To argue with DH over Dave Chapelle? *Trigger warning child sex abuse joke*

[Justasec321]

I have changed username but have been knocking around here for a long time, mainly as a reader.

For the last while DH has been saying how much he like Chapelle (I had never heard of him). He said I should listen to him or watch hime as his social comentary is very good.

I did today but cannot get to grips with it.

He has set pieces in which he discusses how he enjoyed being abused as a child as he could come all over the preachers face; about how older women have labia that are down to their knees, have clitoris the size of balls, the old ones are ugly especially when they smile. Nothing escaped his attention - breasts, genitals, age, voice, feet, colour.... He only ever refered to women by using the word Bitch/Bitches.

I am actually quite upset by it. I have never listened to anything like that before. I never thought DH would be entertained by it. He does not see any connection between that, and general culture.

I am not sure what I think really, and am hoping the rough and tumble of AIBU will help me hone my thoughts.

Am I being unreasonable to argue the point?

I haven't watched any of his shows since about 2007, but I did used to find him funny. I'll have to watch another skit.

Maybe I should watch his 2007 material and see!

I can't get on with it either. The 'bitches' thing is just plain misogyny and not funny unless you are as well.

Does he not need therapy instead of an audience?

I think he's vile. He made a parody on his shitty little show of R Kelly raping and urinating on a child. Scum.

Sounds utterly vile and I'm not easily offended. I would be appalled if my dh thought stuff like that was funny (he wouldn't).

Personally, I’m a longtime fan.
He’s not for everyone.
The Closer was genius. That’s my opinion. That doesn’t have to become anyone’s fact and I completely understand why some people would not want to hear his comedy.
He’s incredibly skilled at what he does.

See that is what dh says - but he is so skilled. But I think that jokes on the weakest - childhood sex abuse survivours for example - are NOT skilled. It is just punching down.

Someone with that history would find it very hard to push back against that.

Older women and how fuckable they are or are not - they cannot stand up either - they will Karened out of the room.

I am truly surprised by dh. Actually, I am taken aback.

Please don't let that be true.......

It's not for you and that's ok, but that doesn't mean that someone else shouldn't find it funny. Comedians making jokes does not condone the behaviour, nor does it encourage people to abuse children. It's trying to be shocking and controversial, some people find that funny. Not to my taste but hey ho.

Free speech means the right to be offensive.

If you mean the skit on the Chapelle show, I remember he mocked R Kelly for urinating on people by showing a guy who looked like R Kelly with a toilet seat around his head and a silly song about peeing on people. Not sure how that translates to mocking him raping children.

But hey, don't let the truth get in the way of you being outraged.

I don't think I've seen him?!

but from your description & how much you disliked it, why do you think your DH would tell you that you should watch it??

I know what you are saying there, and agree in the main.

But when does it cross the line, and become less about shock/controversery and more about bullying/laughing at?

In todays world if you said any thing remotely comprable about Disabled, Mentally Impaired, Black, Jews etc you would rightly be run out of town.

Is comedy possible without that?

He was a man ahead of his time… ripping the shit out of a known predator, R. Kelly, years ago.

Personally, his whole Daphne sketch from The Closer really hit hard. I thought that was brilliant.

Well i’m a woman and i dont offended. Its a joke. And i like chapelle

People have different senses of humour. Your husband's is different to yours. As Jimmy Carr says, a joke about a terrible thing is not the same as the terrible thing.

I saw a short clip and found it funny.i then decided to watch a full show and I was horrified. I also don't find this type of humor funny.

Hmm yeah not for me. There's dark, black humour and provocative material and there is offensive misogyny disguised as 'humour'.

If my DH thought it wasn't funny, to be honest, he wouldn't be for me either. I'd struggle with him finding something so distasteful and sexist amusing as it would highlight that we're just not on the same wavelength. We can differ in what entertains us, sure, but this would be too... different.

If my DH thought it wasn't funny, to be honest, he wouldn't be for me either

Sorry, typo. If my DH thought it was funny.

Joan Rivers joked about 9/11 a few months after and also joked about her husbands suicide

I doubt either subject she found funny but she made humour out of the subjects (not that everyone would find it funny)

I hate comedians who make jokes at the expense of people who have been through trauma, especially children, just not funny to me at all. Was revolted when somebody, can't remember who, made stupid jokes about Madeleine McCann.

It actually just makes me feel kind of bleak.

There are about 0.4 billion people in the US and UK. They're not all going to find the same things funny. You didn't even know Dave Chappelle existed so obviously his jokes haven't affected your life at all. So why get so disgusted? Just go back to not watching him so you're not offended and leave alone the people who enjoy him.

It seems that after he has laughed at various people he then goes on to have insightful things to say about political hot potatoes and so on....I did not get that far. I did not have the stomach for it.