmeroar · 22/05/2022 05:29

Thank you @Applegreenb @Nat6999 @user77283749 for the sympathy and congratulations! I totally get what you mean about hallucinations - I keep thinking things are running past me and having very weird lucid dreams.

I lost quite a lot of blood in my c section so probably discharging tomorrow - i will ask about being moved, good idea - this is unbearable! Can’t wait to be home with my non snoring, calm, quiet fiancé (plus baby - obvs same applies 😂)

OP posts:
Thebeastofsleep · 22/05/2022 05:57

This is why I discharged myself 12 hours after my second. Thankfully I felt well but I'd probably have done it even if I hadn't.

Giraffesandbottoms · 22/05/2022 06:00

Get some earplugs, best thing I took to hospital with my second baby, it should be on everyone's hospital bag list!

no, no it shouldn’t. You shouldn’t wear earplugs because, you know, you need to hear your baby….

WaltzingWaters · 22/05/2022 06:13

Oh I absolutely hated my time on the maternity ward and was literally having trouble breathing by the end because I’d had no sleep. And I mean no sleep! It was so loud in there but it was more the midwives coming in to do checks and give medication to both my baby and me, and the other patients on the ward who were the noisy ones!
congrats on your baby and just try to get by, it feels SO amazing once you get home.

MissChanandlerBong80 · 22/05/2022 06:14

Does your hospital allow you to pay for private rooms? Mine did and it was the best money I’ve ever spent.

DCINightingale · 22/05/2022 06:28

Theres no harm asking to be moved to a different bay if there is space available. When I went in to have my first, ended in EMCS and stuck on postnatal ward unexpectedly for 2 days. It was hell. One of the partners argued with any member of staff he could find at every opportunity, including through the night. His partner had clearly had a traumatic birth and they were having to deal with that, but the arguing drove most of the others in our bay to tears. Several got moved because they couldnt take it. It was awful, the last thing you need.

I hope you are able to get some rest and are home soon to start recovering properly. And Congratulations!

Doofas · 22/05/2022 06:33

I ended up with an upset tummy after giving birth. After I mentioned this to the ward staff I was quickly moved to my own room as they didn't want me sharing a bathroom with others and risk it passing on. But yes, I didn't understand the need for phone calls in speaker phone in the middle of the night. And ask the lights going on in the early hours of the morning as they brought someone else into the bay, and everyone's four hourly obs. Being home was amazing, even though I had no idea what I was doing with this small wiggly thing that wasn't feeding and kept crying. Thankfully at home my DH took on must of the night time waking duties. I think after a traumatic birth and all the fun on the ward he felt he needed to give me the best chance of rest/sleep possible.

Kittykat93 · 22/05/2022 06:34

Urgh feel for you op. This is why I upped and left the hospital 10 hours after giving birth even though I felt like shit and was in agony, I could not bear the postnatal ward. Congratulations and fingers crossed you are home soon.

Pottedpalm · 22/05/2022 06:48

It sounds dreadful. It’s a good while since I had my DTs but it was an altogether more pleasant experience on the ward. Visiting was restricted, no visitors stayed overnight and, crucially, there were enough staff to give whatever help was needed by the baby and the mother. No one was allowed to disturb the peace and of course there were no mobile phones on the ward as very few people had one. It seems ‘progress’ over the years hasn’t led to better conditions.
OP I’m surprised there is someone on the ward waiting to be induced. Is ante natal no longer separate from
post natal?

PraiseBee · 22/05/2022 06:50

Post natal wards are hell on earth. Get yourself home asap

ChickensandCows · 22/05/2022 07:03

Complain of course! I don't know why people put up with this shit. The blood in the bathroom would have been enough for me. I'd have told her to shut the fuck up by now!

merlinsway · 22/05/2022 07:12

I got like 4 hours sleep over the 3 nights I was in the maternity ward. I was so so tired and so emotional it was the worst ever. I was texting my partner at 2 in the morning saying please come pick us up I can't stay here. It was just too noisy - no problems with other mums but it was just constant noise. The night I got home I fell asleep completely dead to the world for ten hours. I woke ip with a start thinking fuck I've not fed or seen to my baby but luckily my partner had done all the night feeds, changes, and cuddles and I had just slept through it.

bumpabroad · 22/05/2022 07:13

The not bringing stuff with her (which is very odd, is she trying to ‘borrow’ stuff from other people or does she expect the hospital to provide it?), making regular phone calls on speakerphone and leaving blood all over the toilet seat are not OK, but I don’t think they’re bad enough that the hospital can be expected to do anything about it. Some people are just selfish/unpleasant and I guess those people have babies too!

She can’t help the snoring though. I understand it’s frustrating and horrendous having to listen to someone snore (I say this as someone who has come downstairs to sit on the sofa because of a currently snoring partner!) but she can’t do anything about it. Maybe if it’s that bad they will put her in a private room?

I am most likely going to be having a c section in a week or so and I’m wondering if my hospital does private rooms now… 😳