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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you continue seeing someone if they told you this...

82 replies

Inthenameofrose · 18/05/2022 19:07

Would you continue the sexual (friends with benefits) relationship if the other person told you they wanted more but you didn't?

Just that really.

OP posts:
Inthenameofrose · 19/05/2022 18:43

Some interesting responses.

OP posts:
Inthenameofrose · 19/05/2022 21:33

Why don't you want to know the reasons behind the 'no' replies

Because I already gathered the reason for no.

OP posts:
Waxonwaxoff0 · 19/05/2022 21:34

No. It's a shit thing to do to someone.

Alcibiade · 19/05/2022 21:36

No

Waxonwaxoff0 · 19/05/2022 21:37

And this whole "people are responsible for themselves" is a bit callous in my opinion. Yes they are, but often it's difficult to stop seeing someone that you have feelings for. In which case you should be the better person and end it for their sake. It's selfish as fuck not to.

LicoricePizza · 20/05/2022 04:41

Would you be ok with it if were other way round & you wanted more from him & he said he didn’t but would be happy to carry on sleeping with you?

Fizzyfish · 20/05/2022 04:47

Have done in the past but it was torture as I could see the other person developed deep feelings and I just didn't.. they knew I would break it off one day and I did, it didn't make me feel one bit good. I wouldn't do it again, I warned them at the start that I didn't want to hurt them but they said they would be OK, they really weren't. Don't do it op, it's a shit thing to go and there are no winners

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 20/05/2022 04:57

No.

Idontgiveashitanymore · 20/05/2022 06:21

If they were rich and had the same values and wants as me then yes, otherwise no.

ThatshallotBaby · 20/05/2022 06:37

No I really wouldn’t. Life is unfair enough without me adding to it.

Sally872 · 20/05/2022 06:53

Very unfair to continue having sex if no chance for anything more.

FWB only works while both are happy to have sex without a relationship (or both happy to get more serious). If one person is hoping for more and the other doesn't it really is using their "friend" if they continue.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 20/05/2022 07:02

what a user

i dont think much of your fwb relationship tbh
bound to end in tears, or turn into an actual relationship
what is the reason for no relationship?

Hesma · 20/05/2022 07:02

No

grapewines · 20/05/2022 07:05

Of course not. The point of FWB is fun not feelings.

Metabigot · 20/05/2022 07:06

I think things would get awkward after that point, so no. It would change the vibe.

CharlotteRose90 · 20/05/2022 07:06

Depends on the circumstances. If there was a chance of the person changing their mind on wanting more I’d possibly consider it.

FrecklesMalone · 20/05/2022 07:09

No I stopped one if the best sex ever because he said he was falling for me. I wasn't in the right place for romance so with great regret (as he was very good in bed) I stopped. 😭

FloraGreysteel · 20/05/2022 07:14

No.

Eeksteek · 20/05/2022 07:15

No, I think an imbalance of power in a relationship is a very unhealthy thing for both parties. I’m not sure whether an imbalance of ‘love’ is a problem in itself, but it creates an imbalance of power as one is more invested in the relationship than the other.

Anyfeckinusername · 20/05/2022 07:18

thistimelastweek · 18/05/2022 22:14

Depend on why I don't want more but still want to continue.

This! Spot on.

lborgia · 20/05/2022 07:22

Once you know how someone feels, it takes a particular cold person to continue shagging them.

Whatever the other person says, they're ALWAYS going to be hoping you'll see the light.

Plus, needy, hopeful, or wistful are not very hot.

Lampan · 20/05/2022 07:24

No, I wouldn’t.
But there are PLENTY of men who would.

Problemmo · 20/05/2022 07:27

No because they’ll be hoping the reason you’re continuing knowing how they feel is because you also have feelings. They’ll always be hoping something more will develop, it’s cruel.

Redglitter · 20/05/2022 07:31

No. A FWB only really works when you're both on the same page. That would be a deal breaker for me. It would be very unfair to continue

insomnia101 · 20/05/2022 07:36

No. It really wouldn't be fair. If they're starting to develop feelings and want more, and you don't, then you can't really carry on having a sexual relationship. It would only get their hopes up that you'd eventually change your mind and it wouldn't be fair.