Wedding day timings - please help!

[WeddingHelp2023]

I’m planning a wedding for 2023 and really struggling decide on timings for the day. AIBU to ask for your help and advice?

The wedding will be on a Saturday in August. The ceremony will be in a church, followed by a reception at a separate venue (10 mins drive away, transport provided). We expect ~100 guests inc. 6-7 children.

I really want people to have a good time, and it’s important to me that guests are suitably fed and watered, and that they don’t get too bored!

My current thoughts are:
3-3.30pm - ceremony
3.30-4pm - a group photo inc. all guests outside of the church (is this unrealistic given guest numbers?) and transport + transport related faff
4-5.45pm - drinks (2.5 per person?) canapés (6-8 per person?) and lawn games
5.45-8pm - sit down meal with wine & speeches. Choice of 3 options for each course.
8-11.00pm dancing, some money behind bar and then cash bar (money enough for 1-2 drinks each, this will be made clear to guests in advance, budget doesn’t stretch to a full free bar unfortunately). We will have evening food - maybe at 9.30? Cake cutting and first dance in this time period too.

There will be a separate quiet ‘breakout’ area from the main room.

Am I missing anything?

My concerns/thoughts:

1. I want to spend the drinks reception chatting to guests and I’m worried that photos will eat into that time too much… but at the same time I want nice photos of me, my partner, bridesmaids, immediate family etc. how do I make this work?


2. Is it worth getting a videographer?


3. Is one photographer enough?


4. Are the timings ok? I’m worried the ceremony is too late and that the day will feel rushed… but I don’t want people getting bored?

We had our church ceremony at 4:15! so I'm laughing at people worried yours is a bit late. If you don't have masses of extras it can be over in half an hour, and 45 minutes is reasonable. (My childhood church spaced weddings 75 minutes apart, and the bellringers would normally be finished before the next lot of guests arrived.)

though we had the reception in the hall just over the road, and didn't have the canapes just went straight into (sit-down) buffet meal around 6. Did all photos in the churchyard (very fortunate with the weather...) except pretending to cut the cake. Because we'd gone for a buffet we just left it to be finished off during the evening (cue dozens of posters horrified at Leaving Food Out)

When I was little a photo of All Guests was pretty standard - we have several in our family collection, 100 being quite normal. Mostly along the long wall of the church though obviously that depends on the graveyard layout!

Some really interesting points, thanks all! I’m seems the consensus is ‘lawn games’ (perhaps not the right term, a couple of croquet sets put out and a giant chess board with pieces etc) should go! Mixed reviews on planned timings. Definitely going to make sure I have a video now and will get quotes for a 2nd photographer.

The thing about photos is it can be efficient if people know beforehand. So, when everyone’s coming in or getting seated, if the ushers go round welcoming people and saying there will be a group photo immediately after, then people know that’s what is happening. It can be done lightly “the sooner we get it done, the sooner we’ll be on our way for a drink and canapés”. For photos with family, let them know beforehand when and where they’ll be needed.

I think women will struggle to play if wearing heels leaving them to watch all the men get hyper competitive.

@orwellwasright

Lawn games are fine if the weather is too (though mind the croquet hoops are taken out when it gets dark). Women can obv kick off shoes to participate. And don't need to for chess. Though would also do draughts.

OP not too many group photos. Get a site where guests can upload the ones they take. And brief your videographer well.

Op start at the band / first dance and work backwards.

First dance 8.00
Band set up / evening guests arrive 7.30
Meal & speeches 5.00
Photos- 4.00
Travel time from church- 3.45
Wedding 2.45

I'd actually go for 2.30 or 2.00 wedding. Everything takes a little longer than you think and you never know what can go wrong.

I'd move it forward a bit and leave an hour for ceremony. Canapés could take the place of the starter if they are substantial. We just had cake and cheese/biscuits in the evening as our meal was at 6.

Lawn games sound fun, I'd leave them!

Oh and I think one or two photos outside church is fine but don't like it when couples do loads outside church and we just watch - I'm looking forward to a drink by then!!

Sounds very similar to my wedding timings though our church ceremony was 1hr. I don't think people would be too hungry at 9.30pm of they finished pudding at 8pm. I'd shift the evening food to maybe 10.30pm. We had a cheese platter and the cake as evening food.

With the choice of 3 different meals will this add complications for the staff on the day? We chose a beef main and asked for vege/vegan/dietary requirements in the invitation.

The main thing that went wrong at my wedding was the service from the caterers. We had provided plenty of booze and other drinks throughout the whole day but they just didn't seem to have enough staff or were useless so guests only seemed to get one afternoon drink, no top ups during dinner. Our table didn't even get bubbles for the toast 🙈 I was very stressed!!

We just had one photographer and was very happy with the photos. I wouldn't place too much time doing photos. You end up printing out about 4 nice ones to put around the house then never look at the rest again.
We didn't have a videographer.
I'd plough as much money as you can into the food, drink and entertainment rather than photos, flowers etc.
A pic of the group outside the church sounds lovely and probably the easiest bit of the day to arrange it.

Good luck xx

I think the afternoon ceremony is a great idea. Ours was at four. It means guests who are travelling can set off on the same day, and everyone has time for proper lunch. And with your main meal in the evening, no, you definitely don’t need an extra round of food. We just served the cake later on, and most people were still full and didn’t want it.
Bear in mind, if you’re planning to do the bulk of the photos while mingling and having drinks, that this will probably be nice for everyone except you. There will be approximately three photos of the groom and best man that you won’t be in- so you’ll be stuck being photographed, not enjoying the reception. I’m not sure there’s an alternative though, unless you either skip the photos altogether or make everyone watch with no drinks (not recommended). And don’t underestimate how long it will take to round people up for the group shots. You really need an assertive wedding party to help herd. Mine were too nice and scared of upsetting people, so it ended with an annoyed bride stomping round shouting “where the fuck are my brothers?!”

Think about amusing the kids too. We got colouring book, pencils, small toy for each of their place settings. Helped to keep them busy during speaches/meal. If we could have stretched the budget I would have organised a couple of baby sitters to amuse/watch the kids and let the parents relax.

I would allow extra time for photos. Family and friends will want to take their own of you both as a couple and some will want themselves and you in them. This could take a while given there's a reasonable number going.

I'd take advice from the venue. They'll be used to running these things and know how they tend to work out timings wise.

Will your church do 3pm? My church stopped doing weddings after 1pm

Don't do lawn games! Every time I've been to an event with games the men have taken over completely, upsetting any kids who aren't allowed to play and leaving the women to stand around and watch.
Also, during the 2 hours of drinks and snacks, will there be any seating or will everyone have to stand?

I would aim for the move to the Reception to be later.

I would expect a Church ceremony (incl signing the register) to take 40mins.
Then ask the Minister / Vicar to announce to the guests you would like everybody to please follow you out to take one big photo altogether straight away before people start wandering off.
Then I would do all your other group photos there at the Church. Give the photographer and your Ushers a list of who you want in groups and get the Ushers to be rounding up the next group whilst the photographer is taking pictures, then you don't have big wait times between photos as you are looking for your Dad who hasn't heard his name being called or your sister who has gone to the loo or whatever.
(I don't know your Church, but I am a big fan of serving a cuppa and some cake at the Church while the photos are being taken...... a fraction of the price of 'canapes' at a wedding venue, and it means people aren't having loads of alcohol on an empty stomach, and a lot of people are ready for a cuppa by that point).
Then, once you get to the venue, you only need a short time for a few 'romantic shots' of you and your dh.
Only one drink is generally expected.

Are you set on providing transport ? I wouldn't want to go on a coach or whatever, I'd much prefer to take own car if only 10mins away...... means you can leave at a time that suits you....means you can take your 'dancing shoes'....or leave your hat in the car..... you can still have a drink and get a taxi then pick up your car the next day, or get a family member or friend to drop you there or whatever. That's going to cost a lot and I'm not sure how many would want it.

We had a 3pm ceremony with a sit-down meal at 6.30pm and the wedding cake as dessert.

I loved it, it is a far more normal time to eat, and you don't have to think about evening food as well.

We served tea/coffee and bite size cake (not the wedding cake) after the ceremony with the option to order beer/wine /procecco which some guests did. Most people stayed locally so they had time to have lunch before driving to the ceremony.

For us it was important to be able to sit down, not standing for hours waiting for food to be served. It was also nice talking to people.

Not a popular opinion but we did the couple photos prior to the ceremony, we wanted a specific location and it worked better doing it on the way to the ceremony. We did group photos afterwards and it nicely cut down the time for people waiting around as well.

We did cheese platters & cake for evening food and it went down well.