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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

that my dd has nits again

56 replies

saff · 12/01/2008 14:53

this is driving me mad i comb through 2-3 times a week and plat her long thick hair and put tea tree oil through, when i spoke to school they said although the know who has the bloody things they can not speak directly to parents all the can do is put out lettes each week and hope they get the hint . one friend who is dinner lady said you can literally see some kids heads alive with them. In the meantime we other parents keep on combing

OP posts:

2sugarsagain · 13/01/2008 07:48

seeker, I don't know how they managed this, but dd2 has them, dd1 doesn't.

seeker · 13/01/2008 07:59

Actually - I didn't put in my message because it was turning into an essay, but my ds is a nit magnet, and my dd rarely has more than one or two even if he's got lots. A very experienced primary teacher told me that some people have very slightly higher normal body temperatures that others, and the lice like them best. Ds also attracts mosquitos and other biting insects. I think what I was trying to say is that you need to ASSUME that everyone, including the adults in the family has them and treat accordingly.

seeker · 13/01/2008 09:29

Oh, and I'm a hideously tough mum - my response to "you can have two minutes" would be "Ok you can have two minutes TV/playstation/nintendo/computer" pick electronic gadget of choice!

spanielsmom · 13/01/2008 10:01

My ds in not yet in school - only with CM for now, so I have only had one nits attack so far, and we dealt with it by the shaving head and combing for days on end. I now check his hair every week, just to make sure it does not reoccur. I felt so cruel, as I had obviously let it go for a while - he was scratching and I thought it was minor eczema. Nits did not even come to mind, as we did not have them at school and I have never had to deal with it before. I nervously checked both dh and myself, and found that I had some as well and had to treat myself - uuugggh.

So I am dreading it when he starts nursery in April - and then school.

What I do not understand is why can the teachers not talk to the parents concerned? Genuinely, I do not understand - surely that is the best thing to do if there is one specific child who is most affected?

Ooooh - I am getting that itchy feeling again - luckily sunday night is nit checking night.

Peachy · 13/01/2008 10:17

I do my ds's hair frequently but if I had missed it I would want to be told, as I have eyesight problems and find I can't see the nits in the hair- it's only on the comb I can tell.

Peachy · 13/01/2008 10:21

Oh does vodka really kill them? We've stuck to the combing method because of me being PG and not able to use shop bought brands of treatment on the boys. Tea tree a no-no (I have eczma and it irritates it), vodka would be fab as we have loads left from mum's visit at Christmas and we don't drink it.

EllieG · 13/01/2008 10:24

Only thing that worked for us was getting DSD's long hair cut into a bob. Is much easier to check and she doesn't pick them up as often. She used to have them constantly, only were able to get rid of them in school holidays.

garciasangria · 13/01/2008 11:15

Seeker, yes, I have a dn with severe excema, so was aware of this when dd told me about this child's itching. However, sil teaches at the same school, and she's told me that the teachers are concerned about this kid, because she's literally crawling with lice, and has been for a long time.

Btw, Sil teaches in the SN unit, and only has 8 kids in her class. She spotted lice in one of the children's hair, and after sending the general note out a couple of times, and the child still having lice, Sil approached the parent. (I don't know if sil should have done this or not, but she's a ballsy lady iykwim!)

The parent was truly mortified, and said she didn't check her child's head when the notes came out, because she didn't think her child would have lice.

Buda · 13/01/2008 11:29

Schools have got to get over this whole fallacy that they can't directly tell the parents. It's crazy.

Thankfully DS's school has a nurse and she checks after every holiday and if they find some the parents get told. I was phoned by the teacher once when DS was in reception as he had them and I had to go and pick him up. Teacher was nervous and embarrassed but I told her not to be so silly. I would much rather be told so that I can deal with it and he had obv picked them up from school anyway.

How can giving a parent a letter discreetly be an invasion of privacy? It's ridiculous.

bookwormmum · 13/01/2008 11:32

My dd(7) has her hair plaited for school now but quite often after her bath/hair wash, I sit on her bed and comb her hair out with the nit comb whilst she's reading her books or comics and about once a week it's the nit lotion. The worst thing you can do with nits is blow dry infested hair since it forces them to hatch then you have thousands of the buggers. When I found I'd taken them from her once I seriously considered getting my head shaved off as I felt so dirty .

I think a lot of parents ignore nits since they never had them as kids (thanks to Nitty Norahs) hence their kids won't have them iyswim. Not so!!!!!!

bookwormmum · 13/01/2008 11:33

hair not head.

mamhaf · 13/01/2008 11:53

Agree it's an absolute pita.

DD2 kept getting re-infected...just as we'd cleared her, she got them again.

You can get the nitty gritty comb and lotion on prescription - although I stick to conditioner and vinegar now because I don't want to keep putting chemicals on her head.

We had a strong suspicion which child kept re-infecting her - she was completely clear, spent a few hours at this particular child's house and came home with more lice in her hair.

In the end I phoned up the mother and told her politely but firmly what I thought had happened, and asked her to check and treat her dd's hair.

Touch wood, it's been ok since then...but still checking every week.

bossybritches · 13/01/2008 12:08

Not sure where this "not allowed to tell" thing has come from TBH. Maybe a teacher on here could tell us?

If you think it through WHO doesn't allow it? OFSTED?

I think a letter to the whole class followed up by a discreet letter to the family of the obviously infested child, would be discreet & not betraying confidentiality.

For those that don't know (& sorry for those that do I 'm always banging on about it but it's good!!) try reading this website.Lots of research based info & good advice.

good comb sets too

also recommended

KrippledKerryMum · 13/01/2008 12:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yorkishbirdy · 13/01/2008 16:43

My understanding is that a teacher cannot activley look for lice, however, if they see them without looking through the hair then they are allowed to tell the parent. The teacher is also allowed to request the child is collected and kept away until treated and cleared (I have even heard of them requesting a GP note to say they are clear).

The thing is, this all sounds harsh, but if a child is known to have a problem that is not being addressed then this has got to be the best course of action hasn't it? I don't mean just "oh yes they had them last month too" I mean as described above where the same child has them constantly for months and the teacher is concerned for them.

Peachy · 13/01/2008 19:20

GArciaSangria- maybe the child in teh SN unit was ASD- i've never yet found a nit on ds1 (although have on the other 2, including another ASD child)- because he simply doesn't let anyone get close to infect him. Obv. I woulda lways treat him / check him the same as his brothers.

Strangely the one that doesn't get them is the only one who has any length at all to his hair! Typical

MumRum · 13/01/2008 19:31

would it ever be considered neglect if a child was riddled with headlice?

Peachy · 13/01/2008 19:37

If it were combined with other factors it might but as a stand alone not really, not according to my SS 'when to refer' chart anyway.

garciasangria · 13/01/2008 20:06

Peachy, not sure what the child in sil's class's SN are. Tbh, for confidentiality reasons she probably shouldn't have been discussing it with me at all, I'd just mentioned it because she did approach the parent about it. Maybe because it's such a small class, and she has more contact with the parents, she felt comfortable doing so?

I think the thing that upsets me a bit about the girl in dd's class, is that they're 10 yr olds, and you know what kids can be like, and this child is being isolated somewhat because of something she has no control over.

bossybritches · 14/01/2008 14:25

Best way I found to keep my DD's still was to bribe them to sit & watch a video/dvd with a few sweets (at first -managed to swap them for a bowl of fruit after a short while!!)

We got into the habit of doing this every night when infested then when the nits were reducing I went to every third night. HAVE to do it for 3 weeks though to break the cycle & a lot of parents can't be arsed so the problem continues.

Also found cutting their hair into a short bob helped, both on the inspection front & the catching them front.

Original poster

saff · 15/01/2008 14:26

i thought i would see if anyone had responded to thread glad i am not alone in this then lol. I had to go through all my kids hair last night (have not heard of vodka ) if it does not work will drink to dull pain of lice combers back ache i even found one in my 18mt ds baby hair the other day which really mad me cross. school have told me that it is not pc to inform head lice carriers fgs. I have now resorted to staring on to known affenders heads and then looking at parent then back to childs head . although not pc to stare either i expect

OP posts:

bossybritches · 16/01/2008 10:58

saff try those combs I recommended before the really helped wih mine!

bossybritches · 16/01/2008 10:59

Also I meant to add your Gp can give them out on prescription so no need ofr anyone to use the expense as an excuse!

NKffffffff96bb084fX11668a018ff · 28/01/2008 09:37

What can Gp give out on presciption. I darent try and add up how much i have spent on lotions and potions. I became convinced they are in my very thick curly hair although i comb in shower every day. My scalp now itches through scrapes on it !
I wondered if my bad eyesight is part of problemnot seeing eggs,I seem too be only parent who ever goes to tell others my child is infested.I check and commb but although i seem to be rid they pop up again.. ALWAYS when im in a huury or like now i am about to have to phone all parents at yesterdays birthday party and warn them I am sick to death of it i think if i had known about nits i might never have had children

gbsjj · 10/03/2008 16:52

just joined site, having found useful comments on internet trawl as ds has them- never found before, and never knew what to look for, but do now! mainly worried about lotions. Any of you ladies heard of delacet? any tried? we been combing daily since last thurs, tried hedrin - still small ones oving, or is that new hatch? and can yuo get the eggs out? or just as they hatch?

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