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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Think the Library Should Let My Daughter Study?

57 replies

Charliesunnysky10 · 16/05/2022 21:40

My 15 year old daughter revises for her GCSE's each evening at the local library because she says it's perfectly quiet and she feels 'in the zone'. She shares a bedroom with her 11 year old sister and while they get on ok, I understand she needs a nice big desk space to herself, which is another reason she likes it. It's been working well until tonight when a staff member approached and asked her age. He then told her to leave as only over 16's are allowed in after 7pm. She messaged me asking to be collected early (we arranged 8.30 as a pick up time and I message her when I'm in the car park). Luckily we live a 10 minute drive, but she was tearfully stood outside alone in the car park when I arrived. I know she's not been causing problems as it's not in her nature, and I have an old school friend who works there and said only last weekend when we passed each other that it was lovely to see her each evening busy working and reading. She never mentioned a 7pm cut off, but she might think my daughter is over 16 as she looks and behaves quite maturely. AIBU to complain and ask them to let her have the extra 90 mins each evening? She's 16 in July but her exams will be over by then.

OP posts:
Charliesunnysky10 · 17/05/2022 11:04

That should read under 16, not 14! 😄

OP posts:
AchatAVendre · 17/05/2022 11:06

Thats awful. Can you imagine the jobsworthy gossip that started objecting to your daughter studying in a library, of all places?

I'd ask to see their written policy on this and also request at the same time their equality policy. It sounds very much as if it might be age discrimination, as it cannot really be justified on health and safety grounds, particularly if you have arranged a safe pick up.

ChitChatChatter · 17/05/2022 11:07

Charliesunnysky10 · 17/05/2022 11:02

Thank you so much for your advice and views (and funny posts 😉). I popped in to see them this morning, as my daughter still wants to study there - it's perfectly quiet, thousands of books, and a huge clear desk, with other older students around doing the same, which inspires her. I can't recreate that at home each evening, and I think she wants to be out of the house for a few hours too. It works really well.

Anyway, the manager and head librarian saw me this morning and said there's no issue with insurance, safeguarding or any other protocol. The staff member who asked her to leave at 7pm was from another library and mistaken, perhaps using old guidelines from his setting, though they don't think any of the libraries treat students under 14 differently and nobody is asked to leave unless the whole building is closing. And she's welcome to study as long into the evening as she wishes, though I explained I always collect her 8.30 latest.

So, problem solved. And thank you again.

Fantastic update!

whynotwhatknot · 17/05/2022 11:17

good outcome hopefully they'll have a word with him-bet he jsut wanted to ge toff early

Mariposista · 17/05/2022 11:17

Poor hardworking teenagers can't do right for doing wrong nowadays can they? They hang about on the streets and they are 'layabouts', if they want to go and study in the library (most parents'/teachers' dream), and they can't do that either!

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 17/05/2022 11:51

So glad she's sorted! Well done for challenging this calmly to get the right result.

Shame on those who said you should just suck this up coz rules is rules 🙄

If it makes your DD feel better, I was once chucked out of the school library for the crime of.......

........ reading a book! Apparently that isn't what libraries are for 🙄

lanthanum · 17/05/2022 12:43

Great news!

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