Page 22 | High earners - how do you spend your salary?

Citygirly · 2022-05-21T09:03:11+00:00

DH and I earn just under £140k combined. We do maximum pension payments (his is 9% as NHS) and we also give about 10% a month to charity. Other than that, we plan to start overpaying the mortgage. We invest £1k a month (so £500 each) and save £1k for holidays. We of course do general/specific savings but then have a good chunk left over for disposable income. AIBU to ask other high earning households how they tend to allocate their money? Just want to see if we could be using it better or this is about right for comparables.

Robinni · 22/05/2022 20:52

Topgub · 22/05/2022 20:33

@Robinni

How do you know how things are dealt with in state schools? What is your experience of them?

Mmmmm. I'm successful and economically secure. My children will be too.

Id rather everyone was than a select few who are only successful because of daddy's money rather than their own hard work or talent

All of DH family went/go to state schools. DS is at a state school, but looking at moving. Plenty of friends went to state schools..... family of teachers.... Next?

Your attitudes appear very prejudiced... Children in private schools work hard too. Pretty normal for parents to prioritise their available money for the benefit of their children.

fridaRose · 22/05/2022 20:53

'my nephews are both privately educated and are rude, obnoxious little shits who have cash thrown at them. It always makes me chuckle'

You sound bitter @Jmaho

(It's 'extravAgant').

Topgub · 22/05/2022 20:54

@Robinni

My attitudes appear prejudiced?

Mmmmm.

OK then 🤣

Giviningup · 22/05/2022 20:56

well this is depressing.

Jmaho · 22/05/2022 20:57

Robinni · 22/05/2022 20:46

@Jmaho very defensive.... we have a balance of friends from private and state schools, some educated in state have extremely high flying careers. The fact is the majority of kids in state schools are fine, but you do get some who have problem families and they cause disruption for the class, as was my DH experience and as we're seeing now for certain family. State schools are more tied by bureaucracy so it is harder to get the difficult ones shifted on. DS is in an excellent state school but we are looking at moving now due to the large class size and because being in a prep, as for me, would give a higher chance at grammar.

Nobody is looking down on anybody, we are answering specific questions put to us. There is no need to make broad sweeping statements about privately educated children based on your limited experience with spoilt nephews. Just as it would be unfair of me or anyone else to conjecture that all state school kids are problematic - they aren't.

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God you're hilarious. I suggest you go back and read your previous post where you listed out the positive points about private schools compared to state. And you have the nerve to accuse me of making broad sweeping statements! You're a snob that looks down on people. And the reason you're a snob is that you earn a lot of money and therefore think you're better than those who don't. I might not earn as much as you but I'm a decent person who has bought my children up well and they certainly don't look down on anyone and I hope they never will.

Howmuchwood · 22/05/2022 20:57

@jmaho I agree that some privately educated children can be awful, as they get older they see what their parent's money has bought and they do look down their noses at others. I only have my own experience to go on but when I've met people like this they are usually from very rich families but actually struggling academically and their parent's money is a sort of defence mechanism. Its sad to see.

You clearly care a lot about your DC and I you've obviously done a wonderful job bringing them up. I think all teachers would agree that parents are the biggest influence on younger children. Teaching DC respect and the value of education and serving others is always going to stand them in good stead.

Unfortunately in state schools the polite and well mannered children can get overlooked when the teacher has to spend all their time dealing with the 5 or more disruptors. I moved from state to private for secondary and it was a world of difference. In state school I was mocked for getting top marks, in private I was applauded. In state I was laughed at for putting my hand up to answer the teacher and for trying to help others. I was top of the class in both schools but I had a lot more competition in the private school and a lot more opportunities and was pushed in a healthy way to achieve my best. I would never have had the confidence and self belief to do what I have since without those years of private school. I am very thankful for the opportunity.

Topgub · 22/05/2022 20:59

@Howmuchwood

How great would it be if all kids could have that opportunity?

Merryclaire · 22/05/2022 21:02

Citygirly · 22/05/2022 19:41

@Robinni @Howmuchwood @Xenia @RosesAndHellebores @Nc1104 thank you all. That's really helpful and insightful. A few questions.

I always thought that if I would consider private, it would be for secondary. Do you think it would be beneficial from primary level?

In terms of pricing structure, are the music lessons, before and after school club included?

On average how much is it a year?

How much do ski trips etc cost?

Average class size I. Your experience?

How long before TTC would you suggest saving if considering private school and how much would you advise we aim for?

Sorry for all the questions but this advice is really helpful, thank you all.

Why do you want to know the current cost of private school ski trips and music lessons etc when you aren’t even planning on having kids for a few years yet? Seems very odd.

Robinni · 22/05/2022 21:05

Jmaho · 22/05/2022 20:57

God you're hilarious. I suggest you go back and read your previous post where you listed out the positive points about private schools compared to state. And you have the nerve to accuse me of making broad sweeping statements! You're a snob that looks down on people. And the reason you're a snob is that you earn a lot of money and therefore think you're better than those who don't. I might not earn as much as you but I'm a decent person who has bought my children up well and they certainly don't look down on anyone and I hope they never will.

Show quote history

You make a lot of assumptions.

The points I made as to the benefits of private school over state are what is listed on the majority of private school prospectuses - have a look if you don't believe me.

Save for the comments made at the end about the social hobnobbing myself and friends have witnessed whereby people going to the schools make social connections that are advantageous long term.

That's just what it is like....

If you don't like people who have wealth, why are you on a thread discussing how they spend it?

fridaRose · 22/05/2022 21:07

sworlsswirls · 22/05/2022 20:25

Crypto

you're brave!

I know 😞 my husband is much less stressed about it than I am
But I'm always stressed about it

lancsgirl85 · 22/05/2022 21:07

I'm personally incredibly grateful for my public school education experience. I gained 5 A* and 5 A grades at GCSE, went on to do A Levels, and then university 3 times (BSc, MSc and most recently to complete a PhD). I now earn a fair way above the national average salary in a professional role I've worked and studied hard for. I came from a background of relative poverty and a one parent family. It's what you make of it, I guess (certainly in my case anyway).

RosesAndHellebores · 22/05/2022 21:08

Absolutely @Topgub which is precisely why there needs to be levelling up rather than levelling down. The London Borough in which we lived had not one state school that offered a classical language, a choice of MFL and three separate sciences. It's an absolute disgrace. Brompton Oratory did; as did Sacred Heart - we are the wrong religion. Grey Coat did in Westminster; Lady Margaret in Fulham.said they did but then we found out they didn't. My DC are both linguists and plugged into the liberal arts so Tiffin wasn't an option and Sutton Grammar/Wallington too difficult a journey.

Something has to change.

Itshothothot · 22/05/2022 21:09

We concentrated on paying off the mortgage first.

kids activities
high end skincare & make up
m&s food
organic food
designer clothing
cleaner
gardener
nails every 2 weeks
David Lloyds membership

take home pay of 150k a year between us

Jmaho · 22/05/2022 21:13

Howmuchwood · 22/05/2022 20:57

@jmaho I agree that some privately educated children can be awful, as they get older they see what their parent's money has bought and they do look down their noses at others. I only have my own experience to go on but when I've met people like this they are usually from very rich families but actually struggling academically and their parent's money is a sort of defence mechanism. Its sad to see.

You clearly care a lot about your DC and I you've obviously done a wonderful job bringing them up. I think all teachers would agree that parents are the biggest influence on younger children. Teaching DC respect and the value of education and serving others is always going to stand them in good stead.

Unfortunately in state schools the polite and well mannered children can get overlooked when the teacher has to spend all their time dealing with the 5 or more disruptors. I moved from state to private for secondary and it was a world of difference. In state school I was mocked for getting top marks, in private I was applauded. In state I was laughed at for putting my hand up to answer the teacher and for trying to help others. I was top of the class in both schools but I had a lot more competition in the private school and a lot more opportunities and was pushed in a healthy way to achieve my best. I would never have had the confidence and self belief to do what I have since without those years of private school. I am very thankful for the opportunity.

I agree with you. I'm actually not anti private education at all. It's just the sweeping statements about state school that got my back up. We are very lucky with both our local primary and secondary schools. The teachers are very strict about manners, attendance, uniform etc. And bad behaviour is not tolerated at all. The Secretary for Education visited my sons secondary school about a month ago and I received a phonecall from one of his team telling me how proud I should be of my son who spent some time talking to him about what they had been learning about. He said he was blown away by his confidence and positivity for learning. You can imagine how proud I felt!
It is a bit of a touchy subject for me as we are constantly being told how amazing my nephews school is, how they are learning French and about Shakespeare (yes mine are too!) how states schools must be rubbish as the teachers are so poorly paid so only the worst teachers must work there! The absolute best part of it all is that they did actually apply to state school initially but didn't get their catchment school and got offered a school a little further away where there is a high percentage of children who do not speak English as their first language. This was a big no no for my brother in law who believe it or not is an Immigration Lawyer!!

MrsDisney · 22/05/2022 21:13

Was hoping this thread was a joke! 😳
absolutely depressing

Mummybud · 22/05/2022 21:14

Jmaho · 22/05/2022 20:30

I'd read through all the nonsense about £140hk not being a high salary plus the usual ridiculousness about it not going far when you have a big mortgage and childcare to pay. But now we're onto how state schools are utterly shit full of feral vile children and I can't bite my tongue. Some of you are so out of touch with the real world its laughable. Because you earn lots of money you look down your noses at the rest of us like we're dort at the bottom of your shoe.
My children attend state schools and are well mannered, extremely bright and going to do really well in life. Above all else they're well adjusted and in touch with the world around them. Oh and most important of all they're happy! As we are talking anecdotally, my nephews are both privately educated and are rude, obnoxious little shits who have cash thrown at them. It always makes me chuckle as when we attend their extravegant birthday parties it is my children whose hands are up answering questions and getting involved when the private school children sit there sullen faced and looking bored
On a recent visit my nephews both sat in their rooms playing computer refusing to either say hello or goodbye to us whilst my feral poor state educated children were downstairs either helping out with the food or talking politics with my brother in law
Whilst we don't have the money or inclination for private school we make up for this with time. Without high flying careers and salaries we are able to attend every school event, help with homework and all eat dinner together around the table at night. So you can all piss off with your assumptions that your children are more intelligent and better people because of the education that you pay for

Genuine question: if your children (who sound brilliant) grow up with the potential to have “high flying careers and salaries” but in order to make
those careers work they need to send their kids to private school because they wouldn’t be “able to attend every school event, help with homework and eat dinner together around the table at night” - would you want them to do it? Or forego their
ambition and earning potential to be (in you view) more “present”?

Because a lot of us are those kids.

Topgub · 22/05/2022 21:16

@RosesAndHellebores

Fuck me.

Yeah those are real struggles

dillydally24 · 22/05/2022 21:20

Put as much as you can into savings. Are you sure you've maxed out your pension contributions? You can put in £40k or 100% of your gross income per annum into a pension fund and you get tax relief on your contributions at your highest marginal rate so it's a great way to save. You can then fill up your ISAs. You each have a £20k per annum ISA allowance, split between a £4k LISA and £16k normal ISA. Contributions to the LISA get a boost of 25% from the government (which turns £4k to £5k), but can't be used until after you hit 60. If you have kids, each of them will have a £9k junior ISA allowance per annum. Establishing junior ISAs for your kids is a great way to save for their future, but the cash is legally theirs and you can't stop them spending it when they hit 18. If you have anything left over, you can pay into a pension fund for your kids. You can contribute up to £3,600 gross for each kid, which benefits from tax relief at 20%. Make sure all your savings are invested in the markets. With inflation running at 10% they will lose value if left in cash. Once you've put a chunk into savings, enjoy yourself. We spend our excess cash (once we've paid for our mortgage and utilities, childcare, doggy daycare, charity contributions and savings as per the above) on nice food, gym membership, art and antiques, and one nice holiday a year.

Newmumatlast · 22/05/2022 21:20

RosesAndHellebores · 22/05/2022 19:27

@Citygirly the other thing about private schools, and ours went to London Day Schools is the subject specialisation early on and introduction of languages. From age 7/8 French, Maths Science, English, Ancient History/early Latin, Geography and History were all taught by subject specialists. Both children have very sound friendship groups which are carrying through with them.

DS is finishing a PhD, DD shortly due to start a Masters in Speech and Language therapy. Both went to Oxbridge. DS very sporty and DD very musical and both those interests were well catered for.

If both DC work for 35 years and earn £20k more per year than they otherwise would have (entirely feasible) the differential should be £700,000 between them. Jointly their educations have cost us about £350,000. But well worth it in every way apart from that.

DH went to the local comp and became a lawyer (barrister). He was insistent the children should learn Latin because he felt it was something he missed out on. He was about 27 when we met and didn't have the self confidence I had despite having a brain like a planet.

So I'm like your DH. It's the lack of self confidence and belief that is making me consider private for my children at least at secondary. State worked for me in terms of where I am now but I'm more in the minority, I do feel out of place in a lot of rooms, and I have poor self esteem. I also don't have the contacts others have. I havent decided yet but it is something that keeps niggling at me about whether state is the right choice if I can afford private.

lancsgirl85 · 22/05/2022 21:21

Oh and my PhD is also from a Russell Group university (apparently that's a thing, which I didn't realise before being on MN - although frankly it makes no difference to me or my employer so long as I'm qualified!). So there you go. State school education and PhD from prestigious uni. Guess I'm an outlier? 🤔😂

Tallulah1972 · 22/05/2022 21:23

I stopped reading at ‘earn just under £140k’.
can’t even begin to imagine…

Original poster

Citygirly · 22/05/2022 21:23

dillydally24 · 22/05/2022 21:20

Put as much as you can into savings. Are you sure you've maxed out your pension contributions? You can put in £40k or 100% of your gross income per annum into a pension fund and you get tax relief on your contributions at your highest marginal rate so it's a great way to save. You can then fill up your ISAs. You each have a £20k per annum ISA allowance, split between a £4k LISA and £16k normal ISA. Contributions to the LISA get a boost of 25% from the government (which turns £4k to £5k), but can't be used until after you hit 60. If you have kids, each of them will have a £9k junior ISA allowance per annum. Establishing junior ISAs for your kids is a great way to save for their future, but the cash is legally theirs and you can't stop them spending it when they hit 18. If you have anything left over, you can pay into a pension fund for your kids. You can contribute up to £3,600 gross for each kid, which benefits from tax relief at 20%. Make sure all your savings are invested in the markets. With inflation running at 10% they will lose value if left in cash. Once you've put a chunk into savings, enjoy yourself. We spend our excess cash (once we've paid for our mortgage and utilities, childcare, doggy daycare, charity contributions and savings as per the above) on nice food, gym membership, art and antiques, and one nice holiday a year.

This is really helpful, thank you. I was under the impression I could only do 5% with my workplace scheme. I'll have to check this.
(This is why it is good to ask! I thought I was doing the maximum I could).

We invest more than we save but I would like more cash savings than DH as having the money readily accessible makes me feel more comfortable. However, I completely appreciate it is better long term to invest so our money is beating inflation. I suppose it's just working out how much we should have access to easily.

OP posts:

Eeiliethya · 22/05/2022 21:24

I just carry on living modestly like I did before I started earning a high salary.
I come from a very working class background, I would feel a bit of a twat if I suddenly started floating round with designer bling and a Range Rover.

As long as everything's covered, bit goes in savings, I generally live for the moment and not overthink it. I enjoy being able to take my family for nice meals and holidays they wouldn't be able to do otherwise (my mum especially, she sacrificed a lot for me growing up).

The only real luxuries I would say I have is my cleaner andI invest in good skincare products and well fitted clothes.

It's not something I generally discuss with people, some of the people I work with who have to shoehorn their luxurious lifestyle into every conversation and slap their Mulberry bag under everyone's noses makes me cringe.

Lovemyheathershimmer · 22/05/2022 21:28

Jmaho
👏👏👏👏

Howmuchwood · 22/05/2022 21:30

@jmaho if I were you I'd just let your brash nephews / family remarks wash over you and take comfthat you're doing an amazing job as you are. Your DC will no doubt go on to great things, and don't let the experience with your nephews put you or them off private school, just remember there are arseholes everywhere unfortunately and best to steer clear if you meet one regardless.

@topgub i agree and as the child and grandchild of teachers it is a travesty that education budgets are still being cut especially after the last few years of chaos in schools. I won a scholarship to private school and honestly thank my lucky stars for it. I wish there was a way to give all children access to what I had but until govt funds early years and schools properly its pie in the sky thinking. Write to your MP, write to the education secretary and encourage everyone you know to do the same.