To not let the child go in front?

[helloaibu]

I must caveat this with I am struggling TTC and sensitive.

Queuing for the loo today at a big sporting event. I have a medical condition that means I need the loo urgently and cannot control it. I had been queueing for ages, there was no disabled loos and things were cutting it fine.

A mum and two children rushed up and said that her child was desperate and they needed to go in front. I said really sorry but I am currently disabled and can’t hold it. Everyone in the queue looked annoyed and the woman said ‘I’m guessing you’re not a mother then’. And the lady behind made a big thing of saying they could go in front of her.

I started to cry and felt so humiliated, normally I’d say yes and I know it was only a child but I was worried I was going to wet myself.

AIBU or were they?

You poor thing, OP. Horrible thing for her to say. Unfortunately, she’s seemingly one of those selfish ‘my child is the centre of the universe’ women and nobody else’s medical need could possibly trump her child’s need for a wee.

At a push the kid could have gone behind a hedge. She was entitled and ywnbu

Agree with this response.

She was completely out of order and I actually hope she is on here and recognises herself. Even if she was having a bad day and frazzled there is no excuse to be a bitch. If you do recognise yourself then be better.

OP I hope you are feeling better about it now. You absolutely did nothing wrong

Other people's children may not be, but they are more likely to literally wet themselves and not be able to give sufficient warning of an urgent visit needed to prevent this if a queue.

They didn’t though, did they? I’m expect the OP would have included it if they had.

You were not being unreasonable. I wonder why people think children should be treated extra special for every situation?? I don’t get that thought process at all.

Never once have I asked if my children could go first over someone else just because they are kids. I've even offered a parent and child to go ahead of me overhearing the little girl really needed it but the parent said she can wait not to worry. So she was being a real bitch and not a good example to her kids with that entitled behaviour.

@Sunnytwobridges I can totally understand why a mother would ask for a young child to skip the queue. LOs will often hold of to the last minute before saying they need.

Her reaction to being told sorry was totally unreasonable.

But I've also let other women who were clearly desperate to skip in front of me. It happens. People get caught short.
It's bonkers that they don't have more ladies loos than men's. Rarely is the mens anywhere queued.

You were not unreasonable, in some situations I’m so desperate that I wouldn’t let my own daughter to go ahead of me.
And as many PPs said it was obviously a bad planning on mother’s side. Usually you know how reliable your child is and plan accordingly, and even take an extra clothes with you.

Exactly this.

Hopefully she was having a shitty day, stressed to the hilt and the prospect of an accident was the final straw, and she's feeling like a complete dick now. Doesn't excuse what she said though.

YANBU

I find these entitled women tend to be those who have a Facebook status of ‘full time mummy to 3 little angles’ 🙄 they should always be ignored!!!

Absolutely, sorry you had that experience op x

Perfectly put. Exactly this. You did nothing wrong.

I bet that the woman concerned is not one to insist their children use the toilet before leaving the house. Which would probably in the majority of instances meant that her child would not have been desperate for the toilet and it would never have happened.

So much judging on the mum, bet she never insisted kids went to loo before leaving the house, FFS they could have been out all day, been stuck in traffic, been on public transport with no loos.

Someone up thread suggested that the kid should be in a pull up nappy. FFS plenty kids just use them like nappies.

Her reaction to getting told no was ridiculous but she really wasn't unreasonable to ask.

Nothing wrong with asking, everything wrong with her reaction when you said no.

This is the point I was going to make.
I have had a couple of horrible accidents as a grown women (menopause)….it is horrible to feel yourself losing control, but to then be standing in a public loo hand basin and trying to cleaning up yourself and washing out clothes is humiliating . with best will in the world most onlookers would be quietly horrified or embarrassed .

a child having an accident is “just life” ….no one really bats an eyelid if mum is at sink trying to clean up the mess.
A world of difference
my response to that mum would have been “and you’re clearly not disabled” or” and your clearly not menopausal yet” .

So she didn't ask politely, she told you she would be queue jumping? Then went on to say something nasty and uncalled for. That's great example for her to set for her kids. She would have been reasonable to ask nicely, but in this case it sounds like she was incredibly and unecessarily rude, so YANBU.

What a nasty woman.

You were perfectly entitled to say no in the circumstances.