NDN Baby

[Besswess88]

They moved in just under a year or so ago on the attached side. Landlord is a bit of an arsehole hence I get a new set regularly.

They have a child who is about 2 years old, and they have a 3 bedroom house, master bedrooms back on to each other.

Most mornings I have been woken up at 5:30 am (weekdays and weekends) by the child absolutely screaming it’s head off (I have been awake for half an hour this morning and she is still going, they the parents start yelling at each other). I get up my at 7am for work. I like to sleep a full night.

I am literally at the point where I cannot fucking cope with this anymore, I have taken annual leave and been woken every single morning and not able to sleep in. I have gone away for the weekend to get away from this.

Do I put an understanding note through the door but maybe asking if the could take her into a different room when unable to sooth her? There is a language barrier so am unsure what to do but I am at my wits end, I have been there and done this with my own kids, I don’t want to do it with a child I have no emotional investment in.

I also want a full nights sleep.

You’re better off going to be earlier as sleep before midnight is the best quality and most restorative sleep. Why don’t you make use of the early starts instead of just resenting them? My advice is to work on your mindset instead of just dwelling on the fact that you’re being woken earlier than desired. Control the controllables and all that

For goodness sake, they cannot control what time their baby wakes up. Buy some earplugs

Try ear plugs and if they don't work, move bedrooms. You say your bed doesn't fit in another room, but you have 3 bedrooms and most bedrooms aren't so tiny that they won't fit a king size bed. Putting a note under their door when they don't speak English isn't going to help is it? All that's likely to happen is that they're then pissed off with you, as well as sleep-deprived themselves and you might find the problem them gets worse with more banging and screaming.

I do sympathise OP. It's one thing being woken by your own baby but this sounds infuriating. That said you obviously can't stop the baby crying so in there any way you can insulate the party wall on your side to reduce the noise? It will be an expense and a hassle for you but may be worth it in he long run for your own sanity.

Try earplugs OP.

my SS has ASD and he still woke up super early and cried/screamed/sang at the top of his voice constantly till he was around 4, now it’s later thankfully but it was a good job our walls are thick, everyone in the house was sleep deprived and made us hella grumpy at each other so understand them arguing but if they knew you could hear they may atleast tone done the shouting.

I sympathise OP. Had similar a few years ago. I invested in some Bose Sleepbuds. They play white noise, are super comfy and you can set an alarm on them. Ear hoops much cheaper, also good, but no alarm. I also got a light alarm in case the earbuds didn’t work.

Sleep deprivation sucks, but it can also make you unreasonable, so you need to breathe and recognise that you have a certain set of choices and within those choices you will have to prioritise your goals. For example, is your sleep more important or your evening downtime, as the reality of the situation is that when you live in a city, in close quarters with some neighbours you may not get both.

I would politely approach neighbours. See if it improves. But it might not, so you have to go back to the “what-do-I-need-most” question.

OMG I can't believe how many people think that the OP should just put up with it.

This is the neighbour's problem. No, they can't control what time their child wakes, but they can manage it better. One of the neighbours needs to get up at 5.30 when their child wakes and take them downstairs to tend to them, give them breakfast, play with them etc. There's no reason to allow them to scream for hours upstairs. And there's certainly no reason for the parents to be screaming too. The neighbours need to realise that they have an early waking baby, and organise their own lives/routines/bedtimes in order to deal with this. They need to accept that for the time being, their day starts at 5.30.

MissNothing1991
For goodness sake, they cannot control what time their baby wakes up. Buy some earplugs

Of course they can’t but the can control they’re own reaction to it. Most parents would not leave a baby/toddler to scream for an hour. They’d either try to comfort it or take it downstairs to watch TV or iPad, or some other distraction.

Start making noise in your bedroom - e.g. have a loud phone call when you know they’re in their bedroom. Once they realise how thin the walls are and how much can be heard they might do something about it.

If you don’t make much noise they might be completely oblivious that you can hear all their noise.

I recommend the mouldable wax earplugs. Put them into your closed hand for a minute and the warmth softens them up, then shape them a bit, insert and mould them to the shape of your ear. They worked for me when dealing with my exH's awful snoring. You can get them from Boots, Lloyds Pharmacy etc.

I spent a lot of money getting my bedroom just how I want it. I also have a memory foam mattress because I have back problems from a tumour on my spine. It’s the only room the bed will fit in - MY fucking bedroom!!

Yanbu. It's not your baby, so it's not your issue to put up with. They may be trying to deal with this or it could be an issue with the child, but knowing that it is impacting people around them they might be more considerate. Maybe they should move the baby to another room, why should the op move she isn't the problem!! The fact that you have put up with it over a year , they might be completely unaware that it is so loud and an issue.

The fact that she settles eventually is a good sign. I mean ideally one parent would get up at 5 and take her downstairs. I certainly did. But I don't think you can expect them to do this automatically. You could ask I suppose.

I'd be banging my fist very loudly on the wall. Each and every time.

Some people are just inconsiderate arseholes but only on MN would you be told to get earplugs!

I love how everyone is falling over themselves telling OP to reorganise her house, buy new furniture and up-end her sleep schedule to fit around someone else’s child, whilst the parents of said child get to do absolutely fuck all about the situation.

Anyone questioning that just gets a wail of “you’re lucky it’s not your child, parenting is haaaaaard!”

I think it says an awful lot about how much parents expect everyone else to put up with so that they don’t have to suffer the impact on THEIR life of THEIR decision to have a child.

YANBU, OP. I’d ask them to a) get out of bed and tend to child as its parent and b) stop screaming themselves.