Wedding day timings - please help!

[WeddingHelp2023]

I’m planning a wedding for 2023 and really struggling decide on timings for the day. AIBU to ask for your help and advice?

The wedding will be on a Saturday in August. The ceremony will be in a church, followed by a reception at a separate venue (10 mins drive away, transport provided). We expect ~100 guests inc. 6-7 children.

I really want people to have a good time, and it’s important to me that guests are suitably fed and watered, and that they don’t get too bored!

My current thoughts are:
3-3.30pm - ceremony
3.30-4pm - a group photo inc. all guests outside of the church (is this unrealistic given guest numbers?) and transport + transport related faff
4-5.45pm - drinks (2.5 per person?) canapés (6-8 per person?) and lawn games
5.45-8pm - sit down meal with wine & speeches. Choice of 3 options for each course.
8-11.00pm dancing, some money behind bar and then cash bar (money enough for 1-2 drinks each, this will be made clear to guests in advance, budget doesn’t stretch to a full free bar unfortunately). We will have evening food - maybe at 9.30? Cake cutting and first dance in this time period too.

There will be a separate quiet ‘breakout’ area from the main room.

Am I missing anything?

My concerns/thoughts:

1. I want to spend the drinks reception chatting to guests and I’m worried that photos will eat into that time too much… but at the same time I want nice photos of me, my partner, bridesmaids, immediate family etc. how do I make this work?


2. Is it worth getting a videographer?


3. Is one photographer enough?


4. Are the timings ok? I’m worried the ceremony is too late and that the day will feel rushed… but I don’t want people getting bored?

Things would have to run very smoothly with that time schedule, is half a hour long enough for photos? Also half hour in church is very short as your need to sign the documents

I would start evening meal at 5 and have nibbles at maybe 10pm?

We had a 3pm ceremony and didn't feel rushed - although we did do first look and couples photos before the ceremony so we had nearly the full cocktail hour.
Perhaps do the close family group shots before leaving the church, and then you'll just have some couples photos during drinks? We had to do photos in advance because it was November and there wouldn't have been enough light! Our photographer also did more photos with us whilst people were being seated for dinner, and they'll often grab you sit before sunset.

We had one photographer for 65 guests, and I think it would have been fine with 100 guests.

We didn't have a videographer - it would have been great and most people who have one rave about it - but there just wasn't room in the budget and we have so many lovely photos I don't feel I missed out. We did Go Pro the ceremony (although forgot speeches) so I'd recommend that!

Timings look good - although I'd push back evening food if the venue will let you because people won't be hungry by then (they weren't with us!) - although exception is if you have evening only guests?

Your guests won’t be rushing but you will. And that’s a lot of food in a short space of time. I had similar timings. Canapés went down a storm, meal was found to be tasty but people were stuffed by the end (and it was fancy so little portions) then the cake was barely touched. Evening food might as well have stayed in the kitchen as no one ate any.

I would think 30 mins isn't long enough for photo either. People will want to mill around chatting after church - it can be a bit like herding cats. I'd worry you won't get the reception in time for canapes, so you will have paid for them but not had time to enjoy them?

Have you spoken to the vicar about the length of the ceremony, and if that time is available?

Your ceremony is quite late, is that the slot the church had available?

Are you having any evening guests? Or is everyone there from the start?

Ours was all in one place. We had the ceremony at 2pm, drinks, canopes and photos after with a pianist, 4pm we did speeches first and wedding breakfast. Then around 6.30 a magician arrived while dh & I had a few photos on our own. Evening guests arrived at 7. Cake cutting at 8pm / first dance. Evening food was 9ish, dancing till 12.30.

We had a couple for our photographer ls which worked really well, she was with me and he was with dh. Was nice as they both managed to capture our first look.

If you're happy with the set up of your day then that's what matters. We had people after saying they loved our day and felt it went so fast. No one was bored!

I loved planning our wedding 🥰

Looks about the same as our wedding timings, although you might want to bring your ceremony to 2.30pm allowing for faffing and signing of register etc.
You'll be getting your fancy photos during the drinks canapes time I'd have thought, that's more to entertain your guests while you're busy.
And make sure to specify to the bar what free bar includes - i.e. not double shots or large glasses of wine, or full bottles of spirits
Are you sure you need evening food? If you've not finished eating until 8pm and then everyone is drinking, they probably don't need more food at 9.30pm?

I would be tempted to start the ceremony earlier as it doesn't give you much time, even though it is a short journey to the reception. You have to factor in the time it takes to load 100 on coaches/buses if that's what you're doing. I would aim for a 2pm/2.30pm ceremony and then aim to have the meal as sit down for 5pm until 7.30pm. I've been to weddings before where the meal has gone on so long that it eats into the evening dancing (a problem if the reception venue requires you to move out of the dining room in order to convert it to the dance floor).

5:45 is still fairly early to eat, so I'd allow more time for pix and transport

Id have the ceremony at 2 and cut out at least an hour from the unnecessary lawn games nonsense.

Have the dinner at 5. 2 hours max.

Party from then. Evening for at 930.

I think the timing of your ceremony is fine, it is better than having a big gap between ceremony and wedding meal. I assume the majority of your photos will be between 4-5:45pm, not sure how you would manage the 2.5 drinks per person during this.

If you're feeding people twice I'd move the ceremony by at least an hour. Especially as its a church wedding the time moving people from a to b takes longer than you think. You will get plenty of time to chat to people if your photographer is experienced they can do the group shots quite quickly. Have a list of must have shots.
What does the planner at the venue think, they should have some idea of how things usually work.
Definitely do speeches after the meal it's so much better when a few drinks have been consumed!

I think drinks/canapés are too long...nearly 2 hrs, guests will get a little antsy.

All very helpful and kind! Thank you so so much. I’m going to give a lot more thought to the go pro for the ceremony (what a good idea!) and, if we stick with current timings, potentially doing some couple photos before the ceremony.

I think you’re all right though, the timings are slightly off! I think I just went with the shortest time I thought possible for everything and the maximum amount of food and drink we can afford out of paranoia that people would be hungry/bored!

Do you think that, if we did keep our current dinner timing or thereabouts, we could get rid of the evening food and do cake only?

Sorry - to answer the questions, there are no evening guests, just ~100 for the day. The dinner and dancing rooms are separate.

Hilarious. My friend tried to micromanage his wedding timings. I used to listen to him on the phone saying things like 'shall we go for ten past then? Or maybe quarter past?' Exhausting.

In the end there was a massive crash on the motorway and they had to wait 2.5 hours for the bride's mum to turn up.

Lawn games? What fresh hell is this?

My relative started her wedding at 4 and it was perfect. Half an hour for photos was great for the guests as no waiting around. I think your timings sound great.

It's a late time for the ceremony, can this be changed, also the meal is quite late, I'd normally expect to be eating about 2 at the latest. Canapes and drinks in between whilst photos are happening, ditch the lawn games, let people chill with a drink in the grounds and evening food around 8

What do the women wear on their feet for lawn games?

Your ceremony can never be too late. Mine was at 6pm. Guests just want to eat and drink. Forcing them to hang around for hours is torture.

If the budget stretches, I’d get two photographers and a videographer. Two photographers was wonderful for getting two perspectives on the same moment. I have pictures of me walking down the aisle at the same time as pictures of my husband’s face when he saw me, for example. A second shooter isn’t usually too much more than one, as the bulk of the fee goes on the main photographer and their editing etc. so you are just covering the day fee for the other one. But for us videographer was the biggest one. We were not going to do it, and made a last minute decision. We didn’t get anything fancy so it wasn’t too expensive in the grand scheme but it was priceless for helping remember the day. For me it was special to watch everyone arriving and hugging, which I completely missed obviously, the ceremony, the speeches. We have also lost people since and there’s something very special about seeing real laughs and smiles beyond a photograph from people we can’t see anymore. So if you can afford it, do it. We watch it on our anniversary every year and are always in hysterics laughing and crying by the end lol.

But if budget means choosing between second shooter or videographer, I’d go for videographer.

I absolutely do think you can get rid of your evening food. Cake (with tea/coffee) will be fine. The bit I feel a little unsure of is having 4pm - 5.45 pm for your pre-dinner mingle/photos and only offering people 2.5 drinks in that time. That’s 42 minutes for each of your first drink and 42 minutes with you second drink and 21 minutes with your half-glass if you see what I mean? (Or 2.5 drinks consumed in about an hour and a lot of standing around wishing you had a drink).

Even if people are drinking at a pretty slow rate, that’s a long time. It’s not a natural pace. I think you need about one drink every 25 minutes - so about 4 per head. Try and time yourself over drinks in the pub with people you know and then think how much more often you sip when you are standing up and chatting with people you don’t know so well - and it can feel very awkward to be at a reception with an empty glass.

The pre-dinner mingle is the bit where it gets going and people start to relax, enjoy themselves and decide it’s going to be a good night or the bit where they get bored, don’t have enough to drink, feel awkward and resolve to slip away after the speeches. I would redeploy some budget here and perhaps trim 15 minutes off it if you can.

I would definitely get a video done. I have looked at ours recently from 20 years ago and it is a wonderful record of our family and friends from that time especially of the older ones who are no longer with us.

I would consider having the ceremony a bit earlier.