High earners - how do you spend your salary?

[Citygirly]

DH and I earn just under £140k combined.

We do maximum pension payments (his is 9% as NHS) and we also give about 10% a month to charity.

Other than that, we plan to start overpaying the mortgage. We invest £1k a month (so £500 each) and save £1k for holidays. We of course do general/specific savings but then have a good chunk left over for disposable income.

AIBU to ask other high earning households how they tend to allocate their money? Just want to see if we could be using it better or this is about right for comparables.

@Nothappyatwork well quite, wanting children to suffer to teach a mother a lesson is despicable. However, you have to ask yourself what sort of a mother risks that scenario?

If the situation is as you describe, she had secured accommodation. What she wanted was more free available surplus income and the range of other benefits you get from a ch. And she was prepared to be dishonest to get it and had no respect for the position it would put her landlord in. 🤷‍♀️

The point is this women may not have been poverty stricken, but feigning it, which is equally as ghastly as the mob jumping on in the thread.

It is 35% minimum after 3-5yrs
www.gov.uk/right-to-buy-buying-your-council-home/discounts

And of course repairs are not done promptly. They only have a certain budget to put in all the kitchens, bathrooms, roof repairs etc per year. If you want it free it isn’t going to happen at the flick of a switch.

@Topgub I’m reckoning you have a dartboard in your house with bojo’s face in the middle. One of the main issues I had with Rtb was solved by Cameron - he linked earnings to rent paid.

Going to leave it there on the OT issues.

But having a family behind you who support your goals and betterment is an advantage over those who don't have this.

Like I've said, I had a father who pushed and pushed me academically - he constantly reinforced the importance of hard work at school and how this would set me up for life and mean I could achieve good things. I was constantly receiving this message from primary school age. The thing I received most praise for was academic achievement of any type. Positive parents evening? "Excellent, well done, I am so proud of you. Keep working hard, it's important". Etc etc. The importance of university was introduced by my early teens. Etc etc.

Sometimes when I tell people I have 3 degrees and I completed the 2nd two (an MSc & PhD) as a single mum, they sort of open their eyes widely in disbelief. Why did I do that? Why was I so motivated in that particular direction? I always say "my Dad pushed me from being little to do well at school and the message just never left me". Invariably they will reply "that's really good, I wish I'd had that. My parents didn't care if I did well or not".

My Dad might have been into his sports or music, and encouraged and pushed me that way, for example to pursue a sport to a high level or to be musical. He didn't - he shaped my young mind with "academia and doing well at school at crucial". I soaked the message in from being small.

I therefore had an advantage because of my upbringing and my father's cheerleading and encouragement, over which I had no control.

The messages we are exposed to as children in our home environments are so critical in shaping who we become, including intelligence level, motivation, ambition, and achievement. Of course, there will be outliers - those who had a crappy family home with little to no encouragement and support and have gone on to achieve amazingly well. But in general, we cannot escape the fact that our start in life determines so much of who we become and why. And not one person has any control over that start in life as a child.

This illustrates exactly my point. It is the parenting and support that is the key advantage determining success. And individual personality traits. Not money.

I don't agree. I didn't have family to support me and I still managed to leave home from a rough council estate at 16 with no qualifications. Neither of my parents went to university. I had a child at 24 and then as a single mum started my study at 28 and then qualified as a lawyer at 38.

My motivation was myself as I knew I had no chance of ever buying a house unless i had a career and a good salary.

I worked hard and eventually bought my own place at 41.

@Realitysucks

That's why I said:

Of course, there will be outliers - those who had a crappy family home with little to no encouragement and support and have gone on to achieve amazingly well. But in general, we cannot escape the fact that our start in life determines so much of who we become and why.

@Robinni

It is the parenting and support

which is much much more likely to exist if you have money

So you now have 2 advantages

so people who don’t have money….

are incapable of being decent parents loving and supporting their children…

pull the other one, it’s got bells on.

Money enables a lot of opportunities.

I went to university. My parents didn't earn loads, but they had enough money that they could drive me to Unis across the country for interviews. And they earned enough that if I was to get into financial bother while at uni, they could subsidise it.

They were also able to fund extra activities for us as kids, such as kumom, rainbows etc, tennis and athletic clubs, which are all part in parcel of opening the world up to opportunities that go beyond school, the park and the home which is sadly the breadth of experiences many in poverty have access to.

I remember being 12 and inviting a friend to a beach in Wales with me and my family for a day trip, that friend couldn't comprehended leaving the town for a day out. If your world is that small, it is very hard to break out if it. And I think it can be romanticised that you just have to 'dream big' to change your life, when in the real world its just not that easy.

It is not just support from parents though, a lot of success has to be enabled.

I am a health care professional. I have managed to start my own business which pays me significantly more than if I was to stay in the NHS, yes I worked hard. But I also had a partner that earned well enough to subsidise me for 2 years while I developed my business and wasn't earning much, and with no dependents and living in a cheap part of the Uk, it was fairly easy done. I am under no delusions that it was just hard work that got me where I am.

Being enabled isn't just financial though, I know many people despite how hard they work and what hours they put in they will never be wealthy as there are just too many factors stacked against them. And I think for those where everything has just fallen into place, they can't comprehend this isn't the same for everyone

@Robinni

No one said that though

Save as much as you can. You don't know what tomorrow will bring!

You said parental support was more likely to exist if the parents had money…

not sure how else you would read that.

@Merryclaire not that detailed by my standards. The grandparents don't care and have agreed to help on those terms in the future so not sure why you're taking issue when it doesn't concern you at all?

Hadn't heard of a faberge egg before but thanks for the education. Do you have one?

Thanks to all those who gave private school advice and follow ups, good food for thought!

@Robinni

That its more likely to exist (easier to support kids in education if you value education etc etc) if you have money.

Thats nothing like saying people who don’t have money….

are incapable of being decent parents loving and supporting their children

I’d be very surprised if anyone on MN had a Faberge Egg😯

We’re doing this 🤣
www.royalcaribbean.com/ultimate-world-cruise/
and we like cars …

That looks amazing!! Have the best time!!

Thank you.

Amazing! Can I be cheeky and ask the ballpark price per person?

Have a fabulous time!

Have a lovely time (and avoid covid - cruises have not had a happy time with the pandemic). I also booked our holiday today (first one for me since summer 2019 as 2020 and 2021 holidays were each cancelled by the holiday company two weeks before we were due to leave.

Interested to know how much too @MrsPetty so I have a goal to work towards to 😉✌

@Egghead68 @Madbamboo It’s 52k each 🤦🏼‍♀️ It sounds such an awful lot of money and it is! But we won’t have any expenses for nine months, it includes everything from laundry to drinks … DH is semi retiring just as we leave & he’s 💯 earned this! Our DCs not so much 😂

Thanks. So £100k for a couple, quite a lot of money but a whole 9 months and once in a life time experience. I shall aim to go in 10 years time after the kids leave home 😝..
Have a fabulous time!

Thank you @MrsPetty. Holiday of a lifetime!