Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About maternity ward

52 replies

Dinosaurhearmeroar · 22/05/2022 01:19

First baby delivered yesterday by c section. I’m in a shared ward with three other women. One is, quite frankly, awful. This is her second baby and she has brought nothing with her - no nappies, no wet wipes, no knickers and one bottle of formula for her entire stay - 3 days.

She does not stop complaining, moaning and calling her family on speakerphone throughout the day to cry and have arguments about who’s cooking tea.

She snores like a warthog and I can hear the woman next to me crying because of it - she is about to be induced. I also used the loo after her and she had left blood all over the seat and floor.

The ward is losing its mind - should i say something to the midwives? She is making this whole experience really unpleasant. I know how this might come across but I am fed up - I had a traumatic c section and have to recover two meters away from her.

😕

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 22/05/2022 07:16

My experience of postnatal was virtually identical. They are horrific

Furrbabymama87 · 22/05/2022 07:19

I've been through this 4 times and it was always the same. Maternity wards are noisy and uncomfortable. One time I was in a smaller room with just 3 other women and that wasn't so bad, but the other times there's been about 10 in the room. I'm not sure what you can do, you could ask the nurses to ask her to be a bit quieter on phone calls. Just remember you'll be out of there soon and this is only for a short while.

Dinosaurhearmeroar · 22/05/2022 07:27

Thank you everyone - seems like maternity wards are, in general, noisy hellscapes! @Pottedpalm yes, that’s right - in this ward we have two post c section and two about to be induced. One of the women in for induction was loudly complaining about the “two crying babies in her ward.” There’s only a curtain separating us - i just sat there twiddling my thumbs…!

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 22/05/2022 07:29

Maternity wards are awful aren’t they? You’re thrown together with women you’d never mix with in real life and everything is heightened through hormones and lack of sleep

Stick with it, enjoy your baby and the countdown to going home

Lemonsandlimez · 22/05/2022 07:33

You aren't being unreasonable... But I think you're probably going to have to suck it up, sadly maternity wards do see all walks of life and not everyone will be mindful of others. They're very stretched like everywhere and if you're not listening to her snoring some other poor new mum will be 🙈

I had a lady next to me, shouting and swearing down the phone behind the curtain after I'd had my first born, I was only in for a few hours though so it wasn't so bad!

DashboardConfessional · 22/05/2022 07:38

Maternity wards are awful. I'm glad the snoring was dealt with as best they could! After one night I was transferred to a birthing centre for help with breastfeeding and it was just me in a 4-bed ward. I actually cried with relief.

RidingMyBike · 22/05/2022 07:49

Could you ask to be moved as you're in for a bit longer? I had a horrific three nights on postnatal on an eight bed bath (after one night on antenatal which was the next bay along and one night on labour ward).

Noisy visitors, lengthy phone calls at all hours, a woman who rocked the squeaking crib for hours(aarrgghh), visiting children either running around or watching films on high volume.

When I eventually put in a complaint about maternity - not postnatal conditions specifically but they'd made my baby ill with negligent care - the chief midwife said they now try to ensure women in for more than one night on postnatal get the single rooms so they have more chance to rest. It isn't always a given though as there's a limited number and they (rightly!) prioritise them for someone infectious, who has had a stillbirth or a prisoner from the local women's prison as the guards have to stay with them.

Oneforallforone · 22/05/2022 07:52

I really feel for you, I have zero patience in these kind of situations and get really stressed with other people like this.

I specified I wanted a private room on my notes, could you ask for one if you're not going home today? We had to pay but honestly, was some of the best money I've ever spent!! (A private bathroom is priceless in my view!)

DarcyBlue · 22/05/2022 07:54

The postnatal ward is hell. If it wasn’t this woman it would be something else in the next bay, no one is having a good time. Honestly, it is just hell. Get yourself discharged as soon as you can.

Theendofspring · 22/05/2022 07:55

The phone calls are really inconsiderate but I must admit I wouldn’t have taken kindly to being woken up to stop snoring (I don’t snore as far as I know but still …) can’t believe the midwives did that Shock

Lazerbeen · 22/05/2022 07:59

Maternity units are indeed hellish, knowing what I know now I would have discharged myself much sooner. In this case she sounds bloody irritating but they're limited in what they can do really, personally I think it's brilliant they woke her to turn over hah- if it means several women can now get some sleep then sounds good.

Anonnnnnnm · 22/05/2022 08:04

Dinosaurhearmeroar · 22/05/2022 01:19

First baby delivered yesterday by c section. I’m in a shared ward with three other women. One is, quite frankly, awful. This is her second baby and she has brought nothing with her - no nappies, no wet wipes, no knickers and one bottle of formula for her entire stay - 3 days.

She does not stop complaining, moaning and calling her family on speakerphone throughout the day to cry and have arguments about who’s cooking tea.

She snores like a warthog and I can hear the woman next to me crying because of it - she is about to be induced. I also used the loo after her and she had left blood all over the seat and floor.

The ward is losing its mind - should i say something to the midwives? She is making this whole experience really unpleasant. I know how this might come across but I am fed up - I had a traumatic c section and have to recover two meters away from her.

😕

Midwives will be aware. They probably see this week in week out. It's not nice but sadly it's not a hotel either. Ask for some earplugs and try to make the best of a bad situation x

CatsandDogs22 · 22/05/2022 08:24

Maternity wards are noisy places. I lucked on to a single one both times and both times it was still hella noisy - one of the night time midwives was the loudest person you ever met and she spent the night slamming doors and yelling down the hall (not in an emergency). I can imagine how much noisier it would be in a shared room.

Also I don’t know if you’d call it luck. It’s a not UK Public hospital where you only get a single room if it is free and the midwives think you need it most. I got it first time after a fairly late night emergency c-section where I still couldn’t move my legs - own room meant DH could stay and I didn’t have to call the midwife every time she cried.

2nd time around I did start out in a squashy 4 bed room waiting for my planned c-section. Then the sister in charge walked in and pointed out they wouldn’t get 2 bassinets in there for the twins and they’d have to help me a lot more. By the time we came back from surgery my stuff was in a single room. I still went home as soon as they let me. Sleep and maternity wards do not go together.

StrongOutspokenOftenIrritating · 22/05/2022 08:29

My second baby I was put on in a bay of four women. We’d all had c sections. very firmly told partners had to be out by 9.

sent my husband home around 5 so he could keep the toddler in routine and to let the friend who’d come to care for him to go home. Friend had offered to stay but we said no as DH couldn’t visit overnight anyway.

9pm rolls around and the ward is short staffed so they tell the 3 other partners they can stay and help out their partners. So I’m on a bay with four strange women (one lesbian couple) which is fine and two strange men - less fine. And the staff don’t bother coming to help because ‘we all have support’. Well no, I don’t. Icing on the cake - one chap whinged the whole night about how uncomfortable he was, how tired he was, how hungry he was, etc.

TheGlitterati · 22/05/2022 08:37

There’s always one OP. I had a traumatic EMCS and was next to a woman on the phone until gone 11 most nights, leaving her baby to cry because ‘I’ve already fed them’, disappearing off for a cigarette, refusing medical intervention so she couldn’t be discharged and her partner laying on the bed with her and his shoes on watching tv as late as possible.

I discharged myself despite being too unwell to leave because I couldn’t stand another day or night near her. She was vile and i felt sorry for her child.

congratulations on your baby

Oysterbabe · 22/05/2022 08:42

On my ward there was a woman who was accompanied by a police officer the entire time and one who face timed various people 24 hours a day.
With my second I managed to avoid them entirely. Had my son at 4am, went to a recovery room and was discharged from there before lunchtime.

Georgeskitchen · 22/05/2022 08:45

StrongOutspokenOftenIrritating · 22/05/2022 08:29

My second baby I was put on in a bay of four women. We’d all had c sections. very firmly told partners had to be out by 9.

sent my husband home around 5 so he could keep the toddler in routine and to let the friend who’d come to care for him to go home. Friend had offered to stay but we said no as DH couldn’t visit overnight anyway.

9pm rolls around and the ward is short staffed so they tell the 3 other partners they can stay and help out their partners. So I’m on a bay with four strange women (one lesbian couple) which is fine and two strange men - less fine. And the staff don’t bother coming to help because ‘we all have support’. Well no, I don’t. Icing on the cake - one chap whinged the whole night about how uncomfortable he was, how tired he was, how hungry he was, etc.

Why was a man on the maternity ward?

Newmumatlast · 22/05/2022 08:46

Giraffesandbottoms · 22/05/2022 06:00

Get some earplugs, best thing I took to hospital with my second baby, it should be on everyone's hospital bag list!

no, no it shouldn’t. You shouldn’t wear earplugs because, you know, you need to hear your baby….

You can get earplugs that aren't noise cancelling but just muffles it a bit. They're great if you have sensory triggers. You can still hear but its less triggering

Newmumatlast · 22/05/2022 08:48

Georgeskitchen · 22/05/2022 08:45

Why was a man on the maternity ward?

All the birth partners could stay at mine. It was great. Could all be together and have support and someone to advocate for us. It never once crossed my mind to be scared or concerned that men were there. The staff included men.

Georgeskitchen · 22/05/2022 08:50

I had my last baby mid 90s and it was nothing like I've read on here. I was 6 bed bay which was half empty (although it filled up later) no mobile phones, which I think are to blame for many of today's ills. Absolutely no partners staying overnight!! Once you were tidied up after delivery and all was OK, partner sent home and mum and baby sent to ward. A bit noisy at time but to be expected in a busy ward.

SickAndTiredAgain · 22/05/2022 09:00

I gave birth recently and hated the time on the postnatal ward. DD was slightly more jaundiced than they were happy with (but not enough to need treatment) so we were kept in until it came down.
Some people just seemed to have endless FaceTime conversations, on speakerphone (get some bloody headphones!) from the moment they woke up, until they went to sleep. I listened to one woman loudly tell the story of her labour to about 15 different people - I know more about her labour than I do my own. She wittered on until gone midnight while loudly telling her various friends "oh I should probably go now, everyone else seems to be quiet!"
The only saving grace was covid restrictions meant just one visitor all day, except for an hour in the afternoon where you could have another. I'd have lost the plot if the inconsiderate women had had their presumably equally inconsiderate families there all day as well.

Having said that, I did feel for some of the women not being able to have a partner overnight, especially given the staffing levels on the ward. One woman came in late afternoon following a c-section. I guess the drugs hadn't agreed with her, because she was very dizzy, vomiting, couldn't move, couldn't eat, couldn't sit up etc. Her partner was caring for the baby including making up formula, and caring for her by getting her water, getting sick bowls etc. When he had to leave, she was pressing the call button all the time because she couldn't do anything for the baby or herself, and ended up throwing up over herself and the bed because she couldn't get the sick bowl. It seemed insane to leave a woman in that state in charge of the care of a newborn. Especially when the call button was not answered very quickly at all.

Mally100 · 22/05/2022 09:03

MissChanandlerBong80 · 22/05/2022 06:14

Does your hospital allow you to pay for private rooms? Mine did and it was the best money I’ve ever spent.

This is exactly what I did too. So sorry op, this is just the last thing a new mum needs. Congrats on the baby. Definitely speak to someone about being moved.

Hopeislost · 22/05/2022 09:03

Maternity wards are awful for this. I discharged myself 'against doctors advice' rather than spend another night in there. Check with the midwives what needs to be done before you can go (e.g hearing test).

Skinnermarink · 22/05/2022 09:06

Maternity wards are shit, you get out asap. I was at home 24 hours after my c section.

you are being unreasonable about the blood in the toilet though. It is a maternity ward. I was told if I had a significant bleed to leave it so the nurses could have a look !

MsSquiz · 22/05/2022 09:11

cadburyegg · 22/05/2022 01:47

Get some earplugs, best thing I took to hospital with my second baby, it should be on everyone's hospital bag list!

The blood in the toilet is unpleasant but hardly surprising given you're on a maternity ward

@cadburyegg even on a maternity ward I would not expect the toilet seat to be covered in blood! People should wipe it clean after themselves!

I was on a postnatal ward 3 weeks ago today and there was a sign in the ward toilet telling you to use the clinical wipes to clear up any blood or spillages or to speak to a member of staff.

There was only me and another lady on our ward during the night and she constantly rang her husband to speak to him on speaker phone throughout the night, even after the midwife had told her it was too late to be on the phone! I ended up constantly shushing her as she was keeping me and my baby awake!

Swipe left for the next trending thread