To argue with DH over Dave Chapelle? *Trigger warning child sex abuse joke*

[Justasec321]

I have changed username but have been knocking around here for a long time, mainly as a reader.

For the last while DH has been saying how much he like Chapelle (I had never heard of him). He said I should listen to him or watch hime as his social comentary is very good.

I did today but cannot get to grips with it.

He has set pieces in which he discusses how he enjoyed being abused as a child as he could come all over the preachers face; about how older women have labia that are down to their knees, have clitoris the size of balls, the old ones are ugly especially when they smile. Nothing escaped his attention - breasts, genitals, age, voice, feet, colour.... He only ever refered to women by using the word Bitch/Bitches.

I am actually quite upset by it. I have never listened to anything like that before. I never thought DH would be entertained by it. He does not see any connection between that, and general culture.

I am not sure what I think really, and am hoping the rough and tumble of AIBU will help me hone my thoughts.

Am I being unreasonable to argue the point?

Fair enough.

There is a lot of dark, dark humour that really helps process things. Usually though there is a lot if wit. This in my opinion is not that.

It may be a matter of taste.

Or he may be an arse.

Thank you for that because that is how I felt - bleak.

I will.

I suppose I am just pondering a bit.

What a talk forum is for really!

I loved "The Closer" thought it was very clever and also v moving. (Def watch this if you can bear to give him a second chance)

I do appreciate a lot of the earlier stuff with all the bitch talk and some of the more pedestrian naff sexist shit about women can grind. But actually he's generally making a wider point. Not always, sometimes it's offensive for offensive sake. But often the target is not as obvious as you first think.

He actually did a bit about how he had to stop doing a whole little skit at his shows, can't remember the details now but it was about racism. Because some people didn't get it and they thought he really was being offensive and encouraged them to be more offensive, when in reality he was taking the piss out of them.

Clearly many people have under-developed tastes and derive pleasure from the offensive ( it explains the "Home" section in B&M fully )

Well i’m a woman and i dont offended. Its a joke. And i like chapelle

'It's a joke' has been used since the dawn of time to excuse saying shitty things at the expense of others.

Feeling bleak about it is absolutely right.

I suppose I am just pondering a bit.

What a talk forum is for really!

Totally fair comment. 😄

"In todays world if you said any thing remotely comprable about Disabled, Mentally Impaired, Black, Jews etc you would rightly be run out of town."

Older (biological) women are fair game.

"He actually did a bit about how he had to stop doing a whole little skit at his shows, can't remember the details now but it was about racism."

If only we had the same drive towards sexism as we do racism, he wouldn't get as many defenders. Or if it is just a joke, then why can't he include the racist material?
More than likely because "There's dark, black humour and provocative material and there is offensive misogyny disguised as 'humour'."

Watch The Closer on Netflix.

😁

This.

I’m surprised he’s not more popular on Mumsnet given the transphobia controversy around his latest special.

I think it's fine to not like a comedian. I don't think there's any point trying to argue with someone about why they shouldn't like a comedian.

It's almost like people are complex and can agree, disagree and in between with a range of people. I think I'd be pressed to find anyone I agreed with about everything AND also found talented.

I've never seen his comedy, but he lives near me. He's surprisingly involved in local issues in his town. And he's very nice if you run into him on the street. The comedy sounds like it's not my taste though.

I’ve never heard of him so had a Google, good old wiki gives an account of each show with an outline of some of the jokes

Its so sad the lady who supported him committed suicide, but he sounded genuinely upset about that

Have you watched a whole show? Because he tends to start with outrageous jokes then moves on tell a story where he puts them in context, or at least his most recent shows do.
Otherwise I’m not sure what kind of point you’re planning to argue with your DH? He likes his stuff, you don’t? I like the shows I’ve seen. My partner would get short shrift if he started telling me I can and can’t like.

The Closer was quite a moving tribute to his friend Daphne Dorman, a transwoman, who committed suicide after being bullied by the trans community for defending Dave Chappelle against accusations of transphobia. Just because someone tells you someone is a transphobe doesn't mean they are and if you had watched The Closer you would know that.

Some of it’s funny- to me anyway. But most of his stuff doesn’t do it for me.

Comedy is subjective however. I bloody love Joe Lycett, Katherine Ryan and Jack Whitehall, for example, but others are adamant they aren’t funny at all. I tend to agree to disagree with people about this stuff and try and move on.

Humour, like most things, is subjective. I probably wouldn’t watch him but I would defend anyone else’s right to have their own thoughts. We are really in danger these days of trying to ban “incorrect thoughts” and I find that more concerning than anything he could possibly say.

Joking about someone's missing child is definitely crossing the line. That feels quite personal.

Maddy Mccann jokes were quite popular when I was at school.

I know it's not "morally right" to joke about these things, but I've always been drawn to them. I also don't really get offended by jokes that "punch-down" at a characteristic I have. Can't tell you why, it just doesn't compute the same way as an actual insult said with malice etc.

Or if it is just a joke, then why can't he include the racist material?

Yeah, I'm not really sure why he stopped doing it, I can't see a reason why he should have stopped doing that skit. I mean, it's not like he's a white person doing a racist skit, he's black himself.

I think he's hilarious. A joke is a joke and he's fantastic at writing them.