I think I’m normally a very reasonable person. I am inclined to be a little insecure admittedly, but I think I handle it and I’m not in the habit of making this other people’s problem. Nevertheless perhaps someone wiser/more mature/emotionally grounded etc could guide me on how not to get wound up by this. It doesn’t spoil EVERY programme or film we watch but it does frequently piss me right off and spoil my enjoyment and any feelings of quiet intimacy of watching something together. I find I’m managing those feelings instead of enjoying the show. I am just so fed up of hearing how beautiful, graceful, elegant, Hepburn-esque, sexy the women on our tv screen are. Their teeth, their eyes, their legs, their hair. It’s so bloody annoying.
I have finally said something about it and essentially he’s gone all quiet and said he wouldn’t intentionally offend me and to call him when I’m ready and gone back to his own house. To me that isn’t the same as being interested in why your partner is upset or being genuinely sorry. So he has left this morning and avoided asking anything or acknowledging how I feel in any meaningful way. I am possibly being hard work and I know you guys won’t hold back in letting me know.
Does anyone else get this on a regular basis and are you bothered by it or not? And if not, how do you rise above it. I have thought about doing the same to see if he notices but a) I think that would be childish and unhelpful and b) there are way fewer genuinely attractive men on screen than women so it’s harder to comment! And it just doesn’t feel like me to do that.
I realise that this could be a bit thought-policey or controlling and that’s why I have never mentioned it before because I don’t want to make him uncomfortable or feel like he can’t express himself freely but I can’t go on listening to it either because it’s getting right on my wick.
Our relationship is otherwise pretty good and he is a caring, loving partner but this drives me up the wall. It’s possibly not helped by the fact that he isn’t that forthcoming with compliments on my appearance and all of his commentary illustrates just how far I am from what it is that he seems to find attractive. Maybe I am being excessively needy or narcissistic.
Anyone else feel like this or am I being unreasonable and a bit of a twat to have asked him if he could stop doing this because I find it really annoying. I feel worse now than I did before because he has neither apologised nor asked why I feel like that and he hasnt demonstrated that he cares how I feel. Perhaps I’m not entitled to expect that and it would be understandable if he felt defensive in the first instance but I suspect he is going to be feeling all hard done by and unless I force the issue (which doesn’t feel right for me to do), he will never broach it again of his own accord.
Thank you for reading this. It really is a storm in a teacup in many ways but any views and insights welcome!