To ask this about your finances?

[CPHB2021]

I am ONLY asking people with one parent working PART TIME. How much disposable do you have a month, after bills, food, fuel? I'm considering going PT until our daughter starts school ( 2024 ) as it's just unbelievably stressful trying to work/juggle childcare/the house etc. but our disposable income will over half, around £500 left per month 😩 I just can't imagine only having this to spend. Essentially, £100 per weekend. Is this just realistic for this time in our lives?

To me days out with soft plays etc are for occasional treats or birthdays, not an every weekend deal. They are expensive and there is always a need for coffee/drinks/food etc which adds on

I disagree about days out having to be expensive or include bought food.

If your default is to walk up to the gate and pay the full entry cost and then buy lunch in the cafe, you can probably save 50-75% of the cost by looking for a deal on entry, buying annual passes and/or taking your own food and drink which is almost always poor quality, expensive and at the end of a long queue so it's hardly a hardship to take a picnic.

Op you need to knock the £100 weekends on the head and save every spare penny until you have 3 months of salary saved.

What's the point of expensive weekends when you have barely any savings. That seems so wasteful.

Go over the finances and save every place that you can. Do this now whilst still full-time.

Then when you have more savings, go parttime.

But like others have said redo your budget include everything as a bill, ie petrol is not an incidental as you know you need it regularly. Just like birthdays.

All these should be budgeted for.
Disposable income is what is left after that.

Personally £500 is plenty left over and I think you are wasteful.

I work part time, 3 days per week, and my husband full time. Tbh we’d massively struggle on £500 per month for the 4 of us. I’m looking to increase to 4 days now my kids are 10 and 12 for more money - we’re not extravagant- far from it. Take all the drinks and food with us, rarely eat out, love a voucher etc but still find funds running low towards the end of the month. I feel
like making my part time hours up to 28 per week will give us that little buffer. But I can say all that with the experience of only working 2 days per week when my kids were little. I only went up to 3 days when my youngest started school and now he’s approaching the end of primary. Feel really lucky that I was able to keep my hand in my career but also be home more than not.

£200 for 2 tyres omg I wouldn’t pay that I’ve just 2 part worn what look new for £40 each

No way would I drop hours with almost no savings.
I’d look more closely at why you’re so stressed. Two adult households - shouldn’t be so stressful keeping on top of laundry etc. I’m not saying it’s EASY. But what’s the reason why it’s so hard for you that you want half a week more on it?!
You could work 80% instead of 50% and have an entire day to do a big clean, all laundry, and shop.

I think my biggest concern is I don't want to look back and wish I had spent more time with them when they're little. Unfortunately, the way my role works is it's full time or literally half term. I cannot choose the amount. The reason I am stressed is that full time, two young DC, a household to keep on top of, etc etc. I commend anyone who isn't stressed. My DH does his share but he is the breadwinner who's work we deem as more important, his job takes up longer hours away from the house too, and I work from home so naturally more work falls to me. X

If you have time to spe d more time with DC, they wo t need so many clubs and you can cut back there. Bike rides, walks, parks, picnics are all fairly cheap, as are inviting their friends for play, art or film with snacks.

As adults here we have £100pm each, dont feel hard done by.

If you're relatively comfortable can you outsource some of the things that make you stressed? Cleaning for example. Given you don't have a huge amount of savings and your disposable £500 has to cover essentials like petrol and school uniforms, maybe it's best to come at this from a different angle. If one thing happens, car needs something, boiler breaks, DC have a growth spurt and need new school shoes unexpectedly you're really up a bit of a creek and I think you'll find that more stressful than your current situation.

How easy would it be to go from part time back up to full time? If relatively simple and easy I would go part time, experience it. See if you can cut back a bit, live off less (check your salary in a salary calculator, loads online to get an accurate amount) and then see if you have a better organised house etc and less stress.

If it doesn't work out then you can go back to being full time.

What exactly is stressing you out and why do you think that reducing your work will reduce the stress?
Being a parent is stressful, but you don't need to spend loads of money on your very small children to be a good/present parent, in fact paying loads of money to outsource child entertainment I would say doesn't make you have a good relationship with your children, it means they grow to expect you to provide entertainment rather than them learning to do it themselves..

I get stressed because I feel I barely see my DC and then our weekends etc are often spent with a few hours of tidying/cleaning/gardening. I stress I'm not a good Mum because I'm constantly trying to balance work and home life. Xx

When ds was preschool we had less than that. Pre school, they dont need expensive activities, visit friends and family, go out and explore places parks, woods, beaches, local free attractions and take a snack/drink with you, just keep away from commercial places that cost a fortune for little value. Do more at home with messy play/painting or in the garden. Maybe have a day out at soft play or somewhere else once a month.

How many hours do you work in your full-time role? What do your work class as being full-time? I think anything over 30 hours is classed as full-time and doing nearer the 30 hours is definitely doable with managing school runs etc.

I currently work 40 hours. Part time is 20 hours. There is no inbetween with my role. X

I work part time and my partner works full time. I can only dream of having £500 per month to spend on what we want

I don’t think it’s enough so would advise you stay full time

I'm part time and don't notice the difference now. You adapt better than you think you will. Our quality of life has improved tremendously. It all works out.

Yes I can appreciate 40 hours would be a constant rush. I'm lucky I think I have the sweet spot of around 33 hours which is still a constant juggle but I am there to drop and pick my children up from school every day barr one.
What does your work say is the reason for not supporting a flexible working arrangement?

My DH does his share but he is the breadwinner who's work we deem as more important, his job takes up longer hours away from the house too, and I work from home so naturally more work falls to me

You are looking at this from the wrong angle. The bottom line isn't whether £500 is enough (though it really isn't if your savings amount to only 1 month's salary!)

More importantly, though, you need to think long term., i.e. the impact of you going part time on your career progression and your pension.

I'd never advise putting yourself second to a high earning spouse. Remember that around half of marriages end in divorce...

It's just the nature of the position. They are great and very accommodating but it's either one or the other. I agree around 30 would be great. Ideally I would work 3 long days. Xx

I'm curious now as to what type of job allows the flexibility of working from home but not flexibility of hours 🤔. Is it a career job?

I work 3 days and DH works full time.

We have an above average income so it doesn't really matter if I work full or part time. But what I will say is that going part time enables me to do all th house work, laundry etc on my days off and spend quality time with the family at the weekend.

So even if money was tight I would really value that. We don't spend a lot at the weekend as are often busy with the animals / farm work.

We have between 150 and 200 a month left over after bills and food its not alot but more then enough for clothes and treats

Only having 1 months salary in savings would really stress me out. It might be doable if you had a decent savings pot, but not if you've hardly any savings to fall back on, and no way to increase your savings if you go part time. I think you need to live for a couple of months on what your reduced salary would be (putting the excess into savings) and see how it works for you.

This is a wonderful idea. Thank you!