Cheeky Fucker - Group Gift

[TulaOfDarkWater]

Friendship group of six. One member has a birthday coming up & the other five people decided to get together & buy her a big ticket item.

Site A sells the item for £500 so £100 per person, everyone agreed & was happy with this.

Site B has a deluxe version for £700 so £140 per person, everyone agreed this was out of budget & unanimously decided to go with the £500 option from site A.

Just before the item could be purchased, a member of the group, let’s call her Anne, said she had a 20% off voucher for site B which was due to expire soon & it would be silly to waste it so how about we use it to buy the deluxe version & pay a little extra as birthday girl has had a shitty time of it lately etc.

In the group chat, we discussed:

£700 - 20% = £560

£560 / 5 = £112 per person

Anne thumbs up emoji liked this message!

Everyone agreed they could stretch to the £12 extra & it was decided that we would buy the deluxe item from Site B. The ONLY reason we agreed to this was due to the discount voucher, everyone was happy to purchase from site A otherwise.

Anne purchased the item using the voucher & sent everyone her bank details asking for £140. When this was queried, Anne said the 20% voucher represented her 1/5 contribution & so everyone else owes £140.

1. Anne knows the reason the £700 option was vetoed in the first place was because everyone - including Anne - agreed £140 was out of budget

1. At no time did Anne say the 20% voucher was her contribution & the rest of us had to pay full price. Another member of the group had the exact same voucher & we could have used hers if we had known

1. There are text messages where the group discussed the maths & agreed to £12 extra each & Anne did not dispute this & in fact thumbs up emoji’d it. Her excuse for this is she didn’t read the messages properly, the thumbs up was a mistake / she didn’t do it deliberately / know it was there & she is bad at maths anyway so tuned out!

So am I being unreasonable to think Anne is a cheeky fucker & deliberately mislead us? If we had stuck to the original plan then Anne would have had to pay £100 but this way she pays nothing & the rest of us an extra £40!!

Just to be clear, this voucher was one of those promotional email ones that are sent to those on the company’s mailing list, it wasn’t a voucher that had any monetary value or was a gift to her which would be different & like I said, another member had the exact same voucher which she was happy for us to use instead if we had known this is what Anne was doing.

Cheecky indeed! Just transfer the 112 and tell her that this is what you all agreed. Also, the "I didn't read the message" argument is just silly and has no real value.

This is the text message to post up. 100% this.

Unfortunately, I see this very much as the end of the buying large presents for anyone in the group and for Anne to be slowly removed from the group for her CFkery.

That's the thing, she's using everyone else's concern not to upset their sick friend to enable her to weasel out of paying her share (and incidentally stick them with a bigger bill). Can't get much lower than that.

Sounds like the ball is in your court. Send her the £112 as agreed.

"I'm sorry Anne, we all very clearly said we couldn't afford £140 further up the thread, and we all agreed very clearly to pay £112 each. I'm sorry if you didn't read the messages, but that is what we all agreed. So are you alright with us paying £112 each, as agreed? Alternatively, if you can't afford £112 then the best thing will be to return it and get a refund and the four of us will find another gift for £100 each and you can get something separately. You cheeky f***"

That’s perfect. Send that before any of you send her any money. That way, Anne’s got options. She pays her share or she returns the item.
And if she won’t contribute the four of you can get the cheaper option and pay slightly more for it.
I know you don’t want to upset your friend, but CF is counting on that, and does need to be called out, however nicely. And reminded that this is a special gift for a poorly friend and you are all a bit shocked at her CF behaviour

I wouldn't be putting in the 'are you okay with us paying £112 each' as she's clearly not! Best to keep it to the point and entirely factual. Give her no room to counter-manoeuvre!

My hand slipped, which is why I personally voted YABU. I assume that's also the case for the other 27 people out of 2800-odd who voted YABU

I think you should tell Anne to return the machine for a refund and somebody else orders a new one at the £500 although if Anne drops out then you run the risk of having to pay £125 each but I would rather do that than be shafted by Anne, out of principle. I was going to say just pay the £112 but you run the risk of Anne not handing over the machine and then everyone is out of pocket.

Why on earth should you say 'are you alright with us paying £112 each'. Just why?
She's fleecing you. Or trying to.

I'd just say 'don't be ridiculous, you're not getting away with paying nothing as a result of a marketing email! Send it back, we'll all do our own thing and you can join in if you want'

I wouldn't send a penny until it's all sorted and confirmed.

just say you can’t afford £140 and didn’t realise that’s what you would be paying, let’s return it and buy the cheaper one for £100 each.

I wouldn't do that - I'd either give her the £112 as agreed (as long as there's no chance of her keeping the money and then not buying/returning the dearer one) - or calling her out on it, as BrilloSolar and Fidodidit have wisely summarised it, telling her to return it if she complains and then getting the honest person to order it instead with the discount code.

Now that you've agreed to buy your friend the better one and spend an extra £12 each, it would be a shame for her to miss out on that.

I really cannot fathom how Anne would genuinely believe that that an everyday discount code represents a contribution from her - it's no different from a high street shop advertising 20% off everything and then expecting to take the difference between the current price and the original price/RRP as your own share.

I wonder if she was hoping to (quite literally) cash in on the ambiguity between the two meanings of the word 'voucher': an actual pre-paid cash equivalent for which somebody has handed over £140 in actual money and a code to click on to instantly reduce the price. Then again, even if she had had an actual £140 gift voucher restricted for use with that retailer only that she wanted to use/release to avoid spending further universally-accepted money, surely a normal friend without an ulterior motive wouldn't expect you all to pay an extra £40 each just to enable her to do that?!

Ah that's so Anne. I've never liked her.

Send £112 and a middle finger emoji and then say that was a mistake.

£112 ffs

Now that you've agreed to buy your friend the better one and spend an extra £12 each, it would be a shame for her to miss out on that.

Actually, re-thinking that, of course it would still be £140 each if the cost of the (discounted) dearer option is only split between four people, if Anne was lying all along and never actually intending to contribute at all (rather than being willing to pay if she couldn't avoid it but nevertheless trying her luck anyway).

Either way, don't let Anne make out that the present is partly from her if she doesn't pay her fair share. It would be very different if she'd just lost her job or something and regretted being unable to pay her way to contribute to a joint gift for a valued friend, but not when she's deliberately deceived you to get you all to pay more purely to score herself a freebie.

My hand slipped, which is why I personally voted YABU. I assume that's also the case for the other 27 people out of 2800-odd who voted YABU

@KarenOLantern you can change your vote by clicking on YANBU 🙂

@CandidaAlbicans2 I didn't know that, thanks! :)

From the results of the poll, I'm starting to think some users hit the yabu to just be arses. This is a no brainer.

Op do not pay more than what was agreed.

I’m Iin a similar very close friendship with one friend very sick
we have known each other for many years

if something like this happened, there would be no bitching and sure as heck none of us would start a mumsnet thread talking about how they’ll likely end the friendship of it

We would discuss and would be resolved in a message or two

Oops didn't see post above 🤣🤣🤣🤣 sorry

I read this on the train home last night but bad internet signal.

I'd be appalled at Anne's level of CF and would be rethinking this friendship as it's not on and she does seem to be thinking it's ok and she can get away with it. If it means she loses other friendships in the group so be it but they're all being put in tricky positions hence their differing answers. It's almost worse because she's richer than most of you (not all rich people are stingy!) but then seeing also that the friend has been very ill etc then it would bring into play why Anne is being so miserly etc now the friend is ill.

I'd send £112. But I would be seriously reconsidering or dropping lots of contact with Anne, and if she asked, I'd tell her the exact reason why and wouldn't care if she got upset/played dumb over it.

Sorry if missed
a money off code
or a voucher ie one she’s been gifted herself?

@Intrigueddotcom - it was a money off email if I recall.

How about none of you pay her anything. More fool her for trying to trick you. She can keep the coffee machine with her 20% discount. The rest of you find a different coffee machine for c.£400.